Tisis

The first time (S)

After lecturing me about 'herbivores' and 'animal consumption', I feel bile rise up in my throat.

I'm not entirely sure whether it's from her acting all high and mighty or from the battle I just barely managed to survive, but for the simple reason that she is still useful, I choose to think it being from the battle.

I must not add more reasons to just take a stone and bash her head in, just like I've done with these...

Suddenly the gory image of the dead critters around flushes back into my mind and I can feel my entire last meal coming back up.

I drop everything and empty my stomach into the nearby bushes, as the crunching sounds of their little skulls replays in my head and how the life faded from their eyes.

I killed them...took their lives.

Suddenly Nym says, "It's hard, I know...killing something with your own hands, I mean."
"How do you even want to know that?! Got any first hand experience?"
Nym shakes her head and says, "Actually, I do. Back on the ship, we had the custom that every Asmodean applying for a higher position, like being in charge of a block, needs to slay a number of animals, which will then be processed into ver...human food. I know how it feels...but believe it or not, it gets better. You feel...less after a while. But I'm afraid it never goes away."

I look at her with disbelief in my eyes and finally snap, "And what in the world would they make you go through that for?!"
Nym looks at me with steadfast eyes and replies, "So we do not hesitate, if push comes to shove...so we are mentally prepared to kill, if necessary."
"You...that's terrible! Your people are monsters!"
"I wasn't done talking yet...it is also a test. Those who enjoy the killing too much, which is rather easy to tell, fail...because life is a precious thing that must not be wasted."
"And...what do you do with those, who 'enjoy killing too much'?"
"Well, most end...ended up working in the slaughterhouse, where they prepared the meals for the ver...humans. Others, less extreme cases, were mostly assigned to guard duty, hoping that the boring routine would dull them."

I roll my eyes and mumble, "Right, assign the psychopaths, who don't value life, to watch over the people."
"I heard that. But yes, you are right...for multiple reasons, though. One of them being, that they don't hesitate to act if 'people' decide to act up."
"No, they most certainly didn't hesitate, that's right."

I shake my head, pick up the stuff I dropped earlier and continue to stagger after Nym, now even weaker than before.

I sure hope this stuff really is edible.