Soul not Included

Chapter 41

Simon visited me later in the night. He leapt through the window and sprawled onto the bed to occupy the empty space. I hadn't been asleep yet. I had my Anne Rice books sprawled open and jotting down abilities he had and some features of his face or usual clothing styles. I was practically driving myself mad trying to figure it out even after i told myself i shouldn't. 

The dress was more or less complete all i needed was to order fake armor for it but i didn't know if i should at this point. So after i had come back in, of course the only thing i can think about was the stupid note.

"I finally come to see you and you're not jumping into my arms? What is the world coming to." He sighed from the bed.

"You finally come to see me again and you expect me to jump into your arms? The audacity."

Simon came to stand behind my chair. He leaned down against my back and leaned his head onto my shoulder to read what i had been writing. He mumbled the words as he read and slipped the pen out of my hands.

"Working on fan fiction?"

I rolled my eyes, "sure."

"You're mad?"

"No."

Simon buried his face into my hair. "You sure?"

"Can you maybe... not." I grumbled and turned to face him. His face so close that our noses almost touched. "I'm seriously trying to focus on something." 

Simon rolled his head with a long sigh. He turned my chair around and lifted me off it and plopped me onto the bed. He dropped next to me and held me like he had before. My back to him. His arms around me. Our legs tangled. 

"Augie used his power out of his own volition yesterday. If you were wondering about the blood. Theo's phone broke after he was slammed onto the floor and i have Augie's. Don't worry. They're fine."  I wanted to get up to look at him but he didn't budge. I couldn't move. He brushed some hair out of his way, "the text was a good bye message. He met the devil that night. Normally when you have a brush with the devil you don't expect to live."

"Is that really it though."

Simon shrugged. "Does it matter? He's fine and he found what he was looking for. He won't be going back."

I felt suddenly upset and stupid.  I felt useless. I felt trapped. Since coming back there wasn't anything that i was truly allowed to do. Being grounded aside, a forgivable prison, i was trapped by the blade hanging over my head. Everything made worst by the overprotective ness of the Cullens. I was desperate to do something that I'm looking for clues where there isn't any. 

It's frustrating.

"I need to do something. This isn't like me. I can't just sit here," I said. Simon mumbled under his breath as a response, his lips dangerously close to my neck. I struggled to turn around. He finally gave way and allowed me to face him. "I talked to Edward and the pack about myself..."

"Desperate for attention are you?" Simon said.

"Is that what I'm doing?"

"Or are you giving up? Staying as Bella that is..."

I moved myself closer until our bodied were pressed together. He inhaled sharply and held his breath. I moved his hands down to my waist, my mind replaying Edwards words from earlier today. I brushed back the translucent hair glittering like stars when the lights hits it just right, "i had this notion in my head when I came back... that i was going to say damn it all to the world and act upon my wants and needs..."

Simon exhaled slowly, his nails slowly and gently digging into my skin, "and?"

And... i stopped myself. And what? Do i continue to ramble about things he's already aware of. I shake my head. "... you're just trying to get me to ask you."