Frost bite - Z.M (Book 3, Cold trilogy)

Chapter 14 - Unforgiven.

Is she that desperate for a baby that she has to go behind my back and do such a thing?

If she wants one so badly, why won't she just talk to me about it?!

I will myself to keep my eyes close as her hands begin to travel down my torso and back up every few seconds.

"What's wrong?" She asks quietly almost as if she's asking herself but I know it's towards me, obviously.

"It's been a long day." I murmur.

Her hand sneaks under my shirt to rest against my chest and much to my acceptance, my heart rate fails to comply a steady beat and I sigh as I finally open my eyes to look up at her concerned gaze.

"Are you sure it was Amber, Why would she come up here?!"

"Because we were in here earlier. I had to grab something up here and you know Amber. She's always been a curious one."

I roll my eyes. "She's annoying."

"She's my friend."

I sigh. "Whatever."

I don't mean to, but when I sit up, I push Victoria off me and walk over to my blazer to grab the Marlborough cigarettes out from the inside pocket.

"She was joking you know." Victoria breaks the silence from behind me and I face her as I place one between my lips.

I frown. I don't want to talk about her right now. She pisses me off.

"I don't care." I shrug,

Victoria frowns as I grab my lighter and walk towards the balcony door.

"It looks like you do. Something's wrong." She shrugs.

"Victoria! There's nothing wrong." I roll my eyes and light the end of my cigarette, but I'm surprised when she takes it out of my mouth and places it between hers.

She takes a small drag, and blows the smoke away from my face and grabs my arm to wrap it around her waist and repeats with my other. I tighten my grip around her waist as she steps forward again, closing the small distance up between is as she takes another drag, inhaling more of the toxic stuff into her petite body before blowing directly in my face.

As hot as she looks smoking, I don't want her too. It's a filthy habit and I just happen to own it.

"You shouldn't be smoking." I murmur as I take it from her grasp and place it between my lips. I inhale and feel my body slowly calming down.

"Tell me what's wrong? You've never smoked in front of me before."

I open the door and toss out the left over of cigarette after finishing it off and pull Victoria in a hug. I know she's confused, but I don't want to see her shocked or sympathetic gaze. I don't need pity for something that happened when I couldn't fend for myself.

"Tell me."

I sigh. "I want too, but. It's hard."

"Try." She whispers.

I take a deep breath and hold her closer.

"During my down episodes, I seem to always go back to the days when I was living with my birth father." She tries to pull away to look at my face but I hold her still and she complies after a while. "He was a horrible man when my mother died. He changed and I'm afraid that's what will happen to me."

I finally allow Victoria to pull away and her gaze is filled with worry and anguish. I look down.

"I don't want your pity please. I just-" I pause. "I just wanted to tell you."