Tisis

Reasons for caring (N)

I can't believe this guy!
Just a few days in and he gets cocky and careless!
Does he even have any idea what could have happened?!

These and similar thoughts cloud my mind as we walk back to the cave.
Fortunately the bright moon is lighting up the surroundings, otherwise navigating might be difficult...things sure look different at night though.
And I don't even want to know, what kind of beasts are watching us right now.

As I huff and puff and get ready to really chew him out once we're back, a sudden thought of clarity strikes me.

Why do I even care so much about something happening to this dumb human?

I push my anger aside and ponder the question.
It doesn't take me long to find an answer though. Multiple answers, at that.

For once there's what my father told me just mere weeks ago.
'The humans are our purpose. Our reason for being here.'
Well damn straight they are the reason why I'm stuck here, but I've been raised to guard and keep them from hurting each other, so I guess that's part of the reason why he gets me so riled up with stunts like that.
If he were to perish, my failure as the overseer of block D would be complete.

But that's not all of it, is it?

I look around this wondrous, yet scary and dangerous world and then over to Sirus, as he sulks behind me, clearly expecting me to blow up in his face any minute.
If one was to watch us, I believe it would look like a mother bringing her child back home, after they screwed up.

Is that what this feeling is? Did I naturally assume the role of his guardian?
Well, I guess it does make sense, considering his immaturity and reliance on my knowledge...but that's still not everything, is it?

I look up to the sky with the thousands of sparkling stars and cannot help but wonder what might lie beyond.
How far are we from civilized space anyway?
Even if I got the emergency beacon working, would anyone even receive it before we die?

"Nym? You okay?"

I snap out of my thoughts and turn around to Sirus, who gives me a concerned look.

"Look, I'm sorry I ran off. But see? I'm fine. So...you really don't have to cry."
"Cry?! Why in Garkla's name would I be crying?!"
"I...don't know? ...why are you crying then?"

I blink a few times, put a finger to my face and wipe off a trace of a tear.
Huh...I guess I was crying.
How strange...I didn't even notice that my tears had started flowing.

"Nym? Are...you feeling okay? Do you need me to fetch you some water or something? I-I think I saw some of those herbs you like so much the other day nearby. I could..."

I raise my hand to shut him up and reply, "I'm fine, Sirus. But please...don't do anything this reckless ever again. I..."

Which is it now?
Why is his recklessness getting under my skin so much?

A thousand thoughts collide in my head, but eventually a simple truth emerges from the mess.
I am scared of being alone.
And if he were to die, I would be alone.

"Nym?"
"Nothing. Just...don't, okay? We only have each other. There are no replacements for either of us."
"Got it...but still, what do you think that thing was?"
"You should forget about it. It's not like you will ever see it again. And even if you do, the next time you may well have to kill it to defend yourself against it, because judging from its teeth and muscular build, that thing was a predator...and beasts like that do not things like 'gratitude'. They only know hunger."

We return to our cave, close the door and turn in for the remainder of the night.

I'm so going to feel this little excursion in the morning.