Pokeley - Slumptacion

[forty two] how to 'not' get into heaven

"Well nevermind, you dumb ass fuck if you hoping that." I answered. Stokeley started to cough.

"I don't think that was the best thing to say, Jahseh."

I smiled up at him and kissed his cheek. "Don't be scared of his loose booty ass. He ain't gon do shit anyways."

"Are you sure? He looks pretty angry to me." Stokes scrunched up his nose.

I waved him off. "Not a damn thing. He's just as soft as you are. You could probably windmill that nigga and he'd cry."

We both snickered.

"I'm still here, and I can hear y'all." My dad stomped his foot.

"Oh yeah. You can leave now. I'm fine. You don't have to worry."

"That's not- look, didn't I tell that you weren't allowed to engage in sexual activities? I remember having a long talk with you about that." He rubbed his temples.

"I remember not listening while you were giving me that talk. It's too late anyways, I've already had my-"

"Don't. You. Dare. Finish. That. Sentence. Jahseh." Both my dad and Stokeley said at the same time.

"Okay Daddy." I responded with a smirk.

"Thank you for listening." My dad sighed.

"I wasn't talking to you." I quipped.

"Wait, then who-"

"Nevermind. Dad, go home." I hopped out of Stokeley's lap and grabbed my dad's arm to lift him off of the couch.

He grabbed the sleeve of Stokeley's hoodie that was hanging loosely from my arm. "Jah. You broke one of my rules."

"I don't care. I'll come and visit you on your birthday next week, then we can talk. Okay, now go home and tell Geneva that I hate her bitch ass." I shoved him towards the door.

"But-"

I popped his forehead. "Leave!"

He popped mine back. "Don't hit me."

I popped him again. "No you."

We kept going back and forth. The door behind us flew open.

"We're back- what is going on?" Regina asked, placing her yoga bag on the floor.

"Move! I gotta shit! I been holding in this turd all damn day." Rodney pushed past all three of us and scurried up the stairs to the bathroom. I heard the door slam shut.

"That boy Rodney...where did I go wrong with that one?" My dad mumbled.

"Ion know. I really don't." I sighed.

"Uh, yeah I agree, but who the hell are you?" Regina piped up.

"Ma, that's Jahseh's dad." Stokeley said from the couch. He had his head in his hands.

"Oh, so you the deadbeat ass nigga that the poor boy be talking about?" My momma squared up.

"Ma. Please." Stokeley pleaded.

"Nah fuck that, its one thing that I can't stand and that's a no good ass, deadbeat ass, limp dick ass nigga. You gotta leave." She said, putting her hands down.

"I see you're doing well Regina. Your health has increased, that's good for the child." My father started to to stare at her growing belly.

He earned a slap for that. "You don't know shit about my health. Now leave before I call Cleo and we take turns stomping yo ass out on my lawn."

He held up both hands in defeat. "I'm leaving, don't worry. I was just checking on my son."

"And I said I was fine. Now go, I'll talk to you soon." I pushed him towards the door.

He gave Stokeley a dirty glare before he left.

I heard Stokeley let out a nervous chuckle. "Well, that was fun."

"Yeah." I nodded in agreement. I walked back over to the couch and plopped down next to him.

Regina let out a whistle. "Oh, y'all nasty."

Stokeley and I sat up. "What?"

She cackled. "Really? You thought that I wouldn't notice? Jah, it looked like you were attacked by a leech. And I saw you limping a little bit."

I ain't even deny it. I just threw my hands up. "Yep. You got us."

"Oooh my boy is a man now!" She rushed over and squeezed Stokeley's cheeks.

"Ma, please stop." He tried to pry her hands off of his face.

"Nigga, you better not touch my hands. Now, tell me,how was it? Did y'all use protection? Dick you suck his dick? I heard that doggy style-"

"Ma!" Stokeley cut her off.

"Whew, Miss Regina it was great. Let me tell you, I didn't think that he would be packing like that, I nearly died." I breathed out dramatically.

"I think I'm gonna faint." Stokeley added.

Regina squealed. "He gets that barbarian dick from his daddy. It's the reason I keep trying to make our marriage work, I can't stand the nigga."

"And I can't stand yo ass either." Rodney added from the top of the stairs.

"Shut yo shitty ass up! I outta beat yo ass for farting in that lady office, had it smelling like hemorrhoids!" Regina snapped back.

I felt a hand grab my hoodie collar and yank me off of the couch.

"We're going back upstairs." Stokes mumbled. Regina and Rodney kept arguing as we both left.

"Stanky booty bitch, that's why you wear diapers now!"

"Nigga fuck you I don't need diapers. Yo booty hair done probably burned off with them atomic ass farts."

"Yo nose hair probably burned off with that hot ass, stank ass breath that you be blowing out."

"Fuck you, Rodney!"

"Fuck you too, hoe!"

-JADA