125: The One Where Toni is in Rehab

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CHERYL POV:

"Toni." She turns around. She looks at me. "What's up?" She smiles. "I think we should talk." She looks down and nods. "I'll find someone to stay with." She gets up I stop her. "No! About this." I show her the bag I found full of drugs. She looks at me. "I thought you stopped selling." She nods. "I did." She whispers. "Than why do you have these?" I ask. "They're mine." She confuses to me. She gets up and walks away frustrated. "Toni!" She doesn't stop. I get up and follow her. "Toni!" I stop her. "You need help." I whisper. "It's just weed and Oxy. I'm fine." She tells me. "Expect you're not." She nods. "I'm fine!" She insist. "Toni!" I yell. "You have a problem! You're not ok!" I tell her. "I can't go back!" She yells. "I've been in and out of rehab and NA. I can't do it." She whispers. She holds back tears. "I'm sorry. I'll pack my bags." She tells me. I take her hand. "To go to rehab?" She shakes her head. "To get out of your life because I know you don't want me." I cup her cheeks. "You need help. You're going to rehab." She starts crying. "What started this?" I ask quietly. She looks down. "Your mom?" I ask. She nods. "I wish she was here." She sits down. "Rehab." She nods.

"I don't want to go." Toni whispers. "I know. You need help though!" She nods. "I need help." She tells herself. I nod and kiss her. "Just don't fall in love or anything." We both laugh. "Go." I whisper. She walks into the rehab center. I get back into the car.

TONI POV:

"What happened to you as a kid?" My therapist ask quietly. "My mom was killed in front of me when I was 13. By my father." I tell her. "Antoinette-." I stop her. "It's Toni." I whisper. "Toni when you're mom was killed you were there?" I nod. "My dad shot her in the kitchen, they got into a fight and I went to see what was happening and it happened. I left home and I was homeless and started dealing and I started using. I've been in and out of here more than I would like to admit." She nods. "The paper work says you have an drug but it doesn't say anything about alcohol is that true?" I nod. "I don't drink. It taste weird."

"How are you doing?" Cheryl ask quietly. I get into the car. "I don't want to talk about anything right now." I just look straight ahead. "To-." I stop her. "I just want to go home." She nods and drives off. I take a few deep breaths. "You ok?" She ask quietly. "I feel like I'm about to throw up." She takes my hand. We finally got home. We go into the house. "I'll be in our room." I go into the bedroom and lie on the bed. I start crying. The door opens and Cheryl sits next to me. "I brought you some Pops." I look at her. "Talk to me." She moves hair out of my face. "It just brought everything back. I can't stop thinking about my mom." Cheryl and I started dating shortly before my mom died, we've been on and off. Every time we would break up I would go into rehab, it's bad. "I know." She tells me. "I know." She nods. "I wish I could have saved her." She pulls me closer. "There wasn't anything you could do." She opens the Pops bag and sits in front of me on the bed. "Eat." She pulls out my burger. "I not hungry." I whisper. "To bad. Eat." I take a deep breath and sit up. "How was it?" Cheryl ask quietly. "The same." I shrug. "That doesn't help because you never tell me when you go." She gets mad. "Because every time we get into some kind of argument you break up with me and I go off and drown my thoughts with drugs!" I get frustrated. She looks at me. "When you finally calm down I'm already in rehab!" I tell her. "What about NA?" She ask quietly. "I just go after school." She looks at me pissed off. "What about tutoring?" I look down. "My grades are fine, I just told you that so you would believe me." I eat my fries. She nods. "What's the worst drug?" She ask quietly. I think. " psychedelic? Or like coke and stuff?" I ask quietly. "Either." I take a deep breath. "LSD. Meth. I just smoked meth once. I hated it so I stopped. I did LSD a few times." She look at me a little disappointed. "Alcohol?" She ask quietly. I scrunch my nose. "Ew." She smiles. "Really?" I nod. "Kinda like meth. I hated it. Especially all the fruity drinks." I tell her. "I should get to a meeting." I get up. "Do you want to come?" I ask quietly. "I don't want to be alone." She nods. "Just let me get changed. Ok?" I nod. "I'm sorry for yelling at you." I apologize. "You're right. I don't know how to rationalize fights." I smile. She quickly gets changed. "Come on." We go a few people talk. The woman running this looks at me and I stand up. "I'm Toni. I've been sober for about a month." I look back at Cheryl and she smiles. "I um just got out of ahh... rehab for the..." I think about how many times. "About ahh the 5th, 5th time." I tell everybody. "That's it." I sit down and everyone claps. The woman running this looks at Cheryl. "You?" She ask. "I'm just here for emotional support." The woman nods. I take a deep breath. Cheryl takes my hand. I look at her. Some other people go and the meeting is over. I walk out. "What's wrong?" Cheryl rubs my arm. "I don't know." She looks at me. I look up at the sky. "I just hope she's not disappointed in me." I say. "I don't think she's disappointed. No matter how many times you fall off the wagon. She's your mother." I nod. "You're right." I whisper. "Can we go visit her." She takes my hand and go. "Do you want to get flowers?" She ask quietly. "Yeah." We go to a store and I buy some flowers. I walk out. "Let's go." We we leave and go to grave yard, I walk up to my moms grave. I look down at the grave. I sit down. "Mom." I place the flowers down. "I'm sorry you have to watch me fall apart once a year." I take a deep breath. "I just wish you were here." I hold back tears.

"You ok?" I look at Cheryl. "Yeah." I whisper. "You're wasting water." She turns the faucet off. "O-oh." I whisper. "What's wrong?" She ask quietly. "Nothing. I just spaced out. I'm not used to being home." I lie. "Do you want to take a bath?" She ask quietly. "I'm not 6." She smiles. "No! I mean together." I smile and nod. "Yeah." She takes my hand and take me to the bathroom. She gets the bath ready while I just sit on the counter. "Talk to me." She whispers. "There's nothing to talk about." I smile. "I've known you since we were 8. You're not ok." I look down. "I don't want to talk about it right now." I whisper. I cup her cheek. "I love you." I whisper. I kiss her. "The bath is ready." She smiles before kissing me back. We get into the bath. I kiss the her hand. There's a knock at the door. "V we're busy!" Cheryl yells. "Since when does Veronica just come into the house?" I ask quietly. "Since she's been living here. Her dad kicked her out." I nod.

CHERYL POV:

It's been a few days and Toni has been off. It doesn't surprise me when I wake up to an empty bed. My heart stops when there's a loud knock at the front door. I go downstairs "have you heard from Toni?" I ask Veronica. "No." She shrugs and goes into the kitchen to make coffee. I go and open it. "FP. What can I do for you today?" He takes off his sheriff's hat. "Can I come inside?" He ask. I nod. "Yeah, Toni isn't hear she probably went to a meeting or something." I walk him into the kitchen and get a mug for coffee. "You girls might want to sit down." He tells me. I look at Veronica and we both sit down. "Well, we got a call about an hour ago about someone finding a body at Sweetwater. We went to investigate and it's Toni. We think it was a suicide." My heart drops. It doesn't surprise me though. I take a deep breath. "Can I make sure it's her?" I ask quietly. "Of course." He gets up.

I walk into Fps office and sit down. "Do you know have any idea of what could have lead to this?" FP ask quietly. "She just got out of rehab again." I whisper. "I think she'd been talking about her mother there because the anniversary of her death is coming up. I think it was really started to effect her." He writes everything down. "Is there any idea of how she killed herself?" I ask nervously. "We think it was a drug overdose, there were needles." I take a deep breath. "We have some of her stuff if you want it." I nod.

I made sure she was buried next to her mom. I place the flowers in front of both of their graves. "Cheryl." I look back and see Fangs. "Hey." I whisper. "Do you have her jacket? I know it a weird question. But if you don't I can get it to you." He tells me. "Do you feel like digging?" He looks at me confused. "I had her buried with it." I tell him. "I hope that's ok. I know there's serpent traditions and stuff." He nods. "Yeah! It's fine. It's just that jacket has been passed down through generations. But it's fine because she didn't have any siblings to give it to and I don't think she would have dead or alive. Not even if you guys-." I stop him. "Fangs." I look at him. "Yeah?" He stops. "Shut up." He nods. "Sorry." He looks down. "Do you think she's found peace?" I ask looking at her grave. "She's with her mom and not here with her dad." That's when it dawns on me. "Shit!" I whisper. "He doesn't need to know. He's been locked away in jail and will rot in that cell." I nod. "Is it sad that I wasn't surprised she killed herself?" She shakes her head. "No. I think we all saw it coming." I nod. "I just hope she's ok." I look up at the sky. "She is." Fangs nods. "I don't see your car. Do you need a ride?" He ask. "You on the bike?" I ask motioning to his bike. "Yeah." I shake my head. "No." He nods. "Ok. Can I get you a ride or something?" I shake my head. "No. I'm good. Veronica is finding some relative. I'm gonna go find her."

"Goodwill or give to whoever wants it?" Veronica ask holding up one of Toni's shirts. I shake my head. "Keep." I whisper. "Not an option." She tells me. "Keep." I say again. "Still not an option." I look at her. "Still, keep." I get mad. "Cheryl you can't keep everything!" I sit down on the bed. "Camera?" I look at her. "Keep! All of them." She nods. "That I can reason with you." I get up. "This was a mistake."

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