Alexa

May Already

It's crazy to think about time and how it works. It can go slow or fast. In some cases, it can go super slow or super fast. Time is a miraculous thing to deal with because you might never know where it can go. 

It has been about four months since my mother gave birth to the twins and about a week until I give birth to mine. I am so excited to meet my the peanut that Jake and I made. Jake has been crying these past few days because he's scared that he will not be a good father. 

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Flashback - 2 months ago

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"I don't think I will be a good father. I don't know where this is coming from but I just feel like I won't be a good father," he says thoughtlessly.

"What? What makes you think you won't be a good dad to our daughter?" I ask him.

"I don't know, I just feel like I won't. I think it's because I am scared of losing my anger around her when she is born. I don't want to scare her in any way." He says honestly.

"Hey, it's okay. I know you will be an amazing father to our baby. Yes, you might lose your anger at times but I think it will be for the best. Just breathe honey. It will be okay. We will be amazing parents to her and her future siblings. Just think about the future and her getting her first boyfriend." I tell him while trying to stifle my laughter. 

"Hold up. Who said she would be getting a boyfriend? Even when she grows up, she will not have a boyfriend. She is too young and she is my princess." He says as he blushes.

"Well, that's my point. She's your princess and you saying all of that just shows you will be an amazing father. Now, enough about not being an amazing father. Let us go lay down in bed, and spend all day cuddling and watching movies. No intimacy, nothing like that. Just chill and relax." I tell as he sighs sadly about the 'no intimate' part.

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Flashback ends

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Scratch that, I think my water just broke. 

"Jake, I think it's time. My water just broke. Either call an ambulance or drive me there. Your choice." I yell to him from the living room.

"Uh, oh my gosh. The baby is coming. Okay, I will call an ambulance. Hang tight sweetheart." He says as he dials the emergency number.

'Okay, it's okay Alexa. You got this. Just breathe like mom taught you. Don't panic, everything will be okay.' I tell myself silently. 

"Okay baby, they are on the way and so is everyone else. I called them after I got off the phone will the ambulance people." He says as we hear sirens pull up to the house.

They come in with a gurney for me to lay on and when I do, they start strapping me to it and rolling me out with Jake following right behind us. As soon as I am in, so is Jake. They waste no time in starting up the ambulance and driving off. I hear Jakes's phone ring and automatically know that it can only be one of two people. One, my mother, and two, Hera.

Am I ready to give and deal with that pain, fuck no but I have to do it to bring my daughter into this cruel messed-up world. I just know that it will all be worth it in the end because Jake and I can finally have our own little family. It wasn't exactly talked about but we knew that from the moment we found out I was pregnant, we were determined to do this. 

We have had our ups and downs but we are stronger than what we let on, mentally, emotionally, verbally, and physically. All that matters is that we finally have happiness with our daughter. Our perfect baby girl.