My Bad Girl Ways

Chapter 75

2 1/2 months later

It's been two months and a half since he broke up with me.

Since that day all I've done is go to school and come straight back home Monday through Friday. On the weekends I don't go out no matter how much my friends beg me to.

I've been off house arrest and probation a month ago. I'm ahead in credits and am set to graduate from Yerba Buena in two weeks with my class.

School work is the only thing that keeps my mind off from a certain someone his name shall not be mentioned.

At school I don't socialize like I used to which has all of my friends worried since I'm not being myself.

Aiden and I have gotten a lot closer as friends. He's honestly one of my best friends.

As for Ray he's been there every single day just making sure I'm alright which I appreciate. He's really stepped up.

My mother is always on my back constantly checking up on me and always takes me out on the weekends by force.

We have became a lot closer than ever and I actually tell her everything now.

However I'm still broken inside. All I do is think about him.

Everyone keeps telling me that time heals all wounds, but no one can tell me what I'm suppose to do right now. Right now I can't sleep. It's right now that I can't eat. Right now I still hear his voice and sense his presence even though I know he's not here. Right now all I seem to do is cry. I know all about time and wounds healing, but even if I had all the time in the world, I still don't know what to do with all this hurt right now.

Knock knock

"Gia stop staring out at the damn window already!", Lulu barges into my room.

"I don't feel like going out, so your wasting your time", I mutter.

"I miss my best friend! It's been two and a half whole months Gia you can't be this way any longer", she sighs.

I do feel bad for not being a good friend to Lulu and the rest lately, but it's hard I have no energy for anything.

"I'm sorry", I huff.

"No more sorries! This has to stop!", Lulu cuffs my chin making me look directly at her.

"I-I can't it still fucking hurts Lulu! He's always on my mind haunting me. I miss him so much, I miss his smile, his laugh, his jokes, his smirks, his winks, his kisses, his body heat, his presence, his voice, I miss everything!", I splutter tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I know Gia that's why as your best friend let me help you get through this", her voice cracks her brown eyes now a glossy sheen.

"Please help me", I sniffle.

"I will", she reassures me.

"Lulu?", I mumble between sobs.

"Yes?"

"Am I not lovable?", I croak out.

"Gia stop it right there! Don't you ever think that! Your fucking perfect, beautiful, intelligent, fierce, brave, strong, loving, kind, and your heart is gold your one in a lifetime kind of girl!", Lulu firmly responds as she pulls me into a tight hug.

I hug her back.

Lulu pulls back and cuffs my cheeks with both of her tiny hands.

"He's going to be sorry he lost you, so stop worrying. Forget the past, forget the pain and remember what an incredible woman you are", Lulu truthfully says.

"Thank you Lulu for your kind words"

"Which I truly mean.. sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows", she cuts me off.

Lulu is right, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. He broke up with me why should I be putting myself in a cup full of water? I gave him everything I possibly could offer, I loved him unconditionally, I gave him all of me, I stood by him knowing what he was involved in, I was a good girlfriend to him.

While I'm tearing myself apart and being depressed locking myself away from the world. I bet he's not even thinking of me or how I'm hurting.

"At the end of the day, you can either focus on what's tearing you apart, or you can focus on what's keeping you together", a familiar deep voice chirps in from behind Lulu and I.

I snap my head back seeing those genuine ocean blue eyes.

Aiden

Suddenly without thinking I stand up from my bed and bolt towards Aiden giving him a tight hug.

"You guys are absolutely right! I'm so sorry for being M.I.A", I say pulling back from the hug to look at Aiden and Lulu.

Out of the blue my door opens and all of my friends including Ray step inside. My room now is full of loved ones.

Tears fly down again.

"Is having us all here making you sad?", Ray chirps as he pulls me in for a hug.

"No on the contrary it makes me happy.. these tears are from pure happiness something I haven't felt in awhile.. Thank you all for being here for me", I sniffle a huge smile appearing on my face.

"We're all best friends forever through thick and thin", Jesiah preaches causing all of us to chuckle.

These people right here in this exact moment including my mom of course are the ones that most matter and are what I should be taking into consideration.

I am loved by many. I am not alone. These people could just live their lives and not care about what I'm doing or going through, but here they are making time for me showing me I'm a missing part of their lives and they desperately need me back.

In this very moment, I will stop being this depressed sad crying girl. I've been these past two and half months.

I'm done with being this way only torturing myself.

Enough is enough

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

Well I'm ready to become stronger than ever.

From this day forward I will only keep walking forward never looking back.