A Second Chance

Too far gone

Monday.

Sam has been feeling sick on and off for a few weeks, but today was the worst.

"Baby I think you need to go the doctor.  That pain in your side is getting worse, I can tell."

"Yeah, I guess I do.. I'll try to go after work." He stands up and bends over in pain.

"Sam!" Jessica grabs his arm and touches his back.

"AGH!"

"Sam I'm taking you to the emergency room!"

"Yeah.. alright, that's fine.."

***

Jessica waited as Sam was being examined.

She was worried, and was not at all prepared for what was about to come.

The doctor called her to the back.

When she saw Sam laying there in pain, she ran over to his side and grabbed his hand.

"Give him something, he's in pain!" Jessica tells the doctor.

"We were waiting to get the results back."

"Well hurry up!  Sam, honey, it's gonna be okay, baby!"

"They just came in.. that's why I called you back."

"So what does it say?"

The doctor pauses and takes a deep breath.

"What is it?" Sam asks.

"You have cancer, Mr. Shepard."

"What?"

"No.  No, that's not right!" Jessica tears up.

"I'm afraid it is."

"So what do I need to do?  When can I start chemo?"

"Mr. Shepard, you have pancreatic cancer.. it's a very powerful type."

"So how long do I have?"

"Sam!" Jessica looks at him wanting him to stop talking that way.

"About one to two weeks."

"What?!" They both answer.

"No, he--he just found out, that can't be possible!"

"I'm so sorry."

"NO!  This isn't true!" Jessica yells and cries.

Sam puts his arm around her and rubs it back and forth.

"Oh Sam.. I can't lose you!" Jessica looks deep into her eyes.

"You'll be okay." He says in almost a whisper.

"No.. No I won't!  I don't wanna lose you!"

"You'll never lose me, Jessica."

"Sam!" She hugs him tight and lays on his chest.

***

They sent Sam home with pain medicine to keep him comfortable, but that was it.

They couldn't believe this was happening.  How can their lives change so fast from one day to the next?

Even as sick as Sam felt, all he wanted was to make Jessica feel safe and loved.

Jessica cried and cried.

"Jessie, please don't cry!"

"Sam, how am I not supposed to?  I can't.. I can't live without you!"

"I will be with you forever, Jessica.  I love you."

".. I love you too." She sobs and hugs him.

They stay that way for a while and Sam clears his throat.

"We um.. we need to tell the boys when they get home."

"Oh gosh, the boys!  Sam, I can't!"

"Yes you can.  Jessica, you are a strong woman, and you can do anything!  Please remember that."

She nods her head as tears fall down her cheeks.

For the rest of the afternoon all they did was stay in each other's arms and tell each other how much they loved one another.

When the boys got home, they saw how red and swollen their parents eyes were.

"What's going on?" James asks.

"Is grandma okay?!" Micheal's eyes widen.

"Grandma's fine.  You boys come over here, we need to talk.." Jessica says wiping her cheeks.

Sam sat with his arm around her and she looked at him, for him to start.

"Boys.. um.. I guess I'll just go right out and say it... I have cancer."

"What?" Samuel asks.

All three of their faces drop, and Jessica starts crying again.

"Well there's something they can do, right?  I mean, there has to be!  What about chemo?"

"We asked.. there's nothing.. it's already too far gone."

"No."

"What are you saying?  What does that mean?!" Micheal asks.

"It means that you boys are gonna have to be responsible and take care of your momma." Jessica breaks down and grabs him tight.

"Shh shh.. it's okay." He pats her back and kisses her head.

"Dad, No!" Samuel stands up.

"This can't be it.  You can't leave us!"

"I wish I didn't have to, but that's not up to be.  I love you all and... just know I'll never leave your side."

"Dad, you can't be that sick!  You look fine!  People that are dying, don't look like you!"

"I guess.. I--I don't know, everyone's different." Sam looks down.

"How long do you have?" Micheal asks.

"... Let's not talk about that.  Why don't we go get some dinner?" He smiles and pats Jessica's arm.

"How long do you have, dad?" He asks again.

*Sighs* "One to two weeks."

"What?"

All three boys break down in tears and ask why this is happening.

"No one knows why.  No one will ever know why anything happens in this world..  but things like this happen, and you'll be okay.. we will always be a family." Sam's voice shakes.

"Dad.. DAD!" Samuel looks at him.

"This isn't real!"

"I'm sorry.."