Tisis

Cracks (N)

It's been about two weeks since we found the first traces of the approaching spring in the snow.

Ever since then, snowfall has become significantly less frequent and there are more and more patches of brown shimmering through the blanket of white, as the remaining snow slowly thaws away.

There's no doubt about it any more: We survived winter.

The return of warmth has reawakened Sirus' spirits and he's been trying even harder to recover from the broken leg.
The other day, I actually saw him trying to do a sprint, but it's obvious that he's still in pain, despite denying it each time I ask him.

Honestly, why does that guy have to be so stubborn?

But then again, it's probably a good thing that he's so stubborn.
Helps you stay sane when there's something trying to kill you behind every third corner.

There is also a downside to the dawn of the new season...the predators are waking from their hibernation period.

Just yesterday, one of them tried to get the jump on me, but Sera gave it a good kick against the skull and I finished it off with an arrow straight between the eyes.

Not to brag, but I've gotten pretty good with the bow while moving around.
I guess having to rely on your skills in order to just stay alive does that to you.

"Hey, Nym? You about done in there yet?" Sirus asks from beyond the door.
I sigh, put the bark and the coal to the small table, raise from the tub and try myself off with a fur.

It sure reeks like death and decay...but it's still better than going out all wet.
Once the plants are back in full bloom, I'll have to try to find some that can be made into an actual towel.

I look over to the closed door, where Sirus is patiently waiting for his turn to take a bath and cannot help but wonder, if he actually knows what a towel is.

I feel a little ashamed, that I don't even know, what items for the personal hygiene we supplied them with, despite having been their overseer for years.

I shake my head, slip into my fresh clothes, open the door, where the dirty and grimy Sirus is already waiting and tell him, "Now, Mister. It's really not nice to rush a Lady in the bathroom. Do try to not get yourself as dirty the next time, that way you'll require less water."

Sirus gives me a wry smile and replies, "Oh, I beg your pardon, princess. The next time something seeks to devour me, I shall kindly ask it to refrain from pushing me into a mud hole."

How strange.
Not so long ago, I would have strangled him for calling me princess, even in jest, but now...I don't seem to mind at all.
I guess it's because I now know that he bears me no ill will.

Is this, what 'having close friends' feels like?

"Nym? You okay?"
I snap back from my thoughts, look straight into Sirus' face, where the laughter was replaced by worry and retort, "Of course I am. No injuries, or..."
"You're crying."

I blink a few times, put my finger to my face and sure enough it feels wet.
I wipe it away and give Sirus a light slap on the back of his head, "I just came from the tub, silly. That's just leftover water. Now in with you and get yourself cleaned up. And please do try to clean the thing after you're done. I'd rather not take a mud bath the next time."

I shove Sirus inside, not even waiting for his protest and close the door shut behind him, leaning against it.

Why in the world was I crying?
And why is my heart beating so fast?
Why...

I close my eyes and sink to the grassy and warm ground.

I know, don't I?
Why this feels so very unfamiliar. So sad.

Back on the ship, I've had hundreds of subordinates...but not even a single friend. And the one closest to being a friend betrayed our entire race and locked me into a storeroom...to protect me from the destruction he helped wreak, he said.

I...I've been lonely for so long...and never even realized it.
No, that's wrong...I did realize it. I just didn't want it to be true.
I shut myself in on purpose...to shut out the hurt...the pain of being left alone.
I buried myself in my work. My purpose.

And then...then this...this stupid savage crashes into my life and cracks open the shell I built around myself with his unrelenting will to go on...his kindness...and warmth...and...

All those feelings I've never known crash down on me, drowning out all reason and before I know it, I find myself on the far side of the meadow.

I ran. I must have run.
I'm all out of breath, my legs are hurting from the sudden exercise without being warmed up properly, my side is stinging.

Why...why did I run?
I...I don't understand myself any more.

I look up to the skies and yell at the top of my lungs, "Why did you have to leave me?!", huffing and puffing after the outburst, as a wave of sadness rolls over me.

"Why...didn't you even try to save yourself, mom...? Why did you have to be a hero? I could really need your advice right now..."

Hot tears fall on the snow, leaving tiny scars on the otherwise pristine surface.

After about ten minutes of crying, I look around.

I am near where Zero is resting in his cocoon...Sirus hasn't been able to check up on him recently because of his leg.

I...I need to move. I'll freeze if I don't move.
My skin is still wet and it's still cold.
Yeah, moving is a good idea.

I stagger to my feet, wipe my nose with the back of my hand and wander over to the cocoon.

It's still there. If anything, it only got bigger. No snow rests on top of it.
I place my hand on it.
It's...actually warm.
A lot warmer than I expected it to be.

Wait a second, could that mean...?

As if in response to my suspicions, something bangs from the inside of the huge cocoon to where my hand is sitting and a huge crack appears.

"F..." I whisper.

My mind begins to race.
Whatever is in there is about to hatch.
And I'm here, all alone and, what's even worse, unarmed.

My legs preempt my reason once again and I start running, still not sure about the where to.

Reason tells me to fetch the weapons from the plateau, but before I can even tell myself to change the direction, I'm already a the bathing cave.

Ah, screw you body, could you at least wait for my mind to catch up with you?!

I shake my head, sprint the rest of the way and bang against the door of the bathroom, yelling, "Sirus! Sirus, the cocoon! It's hatching!"

A loud 'thud', followed by some choice words and then hasty steps.

Did he...just fall out of the tub or something?
Wait, he isn't going to...

He yanks the door open, stares me straight in the face and yell, "What was that?!"

Yup, he's done it. He's standing in front of me stark naked.

My body tenses as I have to summon every last bit of willpower I have left to not look down and say as calm as I can, "The cocoon is cracking open. Whatever is inside will very likely hatch soon. I strongly suggest, that you get dressed and I'll meet you there after getting..."

No! Bad Nym! No looking down!
Honestly, what is it with me today?!

Only now Sirus seems to realize that he's actually still naked, flushes red and hurries back inside.

I shake my head, telling myself to calm down.

Honestly, it's as if I've never seen a human naked before.

...only that I found the sight disgusting before.

Stupid hormones.
Yeah, that must be it. My hormones are playing tricks on me.
Nothing more, nothing less.
That I can live with.