Tisis

Taking action (N)

Three days.
It's been three days since I went to visit the colony...went to talk with the girls.
Informed myself about what's going on on the other side.

I sit in my cave and stare at the sunshine filtering through the trees beyond the entrance.

It's a beautiful day out there...still a tad on the hot side and I need to be careful to always carry enough water with me, but other than that, it really is a beautiful and peaceful day.

The predators seem to have left the area for the biggest part...at least I haven't seen one in the most recent past.

I wonder if it's some sort of leftover programming from Rose, that's keeping them away from me though...I mean, she did say that she's 'not allowed to interfere with their thinking directly', but she seemed to be perfectly capable of lying to us...but then, why go through all that trouble of trying to set me up with an artificial Asmodean?

I let out a long sigh.

There's no point thinking about it, really.
After all, Rose is gone...and if her last order to the creatures of this world was to leave Sirus and me alone, then all the better.

I get up, walk over the small makeshift sink and clean my face, looking at my distorted reflection in the moving water.

No.
No, this isn't right.

I can't just wait for things to get better by themselves.
Thing won't get better, if I just wait it out.

No, I need to get active and show those idiots in the colony, that I'm not their enemy...that I can help them.

And I know exactly how I'm going to do it...oh, I can't wait to see the look on their faces...

A grin appears on my face, as I make my plan.

As the evening draws near and the sun paints the world in the various shades of gold, I break out of the forest at a different location, about one kilometer away from the colony.

Whoever is on guard at the time should not be able to spot me from here.

I find an easy to traverse path down the hills towards the beach, where I lay down my weapons and my clothes, staring out towards the ocean stretching out in front of me.

Time to show them, just what I can do.

I step into the waves crashing against the shore, embracing the feeling of the water washing around my feet.

I close my eyes, double checking, whether I'm really up to doing this.
But there is nothing else I can do, is there?
If I ever want to see Sirus again, I must do something...and the longer I wait, the more likely, he'll have forgotten about me.

I shake my head energetically.

No, that's wrong.
He would never forget about me...even if he found happiness where he is now, what we have is...

I stop walking, as the torrents seek to pull me towards the depths.
Tears start welling up in my eyes, mixing with the salty water surrounding me and disappearing in the infinity of the ocean.

That...stupid idiot...
He knew...he knew all along.
If we had become lovers back when it was just us, it would have changed us...the way we interact, the way we think about each other...

...would he have been able to leave for the colony, knowing that it means leaving me behind...quite possibly heartbroken?

'Having sex changes people', he said.
He didn't want to change us...he wanted to keep this bond of mutual trust we had.

And really, why did I want him as a lover, anyway?
Because of some stupid biological urge, that tells me to get laid, even though my body will never bear fruit?

I look up to the first stars above and the big, bright moon slowly rising from beyond the horizon.

That's not it...I wanted to feel loved.
I wanted to feel important to someone.

And I didn't even see, that I already had just that...and I almost ruined it.

Guess he's not quite the fool I often thought him to be.
He's loved me for a long time now...maybe not in a lover's kind of way, but more in a...family kind of way.

...and I want my family back or die trying!

I jump off from the ground and allow myself to drift towards the depths, quickly submerging myself completely and heading towards the colony.