Colour Storms: Shawn Mendes ✔️

62

"When I'm done I'll come to you"
Bella Croft

I slept peacefully and I didn't want to think this but I knew it was because I fell asleep in Shawn's arms. I felt secure, all my feelings rushed back to me the minute his hands touched my stomach.

"Ooo breakfast looks amazing" I tell roman. I sit down and Shawn sits beside me filling my plate up when he was done I grabbed the plate and put more in.

"So?" Meg asks. I look up at half way through shoving the hash browns in my mouth.

"Erm..." I finish chewing then put my knife and fork down. "I haven't heard from josh" I say looking down at my food. "Have you guys?" I ask. They all shake their heads apart from Alex.

"Alex?" I ask him. "He said he's busy packing, we're leaving tomorrow" he says sadly.

I nod then continue to eat my feelings away. Shawn placed a hand at my thigh, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against my skin.

"Someone's at the door" Kendall informs me. I snap out of my day dream and shoot up going to the door. Opening it to a tired looking josh.

My eyes scanned his body to see my letter tightly in his fist.

"I don't know Bella, I have so many thoughts running through my mind" he walks past me. I shut the door facing him. "Good ones?" I ask hopefully.

"Bad too" he shakes his head in frustration. "I can't believe this. A baby!" He exclaims. "I'm twenty three Bella, I'm not ready. I wanted a baby after marriage and god knows what my parents will say when I tell them" he begins pacing around.

"I want a baby with someone I love" he mumbles. "I mean I'll be here a hundred percent there's no way I'll abandon this child, if it's mine" he tells me. He stops and his hands rest on his waist.

"You should've been careful Bella" he shakes his head. "I should've but I want this baby josh-"

"How are you going look after it? You're still grieving, you're not well-"

He gets cut off quickly. "Why the fuck are you yelling at her?" Shawn spits walking beside me.

Josh looks Shawn up and down. "She's fine. She's perfectly fine and capable of having a baby" Shawn's voice got louder.

"I understand, she can have the baby. This is just unexpected. I feel uncomfortable knowing this baby might not be mine. I mean i will be here Bella" josh turns to me. "I'll look after the baby I promise, I'm just shocked" he says, his voice calming down.

"I know" I say gently. "And I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen to either of you and I know it's unfair but I'm not asking you to stick around. I will tell you if the baby is yours or Shawn's and what you do after that is up to you" I tell him calmly.

"Bella, I'm leaving for France tomorrow. I'll be back in around two weeks and I'll think. I get it if you're mad or upset with me but I'm not abandoning you or the baby. When I'm back I'll be here whenever you want. Just give me a little time" he sighs.

I completely understand. This was probably a shock to his system.

"Okay" I nod. "If anything happens or if you need me please call, don't hesitate Bella. I know I seem angry but I'm just processing, I'm still a friend" he takes my hand gently.

I nod not being able to talk due to the knot in my throat. "I'll see you when I'm back" he sighs. "Yeah" I nod.

He hugs me tightly then leaves.

"Bells" Shawn sighs. I turn to him and he walks up to me. "We need to talk" he sighs.

"I've forgiven you Shawn. I can't have any negative thoughts in my head, I get bad colour storms and I'm scared it'll hurt the baby" I explain.

"They're not bad thoughts Bella. I just want to talk about that day. I said some things and I want to just talk with you, civilly. I know we talked at the hospital but it's not enough" he tells me.

I just can't get a break can I? Did I really have to talk to him? Someone who claimed they didn't love me after telling me almost everyday?

Yes I forgave him but it can still hurt, knowing those words probably meant nothing to him.

"Fine" I give in. "Just don't yell" I begin walking away. "Where are you going?" He asks.

"To eat. I'm still hungry, then we can talk" I tell him.

I quickly make a plate, again. Roman offers to make more but I told him no. They all gave me a sympathetic look as I took my plate and walked away, going past Shawn.

"Should I come eat with you?" He asks. "When I'm done I'll come to you" I tell him walking away wanting to be alone.

I was dreading this talk. I didn't want to hear that he didn't love me, again.

I didn't want to know what drove him to break us up.

I didn't want to watch his perfect lips move whilst he said the right things.

I didn't want to get lost in his eyes, the ones I love so deeply.