Colour Storms: Shawn Mendes ✔️

61

Bella and the bean x
Bella Croft

"How are you going to tell them?" Meg asks me, we told Kendall and now we were sat in my bed just talking. They were doing an excellent job of stopping me from breaking down after five minutes.

"I can't do it face to face" I shake my head.

"But won't that be the best idea. See how they react?" Kendall asks. "I can't. I've seen Shawn when he's mad and I don't want to see that and josh, he's a boxer and I'm sure he'll get riled up. What if I do this alone? I can do this, can't I?" I look between them and they sent me a sad look.

"I can't can I?" I whimper. "Honey you can I'm sure but they need to know" meg says gently.

"You could write a letter to them" Kendall suggests. "That's how I came out to my family, I wrote my heart out and you could do the same" Kendall rubs my back. "Okay" I nod wiping my tears.

I get up slowly and sit at my desk. "We'll be downstairs Bella" meg walks past squeezing my shoulder.

"Okay baby I can do this" I take my pen and paper.

I'm sorry to be doing this to you, I can't keep this because it's a big thing. I know it's inconvenient and I understand if you run.
I'm having a baby.
Like an actual human being. Being scared is an understatement, I'm petrified.
The baby could be Shawn's/ josh's.
And I'm sorry for this, I feel awful for putting you through this, I can't imagine what you must be thinking.
I'll be okay with the decision you make
I won't let anything happen to my baby so please don't act irrational. Simply stop being in my life.
I'm sorry again, you're young and have plans and this is out of no where but you had to know.
I can do this on my own. I can. I will do the test when the baby is born and I'll tell you the results. I'll be happy with either, I know you're both incredible. I want this baby with my whole heart.
If you don't want this baby I understand.
Again I'm sorry.
Bella and the bean x

A few tears fall down on to the paper but I had no intention of writing the letter again, it was weirdly painful.

I put them in two envelopes, Meg gave the letters to the boys and all I could do was wait. I almost backed out, I refused to give meg the letters, the outcome could be deeply horrifying or just emotions of love. It scared me not knowing.

Meg talked to back into the right state of mind and now I had no control.

I just curled up in my bed. A hand on my stomach.

If it was josh's baby, the baby would have beautiful caramel skin and light curly hair, charming green eyes. Story's on hold forever, josh was an excellent story teller. The baby would try it's best and be so incredibly charming.

Where as with Shawn, heavenly milky skin, big green eyes, gorgeous soft curls. Shawn was caring and gentle, my baby would be blessed.

I caught myself hiccuping now with how much I was crying. I lifted the covers and went under thinking no one would be able to hear my sobs.

"Can I come in?" The voice spoke. I didn't reply and the door clicked open. I heard rustling then the covers got lifted up gently. The bid dipped and two arms wrapped around me securely, hands going straight to my stomach.

My body was shaking because of my cries. "Shh Shh don't be scared" a voice so gentle.

For around five minutes it was silent. "The letter was written beautifully"

I sit up and he stays beside me pulling up a bag from the side.

He reaches inside the bag. The most perfect white tulips, a large tub of cookie dough ice cream, two spoons, mango ice cream and strawberries.

"I'm here for you and the baby bells" I look up at him and he leans down kissing my cheek gently. He takes my hand between us.

"I need you Shawn" I whisper resting my head on his shoulder. "And I'm here even if the baby isn't mine I'm not leaving" he rests his head on mine.