We've been through this before and still, my heart doesn't stop beating in my chest as I see the horror, the disgust, the confusion and the worry in his gaze as it flickers down to my stomach.

"But- bu-" Zayn blinks rapidly and shakes his head. "You can't be?!"

I clutch my chest as if it could stop my heart from beating so fast. My hand is shaking. I've been wanting to be pregnant for a while now.

Ever since I lost my first little peanut, it's almost like a need.

But now that I am, I'm scared of what Zayn will do.

Like I said before, we've been down this road, and it's a road I don't want to go down again.

His mouth is open but he can't say anything.


Zayn holds up his hand to silence me and I immediately shut my mouth.

"I- I need some air." He says sternly before walking out of the bathroom.

I drop the pregnancy test in the basin and bury my face in my hands as the thought dawns on me. My hand instinctively lays over my stomach as I look up in the mirror.

I had noticed my skin was a lot more fresh than usual. I always thought it was from Hamilton island but that was five weeks ago.

My hair is soft and my eating habits are changing. I should have known. I was even vomiting the other day but I was trying to avoid this.

We're so happy now, I don't want Zayn to be angry.

Swallowing down the bile in my throat, I walk out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to see the sliding door open.

The smell of cigarettes consumes me as I walk out into the balcony to find Zayn leaning over the rails with his head buried in his hands.

I want to touch him, reassure him, calm him down, I don't know anything that'll comfort him.

"Zayn?" I swallow as he straightens his posture and faces me over his shoulder.

"What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

I roll my eyes. "That's the last thing on my mind right now."

Zayn sighs and looks down before approaching me.

"I can't have a baby right now Victoria." He shakes his head. "We're not ready. I mean you've just took Java hut under your wing, my business is growing. I mean we barely have any time for each other anymore because we're so busy."

I shake my head. No.

I'm not having an abortion or putting my baby up for adoption! No!

"We can do this Zayn! It's in nine months, it's not like I'm giving birth tomorrow. A lot can happen in nine months."

"I'm not ready!" Zayn says.

"You have me, remember that."

Zayn pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.

I know he's losing his self control. I should shut my fat mouth before he loses it.

"We can do this."

"I don't want a baby!" Zayn blanches.

"You maybe ready. But I'm not. All I wanted right now was you. In the future I wanted kids yes, but not right now!"

I step back from him slightly as his self control wavers.

"I don't want to lose another baby." I murmur. "You might have a change of heart later on."

Frost bite - Z.M (Book 3, Cold trilogy)Read this story for FREE!