A Second Chance

God gave me you

It's been a week and a half since Sam has been diagnosed and he's like a totally different person.

Family and friends have come to see him, to say their goodbye's, and to be there for Jessica and the boys.

James is more emotional, but he tries to hold it together for Jessica.

Samuel has been very quiet, and Michael has his moments.

Jessica is trying her best to stay strong, but it's clearly taken a toll on her.

"Mom you need to eat." Samuel hands her a plate.

"No.. No I'm fine."

"Mom."

"Honey, I'm okay."

"You haven't eaten at all today!  You barely eat anything anymore, and you're losing weight, mom!"

"No I'm not.  Just eat, I'm gonna go back with daddy."

Samuel looks at her with tears in his eyes, then gives up and back to the kitchen.

Sam was pretty much just sleeping all the time, so Jessica laid in bed next to him and held his hand, or laid on his chest and listened to his heart.

"I love you, Sammy.  I'll always love you.  No mater what, you'll always be in my heart. 

I don't want you to be worried about me and the boys.  We'll be okay.

I promise to keep your memory alive and.. I promise to tell our grandchildren all about their amazing grandpa.. Because they would've had a great one...

Oh Sam.  How could you leave me?  What am I gonna do without you, baby?

We've been together since I was fourteen!  You're my everything!  You'll always be my love."

Sam slowly opens his eyes and looks into hers that were filled with tears.

"Don't cry." He says slowly in a low voice.

"I'm gonna miss you, Sam!"

Sam doesn't say anything, he just reaches up and wipes her cheek slowly with his thumb.

A single tear rolls down his face and Jessica cries harder.

"Don't cry, baby! I'll stop, just please don't!" She wipes his face.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you more.. I'm sorry I have to leave you.."

"Don't say that, honey! You've given me more than you could ever imagine! A beautiful house, a wonderful life, three handsome and amazing boys.. and you gave me your love for seventeen years! That's more than anything I could ever ask for. So please don't think that or apologize, because in these seventeen years, you have given me the entire world."

Sam smiles with a worn out and tired look in his eyes.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you more, Sammy!" She reaches up and kisses his lips.

"God gave me you.." She whispers.

Sam smiles bigger and softly caresses her thigh.

Jessica holds him and lays on his chest, as she silently cries, until they both fall asleep.

***

Two weeks exactly since his diagnosis.

They knew today would be the day, so Jessica and the boys stayed with him all day.

"Mmm"

"Did you say something, baby?" Jessica squeezes his hand.

"I... have.. to go..."

Jessica pauses and a tear rolls down her face.

"... I know... Go be with your daddy, baby.  We're okay."

"Dad!" Michael shouts.

Jessica looks at him and he was crying.

She rubbed his back and he sat on her lap.

"I don't want him to go!"

"Neither do I, baby.. But he won't be suffering anymore... he'll be free..."

James kneeled beside them and said, "Michael, none of this makes sense right now, but everything happens for  reason.  It sucks.. It sucks a lot, but.. we have to be strong for mom." He says as tears run down his face.

Jessica wipes his cheeks, then holds her palm on his face.

Samuel stands up and walks out.

Jessica looks at him and pats Michael's back.

"I'll be right back."

She leaves the boys and follows Samuel.

"Sam!"

"I can't do it mom!"

"Honey, I know it's hard but--"

"I CAN'T DO IT!! 

He's just laying there and we're watching him die! 

What happened?  Why are we losing our dad?  What did we do so wrong that God is doing this to us?"

"We didn't do anything.  These things just happen.. there's no explanation, it just happens.  We just have to be strong, and stay together."

"Mom he was fine!"

"Your fathers's been sick for a while."

"But not where you'd think he had cancer!  Jesus Christ, I don't understand it at all!

What's gonna happen to us, mom?  How are we gonna live without him?"

"We'll make it some way, honey."

"For fucks sake!  DAMMIT!" Samuel punches his fist into the wall and breaks down in tears.

Jessica walks over to him and wraps her arms around him as the both cry.

Samuel bends down and lays his head on her chest and he sobs loudly.

He was never the emotional type, not even when he was a baby, did he ever cry that much.

"Mom!" James pokes his head out and calls her.

"Oh no... we have to go, Sam."

Samuel just stood there staring in the direction of his fathers room.

"You don't have to go in if you don't want to.. I understand."

"No, I'll go in..."

Jessica held Sam's hand and kissed his lips one last time.

"Thank you.. Jessica..."

"You're welcome... Thank you for everything, Sam!"

"I love you, Jessie..... Forever."

"I love you forever too, Sam!" Her voice shakes.

"God.. Gave me.. You..." He says out of breath.

Jessica smiles and wipes a tear that was rolling down her cheek.

That was their last words to each other.  Sam passed away just an hour later while their wedding song played.

'Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I've lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you, gave me you'