Soul not Included

Chapter 55

There are some things in the world that I guess is a universal thing.

Apologies among friends didn't mean instant forgiveness. 

Depression is often questioned by others if the depressed individual isn't acting in a 'depressing' manner.

And when obviously overworking between three different things people tell you to stop not knowing how precarious your work ethics are. 

I didn't want to stop. Didn't want to call off. The moment the momentum slows, i will slow and I will sink and I will be useless. Officially.

Edward isn't asking me to stop, thankfully. He's only advising me that I should let my free days be just that, free. Don't take an extra shift. Don't pack. Don't clean. Don't worry about paying his family back or the courses for college. 

But I feared becoming useless and I needed to keep myself busy. So he handed me a book, one of the many I haven't read and wouldn't be taking with me. He told me to read, to sleep, to rest.

Sleep is for the weak, the words were always on the tip of my tongue but I never say it. Edward could probably argue circles around me in the many ways sleep is beneficial for my health and how detriment it was to avoid it. That isn't what's stopping the words from coming out of my mouth.

I am weak, rings in my head. 

... and then he jumps out the window, the memory of him ever so haunting in my bedroom.

Sleep had never been a problem before. If I willed it long enough, sleep comes regardless of what  I'm going through. Not that anything bad has happened this past month. It's surprisingly been very normal. There's even good news. Sue and Charlie got together. 

Carlisle says it's because my diet is fucked up. I can eat lighter foods although my appetite still isn't no where near where it was. I was lacking a proper nutrition to get proper sleep and the sleep I did get didn't help in the slightest. I woke up still feeling tired. He said the only way to fix it was to keep making the slow progress of improving my diet. 

Edward came in on my day off, surprisingly in a very human way. He finally knocked on the door and waited for me to open rather than just jumping in the window.

"I have an idea," he said holding up his keys. "Would you like a ride, lady Isabella?"

"To?"

"Anywhere. Everywhere. Let's try it."

We got into the car. He lowered the seat for me. I laid there looking up into the roof. I peeked over at him as he started the car, "Close your eyes." 

I did. I'm not sure how long we were driving. I opened my eyes a few times whenever i felt the car slow down or make a stop but otherwise, it was probably the best rest I had in a while. I awoke again at the drive thru of a burger joint. 

"How many hours?" I asked.

"Four so far. How do you feel?"

"Better."

He smiled, "I'm buying you fries. You haven't eaten breakfast again. Bad habit of skipping it."

"... i don't get hungry first thing in the morning."

Edward ordered small fries and nuggets. I watched him doing it. His profile the only thing I can pay attention to. I wanted to draw it. My hand itched to work on a sketch.

"Did you know when frogs vomit they eject their stomachs to empty it out?" I asked.

He scrunched up his face, "I did know that... and am having difficulty in understanding why you would know that and why you would bring it up right before you're about to eat."