Chapter 8 - Symptoms

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Chapter 8

For the first time in a while, I slept longer than usual, which is an achievement for me.

Same thing goes for Victoria. She was sound asleep - well I hope - next to me.

It was probably the best nights sleep I've had in a very long time and because I'm leaving for Ireland at midday, I'm staying in with Victoria.

"It's really weird seeing you still in bed." Victoria comments and I look down at her with a smirk on my face. She merely just shies away, but I'm just glad she's this close to me.

Letting her take control is going to be frustrating, but if it's gaining her confidence towards me again, I'll do it.

Anything to get her back.

"Would you rather me go to work?" I question.

She wraps her arm around my waist and shakes her head. "No. Stay." Victoria scowls.

"I am, I am." I reassure.

She sighs quietly. "Are you going to take the antidepressants at all?"

I frown and shift from under her. Is she trying to kill the mood.

"No."

"Please, try. Give it a month." She persuades.

I shake my head as I focus my gaze on the flat screen at the end of the bed. "I don't know."

"For me?" Blackmail! "It'll help you."

I sigh and grab my phone. "How do we even know it'll work? I might take Emma's advice and search up what bipolar really is."

"You don't know what it is?" Victoria raises an eyebrow as I look down at her.

"I know what it is. But there's more to it? There always is." I shrug.

Dr Caldur tried explaining to me, but I wasn't exactly listening.

She chuckles. "Okay. Go on the ."

I frown and google, bipolar.

With Victoria browsing over me, I skim read through some articles and come to one that seems to be relative.

"Here's one-"

"Read it." Victoria smiles, cutting me off.

"Out loud?" I say confused.

She nods. "I like hearing your voice."

After a moment of hesitation. I sigh quietly and begin to read. "Bipolar disorder, also known by its older name 'manic depression.'

Depression?!

"Is a mental disorder that is characterized by serious mood swings. A person with bipolar disorder experiences alternating "highs" (what clinicians call "mania") and "lows" (also known as depression). Both the manic and depressive periods can be brief, from just a few hours to a few days, or longer, lasting up to several weeks or even months. The periods of mania and depression vary from person to person - many people may only experience very brief periods of these intense moods, and may not even be aware that they have bipolar disorder."

"See. You're not insane." Victoria reassures.

I frown momentarily and shake her comment off as I continue.

"A manic episode is characterized by extreme happiness, extreme irritability, hyperactivity, little need for sleep and/or racing thoughts, which may lead to rapid speech."

I pause and realise that does sound a little like me.

"A depressive episode is characterized by extreme sadness, lack of energy or interest in things, an inability to enjoy normally pleasurable activities and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. On average, someone with bipolar disorder may have up to three years of normal mood between episodes of mania or depression." I stop and face Victoria.

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