My diary 2

15.5.22

i didn't really do anything today..
i stayed in and watched the football,
got some wax from an old candle,
found out what those flowers are.

yeah so not much. tomorrow my mum says she'll give me stuff to sell on ebay so i can make something that way too. later in the week i'll go to my grandmas again

i found this website full of really nice looking clothes and i'm so so inclined to buy everything. i'd normally only buy clothes to show off on my instagram but now of course i can't do that. i'd probably get like 20 likes max per post. but still i'll buy them to show off. i don't really go to anywhere to look nice at all
of course i don't have an ego or anything it's just that it was the only time people interacted with me on a mass scale showing their support and seeing that i looked good. (or seeing me thinking i look good) which made me confident

like i don't dress nice for jake. i dress in a vest, jogging bottoms and just the plain me. whereas if i was going to meet my grandmas friends for example i'd wear something fashionable

so what do i wanna buy?
for some reason i want a bb gun. is that what they're called? like shooting plastic balls out for fun you know

i wanna buy those clothes obviously, it's a sleeveless jumper? is that what you call them? or a patterned turtleneck. hmmm

well i've already bought some fishing bait. i need fishing line and a hook now. because i've found out you can literally just fish with a stick. you don't need a mf £2000 fishing rod
i'd catch it and once it's hooked i'd collect the fish in the net i got

i wanna explain what i do with my money and why i'm conscious with it etc.
so ever since my old mate told me he had like 2k when he was like 11 or 12 i got jealous so i've been conscious with how i spend my money. like i don't pay for any subscription as my mum does it all for me, im lucky in that aspect
so seeming as i don't HAVE to spend it too i like to save it and literally not spend it on anything.. except
i have two bank accounts
one where i save the fuck out of every last penny and never withdraw (excluding the time where my mum forced to me take £100 to pay for my phone) but yes it's been building up for a few years now.
and another account where i spend it all in a day every 7 months on clothes online.

i normally put all my birthday and Christmas money into my savings. as well as my job all what i earned there goes in there.
but the money my grandma gives me weekly i put into my spending so it's much less than my savings

so what am i saving up for?
you never know i could lose my parents and be homeless, could struggle in the future maybe and need something to fall back on, my holiday to bermuda!!! or just to make me feel good

so in total i'm taking like £39 a week which is 2k a year. not where i wanna be at all.
if i get my act together and start selling stuff on ebay like selling bits here and there or maybe a candle, and go to work at my grandmas a lot more i could be at £5k a year

if i was to take my business seriously it would be over 10k
i earned more in my job than i had done for many many many months previously and it really put me into good stead but of course i'm struggling to find a job now and i don't wanna go back with da person

i'll be okay.
even if i don't get a job or have a successful life in terms of making a stable income i'll always have my bank account around and be able to find a way to live. like moving abroad and stealing from fruit farms etc. or being a bandit and stealing food to live while having my little base in some woods hidden away. or underground. but the words becoming so much more industrialised.. so i guess i'll have to choose wisely. even then i'll only live another 80 years tops so it won't matter too much

you know i could probably live off the SR for a month straight. in the summer the many berry trees there will have berries as well as the fish there too. and of course the water which can be sterilised. yeah the food isn't in good supply though so that's why i say a month max.

i think this two night camping thing me and jake are likely to do will help me test if i can live in the wild day after day.
we're gonna take lots of monster cans and sweets so it's not really realistic. but it's out in the elements nonetheless and we'll have to clean ourselves using the wild too (SR)

i think what i'm most excited about in that trip is me spending all the time with jake. as well as being in the wild because that's boyish and fun. but catching the carp too, that's an adventure in itself.

o nyoooo it's started to rain and now it's lightning and thundering

goodnight