Tisis

Perception (N)

A disaster.
This is a complete and utter disaster!

What was I even thinking?!
What was I even expecting?!
That he'd tell me that he always liked me or something?!

Oh please!
As if there ever was any real chance of that!
Maybe if this was just some...some stupid story of a third class romance novelist, who would put us through this entire ordeal, only to satisfy his twisted idea of 'true love in adversary'!

"Nym? I...I think I'll be taking Ray for a little walk," Sirus says and leaves.

I don't respond.
I think if I allow my mouth to open right about now, whatever comes out will prove to be even more devastating than the foolish words that escaped it a little earlier.

I get up myself and start pacing.

His words echo in the back of my mind.

'I don't like you that way.'
'More like a little sister.'

I look down at myself.
My skin glistens with sweat where the dress made from fur does not cover it.
It is cool and smooth to the touch...just like it's supposed to be.

Granted there are a number of scars that mar it...but I earned every single of these scars.
They are testament to the ordeals I...we overcame together.

No, Sirus wouldn't take offense in my scars.
But then...what is it...?

'Little sister'.
This implies that he considers me...immature?
I agree that my...outburst might well have been considered immature, but thus far, my knowledge and reason have served us well enough.

He has no reason to doubt my mental maturity.
But still...for him to call me 'little sister'...a 'sister' is a female relative of the first degree.
That's...good, I guess.
It implies, that he is fond of me and considers me part of his family.

What irks me the most is the 'little' part.
If I remember correctly, I am a little older than he is.
As such, him calling me 'little' is plain out false.

...but what could prompt him to this false assumption, when I am clearly superior to him in terms of life experience and knowledge?
What could possibly warp his perception of me?
What could possibly make him perceive me as...maybe even as a child?

I stop pacing, lean against the wall and look up to the ceiling.

It has to be my physique.

Yes...yes, that makes sense.
I look nothing like a human woman...and I'm not even talking about the color of my skin.

For one, these humans are freakishly tall.
Sirus alone is at least 20 centimeters taller than me.

But the biggest difference is most likely in the presence of mammaries, which I simply do not have.
Evolution had it, that my body was built sleek and aqua-dynamic...whereas human women developed more rounded bodies, to support longer periods of famine as well as the feeding of their young.

Most of these curves...develop during adolescence.

I gulp at these thoughts.

A child...I must look like a child to him.

But I am not a child.
I am a grown woman.

...and as a grown woman, I must respect his wishes.
Otherwise, I would be every bit as childish as he perceives me to be.

Though I guess it would be a good idea to inform him of his lapse in judgment.

Can't have him treat me like a child that needs to be protected, after all.

After all, this is a dangerous world.
And I don't need a chaperone.