Persphyni : I am Death

56

I left the room, the girl still droning on about her shark story. Clarke and Bellamy still moping about Luna. Jasper still staring intently at the storyteller. And Octavia still speaking with Luna quietly.

Getting back onto the deck, the bright sunlight and fresh sea air calming my nerves as I walked over to the railing. The small spot I was headed towards seemed to be a view port or something of that sort as it was secluded from everything and off towards a barren corner.

The perfect spot to sit down and take a few seconds to calm down. Something bad was going to happen, obviously something bad is always bound to happen around me, but this was coming soon. Like a horizon full of dark clouds. You don't know when the storm is going to hit, only that it's coming and there is little you can do but be prepared.

And I couldn't get prepared with my mind traveling at twenty thousand thoughts per second. At least not with the context of the few confusing and irrelevant thoughts. I needed quiet to concentrate and focus back to my relevant ones.

How the days when I was simply a teen. A killing-machine, a murder with no conscience. A human living with darkness beneath her skin. Death at her beck and call, beside her waiting for his pay. Locked away with only my imagination and small blade to keep me company. The books to provide me an escape.

Yet here I am. A daughter, a friend, a family member, a protector, a leader. Scared that when the time comes, I won't be who I've always been, and it will mean the death of those I care for.

I scoffed into the breeze as I grabbed my self-pity and worry and strangled it before throwing it into the ocean. This was just one of many thoughts that were distracting me.

I sat down on the metal, my feet handing off the sides as I wrapped my arms over the horizontal metal railing. Just below me was a sub level and below that was the roaring ocean. The crash of waves on the metal loud as it filled the darkening sky.

Something was coming.

But for now, I was taking the time to relax. Close my eyes, and breathe in the sea breeze.

"Somewhere the timing will all come together
The mishaps will turn into sunny Decembers
The lovers
Will be able
To find their willow
I wouldn't leave you
I would hold you
When the last day comes
I wouldn't leave you
I would hold you
When the last day comes
What if you need me
Won't you hold me
On the last day
Our last day."

"I haven't heard you sing in a while." I turned my head and saw Bellamy leaning against a corner. His presence startling me, but I shook it off and looked back out to the blue water.

"I haven't sung since the Mountain." My voice soft as I heard his feet stepping closer. His movements pausing before he sat beside me. Our eyes on the water as a comfortable silence settled between us.

"Do you miss it?" I rose a brow and looked at Bellamy as his face contorted as he realized what he said. "Not the mountain, I was ref-" I gave a small chuckle before answering his question.

"Yeah. Back then it was just us, and well obviously the grounders and mountain men, but we were free. It was simple. Stay alive. You?" I turned back to the ocean as he sighed.

"Sometimes. I don't miss you hating me though. That was annoying." I gasped and punch him in the shoulder.

"I was annoying? Your ass was obnoxious. Literally you couldn't go one minute without getting on my nerves." He turned to face me, a challenging look on his face.

"Oh, yeah? For what? You couldn't go thirty seconds without having something to say." I turned to face him too, our shoulders square as I narrowed my eyes.

"I had something to say because your Dumbass, thought just because you were the hot, older guy at camp and all the girls and a few boys flocked to you, that you could do whatever the hell you wanted." My face dropped as I realized I had said something that warranted him to smirk. His eyes lighting up in amusement as I tried to gather myself and remember what I had said.

"All I heard from that was you think I'm hot." I deadpanned, my face blank as I started to stand up. My brain not actually able to handle what just happened. Just as I went to move passed, his hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me towards him. My feet stopping just a hair away from his.

"I was just messing with you. I know I'm hot and that I was an ass." I rolled my eyes and kept staring up at him, asking him to continue. "To say the truth I thought you were going to steal my thunder. After O told me you saved her, I wanted to say thank you. But I, for some reason just couldn't do it. Maybe I was jealous that you had been the one to do it instead of me." His hand let go as he sighed.

"I was a total massive jerk, a Dumbass. Hopefully I can be forgiven one day." I pursed my lips in thought. A hand on my chin as I pretended to be thinking hard.

"I don't know. You did splash cold river water on me for no reason." I watched his jaw drop and I started dying. I was a mess as I grabbed the railing to keep me up. For some reason, that one motion of his jaw dropping plus the memory, I was a mess.

My stomach began to cramp as I never had done this before. Clearly I was relaxed as I tried to settle down. Eyes watering with tears of joy as I settled down and finally managed to look up to his beaming face.

His grin wide as he scanned over my face. My thumbs brushing under my eyes just in case any tears slipped from them.

"I forgive you, Bellamy." I spoke as I finally calmed down. "The only person left to forgive you, is you." I smiled up at him as he smiled back.

His arms opening sideways as he looked at me with raised eyebrows. My eyes rolling as I stepped into the hug and soaked in his warmth. The cold breeze pushing on my back as his arms cocooned me from the front and sides.

"You're freezing." I pulled back from the hug as Bellamy grabbed my hands and felt the fingertips. "Let's get back inside." I watched with awe as he walked us back inside. A small smile on my face turned to a smirk as I stepped up on my toe to reach Bellamy's ear.

"Don't lie, we both know I'm hot as hell." His booming laugh filled the hallway as we entered the rig, my own laugh following shortly after.

His hand still holding mine. The warmth new and comforting, bringing a temporary bliss smile.