Wonderland // McFly

'Cause You're Never Gonna Get That Girl

February 28, 2014: McBusted Tour; Scarborough, England 

"Why?" 

"You ask a lot of questions." James laughs, taking a sip of his coffee. 

James and I wanted to catch up. With the whirlwind of everything happening with McBusted, we really hadn't had time. We'd been sat at a cafe for an hour, right by the window so the sunlight could give us warmth. The boys had a show tonight in Scarborough, which was the third to last show in the McBusted Tour. I had learned more about James in this past hour than I had in my whole time knowing him. 

"Yeah but...I mean why did you give the song away? It was amazing!" I say. 

"Lots of songs are amazing but it's really about if the song speaks to you. If it doesn't, you might as well give it to someone else. Plus, there will always be more songs. I've got my whole life ahead of me." James shrugs. 

"Do you think you'll do this for the rest of you life?" I ask. James nods. 

"Always some sort of music in some way. Performing is the best, but even if I'm not doing that, I'll always do something with music for the rest of my life. Nothing else is as important. Nothing makes me feel the way music does." 

I look down and then quickly take a sip of my own coffee. 

"What about you?" James asks. I look up at him.

"Pardon?" I ask, confused. 

"What do you want to do for the rest of your life? What's your music?" He asks. I couldn't be more confused. 

"I've always worked for the boys." Is all I can manage to say. 

"I know...but what is it that you do that makes you feel something, you know? What makes you feel all warm in your chest?" He puts his hands over his heart, clearly passionate. "Surely it's not chasing Danny down and pestering him to do his vocal warm ups." I laugh. 

"I suppose I've never thought about it." 

"Well what did you think you'd do for your whole life?" James asks. 

Is it wrong that I thought I would just work for the boys forever? I'd never thought about McFly coming to an end. It just didn't seem...possible. I'm quickly becoming embarrassed. 

"I didn't mean to make you embarrassed." Jame smiles sweetly. "It's just...I thought you knew what you what you wanted to do after McFly." 

"Why does there have to be an 'after McFly'?" I ask. 

"There doesn't have to be." James says. "But don't you want to experience things?" 

"I have experienced things. I've traveled the world. I've met tons of celebrities. I've been in the same room as the queen." I try to bargain. 

"Yeah...but you did all that for the guys." 

"What do you mean?" I ask. 

"I'm not saying what you've done is wrong. It's not. At all. The only thing is that...for years you've helped Tom, Danny, Dougie and Harry meet their goals. You've watched them achieve all their dreams. But what are your dreams? Dream careers? Dream future? Dream family? Dream house?"  James questions. 

"I...I guess..." I start. 

"Lilly, I mean this in the kindest way, as a friend, you work too much." James laughs. 

"Well I have a very time consuming job." I counter and raise my eyebrows as if to say, because of you. "And I like my job." 

"Lilly." James repeats, leaning forward. "I know I'm not supposed to ask this. My mother told me not to, but how old are you?"