Soul not Included

Chapter 15

The days passed quickly. I decided to take my bike for the rest of the week not comfortable with getting into the car with Simon or Augie after the silent treatment. Things like that struck too personally for me to pretend that it didn't happen right away. I'll get over it once i got lonely.

Thursday i cleared up the rumor with Jessica that i was in fact not dating Simon and i only thought it was funny that she thought that. She got upset but laughed it off pretty quickly. Eventually the rest of the school will figure it out. Simon and Augie were absent that day. Edward Cullen and I had a reasonable and docile conversation where he didn't aggravate me and i didn't aggravate him. It was a good moment in my otherwise frustrating day. And during PE i was granted permission to run around the school gym alone. It began to drizzle a bit but i didn't care about that. I slipped and scraped up my knee, thats fine. 

Friday was much the same. Grace had told me about something that everyone was planning on doing and they were going to let me know when they were certain of something. When i asked about Simon and Augie she gave me a shrug. It was something personal. Something that they had to work out.

In other news, Angela was really falling hard for Ben Cheney but just like a princess in a Disney film her magic will run out this Saturday and they won't be anything to each other any more. I wanted to tell her to just ask him out because i knew for a fact that he liked her in the same way she liked him but the words got stuck in my throat. 

Ah, i realized what this was. 

I fucking hate her.

I excused myself early that day from the group. That shitty thought came from a shitty place and i needed space. I needed to be away from everyone. I found myself crouched besides the main office. Maybe i should cancel the volunteer work and the classes during vacation so i can just hole myself in the entire time. Become the hermit i was before. Take time for me. Breathe.

In Biology i don't know what kind of face i had on but Edward immediately became alert. I bit my bottom lip frustrated that even if he wasn't pushing me he still obviously obviously cared. 

"Are you okay?" He asked.  

"Always." I told him. "You?"

"Could be better." His smile didn't reach his eyes but they carried deep concern within them. I wished he'd just stop. "What's wrong?"

"It's stupid." I told him. 

"Nothing you say is stupid to me."

I told him nothing because i knew it was stupid. 

I ran harder that day than i did the day before. I slipped on mud and fell into puddles. My body was sore by the end of class and i had mud in my hair. I didn't even bother changing out of my PE clothes. 

Jessica stopped me before i got too far. For how fake she is as a person the worry in her face was real and it didn't make it better that Angela caught up after. They did the same as Edward. What's wrong? What happened? Was it Simon, said Jessica. 

"No it wasn't Simon!" I snapped, "what? Can I not be upset simply because I'm having a bad day? Why does a boy have to be the center of my problem? Why can't i just be sad because of me?"

Jessica let go of my arm. "I'm sorry." She whispered. 

"No." I said my voice still harsh and ready to attack her. I wanted to call her out for her fake ness, "I'm sorry, I'm... fucking pissed... please leave me alone until i get myself together. I don't want to say something that i dont fucking mean."

"We understand." Angela said taking Jessica's arm. "We're here for you if you need someone to talk to. Okay?"

I gave her a sharp nod before turning away.