Wonderland // McFly

Through the Flames

April 18, 2011: Above the Noise Tour; Brighton, England

Luckily, the fainting dilemma was a one time occurrence thus far, and tour had gone quite swimmingly since then.

We were getting to the end of the tour now, and I was definitely ready to be back home. Being on tour was exhausting for a person who gets a good night's rest, let alone for someone with insomnia.

I hated to act like I took it for granted, though. I had the best job in the entire world, and I didn't know what the next tour would consist of, or when it would be, but I was too tired to care.

That's how I felt about most things these days.

But at the same time, I was scared for tour to end. After this, Dougie would move back to his own house without any supervision. I know he's an adult, and I know he's much better, but I just couldn't let my mind rest.

"So guys." Tom says, turning to us all while we're in the dressing room before the show.

"Yes, Tommy?" Danny smiles. Tom sits on the couch.

"As you guys know, I'm prone to having some...moody phases...from time to time." Tom says. I already knew where this was going, and I was proud of him for telling them. I can't imagine it's easy.

"Oh, we know." Harry says. I want to scold him, but Tom laughs.

"It kind of got to the point where they were affecting my everyday life." Tom says. "And my songwriting, obviously."

"What are you talking about?" Danny looks confused. "Obviously wasn't a sad song at all!"

"No, Danny, not the song Obviously, I'm saying it's clear when I'm in a bad mood by the songs I write. Because they're depressing." Tom says.

"Oh." Danny says.

"Sorry to hear that, Mate." Dougie replies. He knows what it's like when something has such an effect on your life that it takes over everything.

"So, a couple of months ago, I went to the doctor. Gi, told me to, actually." Tom says. "They said that I could be bipolar."

"Wait-" Harry interjects. "You could be bipolar? What does that mean?"

"Well, at first I went to a doctor and he said I wasn't, but then I went to a different doctor and they said I am." Tom explains. "Either way, I'm being treated for bipolar disorder."

"Treated?" Dougie asks. "How?"

"Nothing too serious." Tom shrugs. "I have to take some medicine before I go to bed and listen to these music tapes when I fall asleep to meditate, or something. But I don't have to go to the Priory, or anything." He smiles, and looks at Dougie, who laughs.

"Don't knock it till you try it." Dougie says, holding his hands up defensively.

"No, we're glad you went Doug." Tom says.

"So...is it working? The medicine and tapes and stuff?" Danny asks.

"I think, so far, they are." Tom says. "I mean, I don't feel crazy different, but when I do think that I might have a tough day or week, it's easier to get up and try to get through it."

"I'm sorry Mate. I didn't know it was that serious." Harry shakes his head.

"Hey, it's alright." Tom smiles. "Plus, I wanted to get it out of the way, since I have something more important going on."

"More important?" I ask. Was he talking about tour?

"Yeah." He smiles. "After tour," He starts, going toward his bag and getting a peice of paper out. "I've got to go get this." He smiles, holding up the paper in front of him. On it, there's a photo of a diamond ring.

"Oh my God!" I jump up, hugging him immediately.

"Wait, I don't get it." Danny calls out.

"Yeah, I got to go with Dan on this one." Dougie says.

"He's proposing- oh wait, I probably should have let you say that." I cover my mouth, and Tom laughs.

"You're proposing?" Harry asks, as him and the boys jump up from their seats as well.

"Wait! Let him say it!" I say, going over to the other three to block them and turning towards Tom. He laughs.

"I'm proposing." He smiles, and then we all tackle him in a hug.

"When? Where? Now?" Danny asks, quickly, jumping up and down.

"No, no." Tom laughs. "I still have to ask her dad for permission."

"Well we should celebrate!" Harry exclaims.

"Yes, we should." I say. "But after tour is over. You guys have a show in half an hour, so you have to get ready." The boys say their congratulations and disperse quickly. Danny walks over to the ironing board where he left the iron on his black tee shirt.

"Aw!" He exclaims, disappointedly. "I burnt a hole in me shirt!"

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