complicated; jonah marais {COMPLETED}

31. gone

Jonah's pov

My mom wakes me up with an envelope in her hands, she hands me it before leaving my room. I let myself wake up a little before opening it, it was 11am already. I read my name on the envelope automatically realising who it's from, my heart raced  as I carefully opens the letter. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't want to what was inside. I pull the letter out, it was delicately folded which only gave me more reasons to know who it was from. I open it revealing a long paragraph all in her handwriting.

Dear jonah,

I've decided that we can't continue this, I know we've been friends for years and now that my secret is finally out..and you don't feel the same. I think it's time, I never wanted to this but this is the only way that will work. Im writing this letter to say goodbye, thank you for all the years of constant fun and happiness, thank you for being such an amazing friend, you've become a big part of my life which is what makes this 100 times harder. I love you so fucking much jonah, so much that I can't do this anymore. I can't continue to be your friend, I can't continue to hurt myself like that. I usually never think of myself and even in this situation I'm not only thinking of myself. The only way to make this easier for me..for the both of us, is to end it all. So this is a goodbye message, I will cherish these memories we've made together, cherish the things you've taught me etc. Maybe years down the line we can reconnect, talk about our lives and how much they've changed, talk about our families and all that stuff. Im sorry it has to end this way but I can't think of any other way, I wish it didn't have to be this way but it is. Nothing will every change if we stay friends, this isn't your fault. Its mine and that's why I'm leaving, that's why I'm writing this letter. This hurts me so much but it would hurt more if I stayed in the sidelines for the rest of my life with you, I don't want to feel that way. A broken heart needs time to heal, you never intentionally hurt me, it was all in my head. So I guess this is the end..no more Lucy and Jonah, no more jo jo and lu. Goodbye jonah, don't completely forget about me. I will always love you:/

~sincerely Lucy

My bottom lip quivers and tears roll down my face, just like that? All of it, gone. She threw us out the window, I didn't want it to end like this. I never want any of it to end. I re read the letter reliving the horror I read before. I got up from my bed and ran, I ran down the stairs and out my front door. The hot afternoon sun and gravel didn't stop me, I ran with tears streaming down my face. She can't leave me, she leave us just like that. She deserves more then me but that doesn't mean she can just throw us away. I still love her, and need her.