Talking Serenity (Completed)

Hymns Of A Waster

14 March 2020 is a special date where I can't believe that the commitment that has been said and agreed upon as a getaway car is canceled by those I trust. Never in my life, I would have thought that this yearly date will bring me to a point of realization and footing where I was finally able to see obscurity that vibrates itchiness into my soul for over 20 years of living in this world. Although...I have always loved the way this date showed me transparency each year as I have grown into adulthood, still...this time, this date has indeed dragged my heart into a reality that can make anyone behave dishonestly and abruptly swerve, even towards the loved ones that have provided assistance for all problematic outcomes.

The atmospheric lodging from this date has helped me realize that there are some individuals out there who almost seem destined to not have shame and classy morals tendency in their DNA, who love the urgency of being privileged with their emotions even if I have already given shoulders rest and common sense a luxurious room to be used to generate virtue and inner scream that can turn the tide. A personality, which doesn't believe they can possess the ability to create a burnout paradise in someone else's mind.

I have managed to learn about myself that I am capable to filter and hindering the world aspects as long as there are no individuals that believe that being a black sheep is necessary to gain satisfaction and a greater timeline in youth. I have learned that there are some individuals out there who tend to accept the idea of exhibiting fun and muttering to avoid flammable illusions and countering dialogues.

At this point, for some reason, somehow...this special date of mine has made me come across many odd nuclear family surprises and arcane questions that no one could think of, which tend to embody meetings and discourse that believe the regular constant response towards personal inconsistency is only able to lightly scrape the mental walls of those who close to us. A particularly unwelcome apathetic situation, which so far has never achieved something greater in front of my view besides grooming someone else to enter the vortex of debauchery and self-destruct.

I am curious to know...what did I do that made all these hazardous presences and insincere promises want me at the date where I was supposed to feel safe to undergo my own cosmic bonding and fighting with mundane impurities?. What kind of damaging extent and bland point do I need to experience to make people believe that every person needs at least a day in life where they can be affectionate with rectitude and free from chaotic energy that comes from a dying star?.