Wonderland // McFly

Dazed and Confused

February 25, 2008

Today, Dougie and I were going back to the studio, and yes, it was definitely going to be awkward.

Dougie and I had completely avoided each other all day yesterday. It was a mutual thing. If he was in the kitchen and I also needed to go in, I would wait for him to be done. If one of us was in the living room, the other was in their bedroom.

Speaking of bedrooms, Dougie had kept the one we had previously shared, and I now inhabited the extra bed in Danny's room.

But today, I knew inevitably I would have to speak to Dougie. It was part of the job. And to be honest, I didn't want things between us to be different and awkward. I wish everything could just go back to the way it was when things weren't complicated. Before Wonderland.

We all took the same car to the studio. And it dawned on me that, even though I felt like life after Dougie and I would be so different, in most ways, life would be the same. McFly would still exist, I would still manage them, and we would always sit the same way in cars together.

That was a big thing, for some reason. If one of the boys wasn't driving, it was always the same. Tom and Danny in the middle row and Harry and Dougie in the far back. Something about the consistency of this eased my mind a lot in the moment. Silly, I know.

When we got to the studio, Jason was already there.

"Boys, I've been listening through the vocal tracks we recorded of the fans for One for the Radio and it's just too Australian." He said.

"Too Australian?" Tom asks.

"Their accents are just really thick. Very obviously Australian. We want the voices to not really be characterized by accent."

"So what do we do?" Danny asks.

"Pair up. We're gonna go in and scream over the sound of the fans." Jason says. "Dougie, you and I go first?"

"Yeah, sure." Dougie replies. He didn't seem upset, so I hoped I didn't either.

"Danny and Tom?" Jason questions.

"Yeah." Tom says, nudging Danny. Jason looks over at Harry, and realizes he doesn't have a partner to record with. Then he looks over at me.

"Lilly...wanna be on a McFly album?" Jason asks.

"I guess?" I say, making it sound like a question. Jason and Dougie make their way into the booth and Harry turns to me.

"Great." He whispers. "They put the two that don't sing together."

Dougie and Jason screamed their lungs out, and then Tom and Danny, and finally, it was Harry and my turn. I wasn't a good singer, but this was just chanting. It couldn't be that hard could it?

Could it?

"Alright." Jason says through the microphone into the booth. The booth we were in was small, so Harry and I had to share one mic, and we both had big funny looking headsets on. "When the recording starts, just yell with the recording into the mic. Got it?"

"I hate this." Harry says.

"I didn't ask if you hated it, I asked if you got it." Jason replies.

"Yes we got it." I reply. "Come on, Haz. How hard could this be?"

Jason starts to play the track and Harry looks at me, breathing out nervously. Then, I begin to chant.

"We! Do- why didn't you go?" I ask Harry, stopping myself when I realise I was the only one singing. And then, Harry starts to laugh.

Harry starts to laugh so hard, that I start to laugh just from watching him, and then we're crying laughing for absolutely no reason.

But it feels really good.

"What is wrong with the two of you?" Jason asks, but Harry and I couldn't reply if we wanted to. And we didn't want to.

**********

Harry and I did eventually get the vocals after a lot of laughs and a lot of messed up tracks.

I was standing around watching Danny, Tom and Dougie work on a song while Jason was working with Harry. The song actually happened to be the one I heard Danny singing when I found him on the balcony the other day.

"Out of our minds and out of time..." Danny says as he writes it down in Tom's songbook. "What next?"

"Not sure yet, Danny. That's how writing a song works." Tom laughs.

"Don't be a dick." Danny smiles. "Got anything, Doug?"

"How about, 'Feeling far away from you'?" Dougie throws out.

"No." Danny turns it down instantly.

"'Throw anything out there, Doug'." Dougie mocks Danny, making Tom and I chuckle. Danny picks up his guitar and starts to play the section of the song again.

Wishing I could be in California

I wanna tell you when I call ya

I could've fallen in love

I wish I'd fallen in love

Out of our minds and out of time-

"Oh!" Danny exclaims. "What about 'wishing we could share a view'? Cause it's about wanting to be with someone...and if you're with them, then you're sharing a view! Get it?"

"Yeah I got that part." Tom smiles at Danny's naiveness. "I like the wishing part, but I'm not sure about the rest."

"What? Why?" Danny asks.

"I don't know Dan." Tom shrugs.

"I think it's great!" Danny argues. "Doug?"

"I gotta agree with Tom on this one. Sorry Danny." Dougie says.

"Lilly?"

"I don't know anything about songwriting, Danny." I say. Danny sighs.

"Sorry Babe." Tom jokes.

And then, without even thinking, I said it.

That'll do, pig.

Which wouldn't have been that bad, if Dougie hadn't also said it at the same time.

But he did.

So it was really bad.

Immediately, Dougie and I look up at each other, but the thing is, we don't know what to say, so we both don't say anything. For a while. I can feel Tom and Danny looking back and forth at us with wide eyes.

"Uh...I'll be right back." Dougie says, walking out of the room we were in. I look at Tom and the Danny who look like they've just seen a ghost.

"Sorry about that." I say, I laugh nervously, looking down.

"Don't be sorry." Danny says, and then we return to awkward silence. The silence lasts for about a minute, before Tom buts in.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I have to ask. You guys had a thing about quoting a pig movie?"

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