Amyplier One Shots [completed]

stay.

for your safety and things of such, here are warnings:

thoughts of suicide, and bad thoughts in general. Self shaming, something like that.

You may choose to skip this chapter until i upload again and that is perfectly fine.
This chapter is in no way afflicted with how /i/ feel, it's just made for the purpose of reading and entertainment, okay? okay.

Before I continue, I want to let you know you're not alone and that there are people who can and will help you! Even I'm here for you.

Suicide is never the answer. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

You are loved and you are worth it.

Thank you and continue with caution.

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i was waiting for the right moment, i was just waiting until the right time. how would i know it was the right time? i just would.

i wasn't everyone's favourite 28 year old youtuber male, no, i actually got a lot of hate believe it or not. some said my face was too square, or my neck was too big or i was too short, or i was even fat.

and you know what? i believed it. i believed it all, however, my girlfriend, tried to tell me it was just haters, i should ignore them, but, i can't, their words always linger in the back of my mind. i can't help it.

i was thinking of finally ending it all, my girlfriend was currently at the store so if i did it quickly, i'd do it before she would be home.

i pushed myself to stand up, wobbling as i struggled to gain balance, i had lost a lot of weight, so, now they can't call me fat. ..i starved myself, i'd eat around my girlfriend but force myself to throw it up later, she never knew. i just ate in front of her so she'd be happy.

i honestly don't know why she deals with me, i'm a lazy cunt who can't do anything right.

Mark Fischbach, depressing piece of shit at age 28. you'd think the youtube life was all fun and games. it's not, the internet is a cruel world and some times i think of just slicing my goddamn neck, but, something makes me stay. someone makes me stay. makes me feel like i mean something, like i'm not what i tell myself, but yet, tells me i'm the complete opposite. my girlfriend, Amy.

she was the love of my life, so beautiful and vibrant, she brought happiness everywhere she went. and i loved that about her.

Amy was the only reason i hadn't bumped off a building yet.

as i walked out the bedroom, i walked to the bathroom to look at myself, i looked fucking disgusting. i had bags under my eyes, my hair was a mess and i needed to trim my newly grown beard. Felix would thing i'm trying to steal his look. i managed a small half-hearted chuckle at the thought but that small bit of happiness didn't last long.

as i looked down to pick up my razor, i stared at it, sighing, slowly turning it on and beginning to trim the sides of my face and under my neck.

after taking my time to get all that i wanted off, i shaved the sides of my head, not messing the hair on top of my head, just the sides. as i finished, i set the razor down and grabbed a hand towel, wipping my face and all the hair off of me.

as i put the towel down, i looked in the mirror to see if that helped, and to my surprise, i didn't look as bad, now all i needed was maybe a shower and some sleep.

as i looked over to the hallway i saw Amy walking up the stairs, "Hey, Markimoo, doing good?" i shrugged, "Managed a shave. How do i look?" i teased, "You look just fine, love." she responded, her voice so genuine and soft as she did. Amy leaned over and kissed me and instead of letting her pull away, i held her close to me, returning her kiss whilst pulling her into a soft embrace, i probably didn't smell the best and i probably still didn't look as good as i was a few minutes ago, but, i wanted to show her that i loved her and appreciated all that she did for me. slowly, she pulled away, pecking my lips one last time, "i need to get groceries, and put them up, then we can cuddle on the couch and watch some Disney movies, okay?" i felt a smile tug at my lips, nodding as she smiled in return.

she always knew what to do and say, she made me forget all the things the people said and would replace them with the loving and nice comments i'd manage to get, she made me stay. she made me want to stay. stay with her.

maybe i could get better, for her.
maybe i could stay, for her.

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i hope that if you made it through this chapter, you do know that you're not alone.

you may not have a significant other, but, you have friends who are willing to help, including myself. so please, think before trying to harm yourself or anything as such.

i love you. and, you are worth it.

i hope you have a good day/night/evening/afternoon.

-sam 💕