62. Panic, excitement and shock

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ALLY’S P.O.V.

I got home from work and Dan was nowhere to be seen. I asked the boys if they had seen him today but all of them said no. I felt ridiculously panicked, Dan hadn’t been on his own properly since his relapse. I had been by his side most of the time and when I hadn’t been, one of the boys had been around to ‘keep an eye on him.’

I sat on the sofa nervously tapping my foot. I had called Dan and text him but hadn’t got a reply. It had been an hour since I had been back and still, no call or text. I grabbed my phone and tried calling him again with no answer. I didn’t want to seem like the overly protective girlfriend, I’m sure there was a perfectly reasonable explanation and Dan was fine, I just couldn’t help but worry.

Another half an hour of anxiousness and who should stroll through the door but a tipsy Dan. “Where the fuck have you been?” I found myself snapping at him because I was filled with worry.

“Allyyyy babyyyy!!” He jumped on the sofa and leaned in to kiss me but I found myself flinching away.

“You stink of alcohol, Dan. Where have you been?” Well done Ally, take on the role of nagging girlfriend.

“Oh I was with Lou.” Lou, brilliant now he was using a nickname with her. “We had some wine, that’s all.” He grinned at me. I searched his eyes for any signs of drug use but it was obvious he hadn’t done anything, he was only slightly tipsy off of a couple of glasses of wine and that was fine. Although, him sharing a bottle of wine with his ex properly bothered me.

“So.” I hesitated. “You went and saw Lou today?”

“Oh yeah, did I not tell you? I went and saw her to sort things out, you know. And it was good.” He smiled to himself. “I have a daughter.”

I breathed in heavily and put on a fake smile, trying to act happy for him. “She’s definitely yours then?”

“Yeah.” He said proudly. “Oh Al, Ellie’s brilliant. She’s a hilarious character and we really clicked today. We played around at the house and then went to the park and then dropped her off at Lou’s sisters and me and Lou went to the pub and talked a lot and sorted things through and I’m going to spend some time with her. Only a few hours a day at first with Lou there to build a relationship and then Ellie obviously needs to be told I’m her dad. But then that might lead to something more, overnight stays here and things like that.” Dan held my hands and squeezed them in excitement whilst my mind tried to process this new information.

Dan clearly had no clue of my uneasiness and happily jumped up off the sofa, heading into the kitchen and coming back with two beers in his hand. I guess that was the end of the ‘I have a daughter’ conversation then.

DAN’S P.O.V.

After spending a brilliant day with Lou and Ellie yesterday, I was excited at the concept of spending another day with the two of them. I was greeted with a huge hug from Ellie, which only put more of a smile on my face. I loved how comfortable Ellie felt with me; it just felt like we were naturally close even though in reality we barely knew each other.

The three of us spent hours on end mucking around and playing together and I was genuinely upset when Lou took Ellie for her nap, I felt like I didn’t want to miss another minute of Ellie’s life and even though she was only going to be gone for an hour or so, I could feel myself missing her and wanting to spend this precious time with her.

Later that evening, I found myself thinking about the situation that I was in less than two weeks ago and how foolish I was behaving. It was at that moment that I swore on my daughter’s life that I would never touch another drug again. She had lived without a father for nearly two years; I had to be there for her as much as possible now and I wasn't going to let anything as stupid as drugs take away her chances of a stable upbringing.

……..

I woke up to the sound of Ally’s alarm again and went to make her a cup of tea whilst she got ready for work.

“Ah thank you darling.” She said as I re-entered the bedroom and she took the mug from my hands, giving me a quick kiss as well. “What are your plans for today then?”

“Just going to go over to Lou’s to see Ellie again I think.” I smiled at the thought of spending time with them.

“Oh okay, that’s cool.” Ally seemed uninterested, instead focusing on applying her mascara. When she had finished she turned around to face me. “I… I’ve been thinking..” She stuttered out, not finishing her sentence.

“About what Al?” I encouraged her to be open with me.

“I… I think I’m going to go and see Kaley.” She must have seen the shock in my face because she then felt the need to explain her decision. “I just think that she’s had a couple of weeks to cool down and she might have realised how strange she was behaving. And she is my best friend. This is the longest we’ve ever spent apart and I can’t help but miss her and feel like she should be here.”

I took a minute to process what she had just said. Kaley had basically made our lives hell. She had lied and tried to manipulate situations to get her own way. I thought she was completely crazy. But at the end of the day she was Ally’s best friend and if Ally wanted Kaley in her life, I had to accept that, just like Ally had accepted that I wanted Ellie in my life.

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