Him and I

Chapter 32: I'm sorry

Happy Reading:) I hope you guys like this chapter. The second half is my favourite part.

___________________________

Derina's POV-

"Mason saw me kissing him! It's a big deal Jess." I shouted. I was sitting in the rooms allotted to the models walking for the show. The make-up artist was working on my hair.

"It doesn't matter. I wanted to tell you someth-"

"Jessica, how can it not matter? You should pay attention to what I'm saying."

"I'll talk to you later." She got up and walked out of the room. That was weird because Jess is never so uninterested in matters like these.

I was nervous tonight. I don't know, I was walking after a long time. There was gonna be everyone to see me. It's kind of weird, all eyes are on you while you walk. I've never felt self conscious. But in that moment, I do.

I was already wearing the dress I had to walk in. Daniel's Mom is really good with all this. I love her designs.

_________________

The show had started. All the models were standing on their positions. Music was playing. There were non stop claps.

Ashley was supposed to walk before me. When she walked and came back, I started walking. I was looking at all the audience. I saw Daniel. I saw Jess and Nathan, Aiden. Kyra was not there. Nick was missing. And then I saw Mason. He was smiling. And in that moment I really wanted to stop and just look at him.

I just didn't want to accept the fact that we were so wrong for each other and still so right together.

I walked to the front and stopped for some seconds and then turned and walked back. I was the showstopper so I walked back and Dan's Mom stood there so I got her in the front. Everyone was applauding. By the look at the audience and all, the show was probably a hit. There was photographers everywhere. I was sure that our photos were gonna be all over.

The show was over and then we all changed and walked to the hall where there was the success party.

_________________

"Derina, you didn't even tell me that you were taking a part in all this." My Mom said to me. She was holding a glass of champagne. Looking as wonderful as ever.

"If you haven't noticed, we don't talk anymore." I said to her and started to walk away but she didn't let me.

"Ever since your Dad's death, you've become cold and inconsiderate. You don't care about anybody else but yourself."

"Really? I'm sorry I wasn't here when you were drowning in alcohol Mom. I wasn't here because I was not able to handle myself."

"You were always like that Derina. Selfish. You always like to talk about your own problems. You didn't think once, about how I'll handle myself here. All alone. You are the reason your Dad was rude to you, you are the reason your Grandma left you."

"You don't even know what you're talking about Mom. And you don't even know half the things about me and Dad. Don't you dare say that I am selfish. I've always thought about you, if you would be able to handle the pain or not. I kept so many secrets. There was burden on me for so many years. Do you know? Dad had an affair. I'm not sure whether I should say an affair or affairs." I was sure tears were running down my face. My Mom's face paled. She left my arm and took a step back. Yeah she was shocked. But she didn't have a right to be so mean. I was never selfish when it came to her. I just couldn't see her that broken, I was tired of feeling helpless. And so I went to New York.