Tisis

The girl on the other side (N)

...I need some company, or I'll go nuts.

Seriously, what's wrong with me?
First this iffy feeling of being watched and now I already start hearing noises without any source to be made out.

What's next, do I start keeping a pet rock and start talking to it as if it was alive?

I let out another long sigh as I stare upon the fragment glistening in the summer sun.

Maybe it would just be best to end it...pay the bill before the interest for the time I've borrowed thus far becomes too much.

I wonder if Garkla would still take me, if I ended myself voluntarily.
Or would I face Ede's wrath first?
...who am I kidding, with all the killing I've done, I'm bound to go to Ede and face his torment...for a long time.
But at least I would see my people again...what with all the wrongs they've done in their time.

A thought penetrates the emptiness of my mind, I look up to the bright blue sky and mutter, "...ah crap...I forgot that neither Ede nor Garkla are actual Gods...thanks a bunch for killing the only thing I had left to believe in, Rose."

My thoughts continue to spin and I wonder, if we neither go to Garkla or Ede, if all I've ever been taught to believe is wrong...then where do we go after death?

What is 'death' anyway?
Death is the end of life.
So what is life?

Life is...an accumulation of various chemical processes, which allow a 'life form' to consume matter, process it into energy, which is then distributed among the cells, which keep the organism working with said energy.

But is that really all life is?
Is life nothing but a product of 'chance'?
Sure, Sirus and my people were the product of genetic engineering, but even before then, there must have been life in the universe. Someone had to build those machines that created both our races, after all.

Maybe they found the meaning behind being alive...if there even is one.
Rose said, that her makers disappeared...I had assumed, that war spelled their doom, but what if...what if they realized, that there is no meaning in life?

That there is no...no purpose in it all.
If life is all about consuming other life in order to stay in this universe a little longer, then wouldn't it be better to remove yourself from this vicious circle...and end yourself before someone...or something else does?

...great, now I hear a girl crying in my head.

"Shut it, I'm trying to monologue here!" I shout out in my frustration.
Naturally I don't expect an actual response...but much to my surprise, I get one.

"...who...who's there?" the girl asks with a shaky voice.
"...you're the voice in my head, shouldn't you know who I am?"
"V-voice in...o-oh, I'm so terribly sorry. I'll close the channel right away and will not bother you again."

I take a moment to register what the voice said and my eyes grow wide and I shout so loud, it sends a bunch of prey birds to the sky, "Wait!"
Only now I get the idea of checking my communication implant...and sure enough, there is a communication channel open.

An actual, honest to goodness communication channel.
It's unauthenticated and unencrypted, but right now I could hardly care less.

I clear my throat, look around warily to check, whether my careless shout maybe attracted unwanted attention, but it seems like I should be good...unless Rose ever designed some subterranean predator, which is currently tunneling it's way up up to me.

...I need to think less about these things, seriously.

Alright...deep breaths, Nym...you've got this.