Soul not Included

Chapter 75

                                                                                             Marina

Dad didn't leave his room that night. I made sure of it by staying up until the music died and his snoring reached my ears. By that time it was two in the morning and i was in the middle of lining my sketches that I stayed up later until i finished cleaning that up and proceeded to color.

The next night was much the same. The day proceeded as usual with limited interactions, cleaning and constant concern as to who is where at all times. I didn't care what everyone was doing or where as long as no problems were occurring. And as night progressed Abbey came to my room for a bit to talk to me about me finding a job that wasn't online. Not because she didn't believe that it was a good job for me but because apparently dad was complaining to her about me being in my room all day. Which is bullshit.

I just always went out to do everything when he wasn't out and about and for every other moment I was in my room working and listening to everyone, acting like some high strung house security. The complaint wasn't only my dad apparently. My mom went to Abbey to say the same thing. She only saw me once yesterday and not at all the day before that.

"It's not my fault," i growled. "That i leave my room... when everyone is in theirs."

Abbey rolled her eyes. "I know you don't like them but  you can't always be in here."

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know that the house cleans itself."

"Don't start fighting," she scolded. "They just want to see you more."

"And do what?" I asked. "Insult me once and then ignore me for the rest of the day? Oh yeah, totally worth the family bonding time."

"You promised you'll try."

"I promised no such thing."

"They're our parents, Mari."

"And?" I asked.

She scoffed frustrated. "What's wrong with you, dude? Seriously? I'm trying to make this work. Why can't you do the same!"

"Because there is nothing capable of fixing it!" I gestured to the room next to me. "There's nothing, nothing, capable of fixing that man!"

She crossed her arms, "He's at least trying."

I nodded. "Sure, he lets us answer the door and phones now. He's trying so hard."

"He's trying to make amends, Mari. In order for him to do that, you have to let him in."

For Abbey I had moved away from what I could only consider a haven. My brother didn't hover when I got moody. He didn't check if I was okay... it might seem mean to others but he didn't treat me like he was afraid I'd break. We were both there. Still living and he trusted me enough to pick myself back up when I was down. All he would do is dangle a rope for me to grab and let me be the one to choose if I was ready to take it or not. 

I appreciated that space.

Abbey hovered. She would check on me. She would always ask questions. I didn't hate it but I felt forced to get well faster. So... to have her ask this of me... after what I already gave up for her, maybe she doesn't grasp just how big of a decision i had made, it was too much.

"I'll try," i said.

"If he says anything you don't like just ignore him or tell me and I'll scold him for you but don't stay pent up in here. We worry, you know.."

"Sure."

I ate with them in the dining room and talked to them about the work I was doing online. Which didn't stay the topic of conversation for long. My mother interrupted to talk about her sisters over in El Salvador that was giving her a hard time.