A Second Chance

All a dream

November 17th.
37 weeks and four days pregnant.
The day before Sam's birthday.

***

Jessica wasn't feeling herself at all today.

On top of this extremely sad feeling she had because Sam's birthday was the next day, and it was the first birthday he wouldn't be here for, she was also having horrible contractions and back aches all day.

"Mom, maybe we should take you to the hospital." Samuel rubs her back as she leans forward on the counter.

"No, I'm fine!" She says in a painful voice.

"Mom, you don't sound fine!"

"I am, just massage my back!" She lays her head down on her arms and moans.

Samuel massages her back to relieve her as much as he can.

"Oh this hurts! Shit!" She whines.

"Mom, do you think this is it?" James asks.

"I think it's the start of it."

"Oh my gosh! He's coming?" Michael smiles.

"He's starting to!" Jessica looks at him with a sleepy smile.

"This is awesome! Maybe he'll be here tonight!"

"Heh, I don't think so, sweetie." Jessica chuckles and sits down on the chair.

She grabs her bottled water from the table and takes big gulps.

While drinking, she looks up and sees her boys surrounding her.

"Yes?"

"Nothing! We're just watching you." James says.

"Well stop, you're making me feel self conscious!" She lays her hand across her stomach and looks down.

"I just feel like you could explode at any moment!" Sam says, and Jessica laughs.

"Let's not talk about me anymore. What are you boys up to?"

"Nothing really. Hey, I was wondering, if you're up to it, maybe we could visit dad tomorrow.  You know, since it's his birthday." James says.

Jessica just looks at him with a blank face.

"I mean, we don't have to! That's up to you. Maybe just the three of us can go, you don't have to! You should go out with Sarah, or something else fun with aunt Jane and Ann."

"Yeah, that would be good to get your mind off of.. You know, everything." Michael looks down.

"Yeah..." She looks down and thinks for a second, before looking up and asking, "Do you think I should visit him?"

"That's up to you mom. If you're not ready, then that's fine. There's no problem with that!"

"Yeah... I just feel bad because I haven't gone.  He passed in March and it's already November."

"Mom, that's understandable.  It was something that was very hard for you.  It's okay and dad would say it's okay if you took all the time you need.  Even if it's years.  He understands."

Jessica nods and closes her eyes to hide the tears forming.

"Alright, who's turn is it to help me get up, I have to pee again." She quickly changes the subject.

"Mine." Sam chuckles, then jokes, "I'll help you out here. In there, you're on your own!" He points to the bathroom.

"Stop it!" Jessica laughs, then squeezes his hand and hunches over.