Bella's birthday

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I woke up the next day, zizzi lay on the end of my bed and the house sounded loud downstairs. I sat up and checked my phone before putting on a jumper and some socks and walking to my door. I opened it, to see directly opposite was Bella's bedroom door. There was a large pink letter B matching the I on mine and the J on Jessie's. Underneath was a sign she made at someone's party that read, BELLA'S ROOM. Finally there was a sign she had written reading, 'Evryone must now the sekret pasword or else.'
I giggled as I put my hand on the door handle. I took a deep breath in and pushed it down. Zizzi was now standing beside me as I let go of the door and let it swing open. There was a cool breeze coming from the window. I walked over and shut it. Then turned around to see her unmade bed and books spread across the floor in what she called her book corner. It was really just a bookcase with a few bean bags, cushions and blankets covering them. Her favourite blanket lay at the head of her bed with her pillow. I went and sat on the edge of her bed, the same place I read her stories every night. I pulled her blanket against me. It was so soft, it was pink and white stripes. The corner of it was dry and hard from where she had sucked on the corner.
"Happy birthday Bella" I whispered into the blanket.
I looked up to see that the top drawer of her bedside table was slightly open. A brightly pink coloured notebook caught my eye. I pulled the drawer open, to find the notebook amongst various small toys and pieces of kids jewellery. I let the blanket fall into my lap and I picked up the notebook from her drawer. I turned the first page to see a picture of mum holding Bella when she was born. As I began to turn the pages it showed that Bella had made some sort of book of her life and each page had a picture with some writing at the bottom. The page was then decorated with stickers and glitter as well as colourful pictures of hearts and smiley faces. The pictures were in chronological order from the start of her life to a picture taken a few weeks ago of the five of us, the same one that I had a copy of that was stuck on the wall next to my bed and the same one that was in the frame on the table in the porch.
There was over half of the notebook left.

After a while, I got up from Bella's bed, pulling her duvet up to the pillow as if I was tucking her into bed. Then closed the drawer and took the notebook and her blanket back to my room putting them on my bed before with zizzi just behind me, I went downstairs making sure Bella's door was now left open.

I went downstairs and Michelle, grandma, grandad, Kate, Aidan and Johnny were all day around the kitchen table.
"Hey angel" Michelle said as I came into the room. "Do you want some breakfast?"
"Yes please"
"Do you want me to make you an egg sandwich darling?" Grandma said.
"Yes please"
"Hey monkey, come here" Kate said from the kitchen table. I walked over and sat on the chair in between hers and Johnny's. She put her arm around me and pulled me in.
"How are you?"
"Alright, I feel better today"
"Oh yeah, how come?"
"I dunno, I built up the courage to go in Bella's room this morning."
"Good girl, we're gonna have to sort through everything at some point"
"Yeah I know"
"You're being so strong you know"
"Thanks, I have to be"
"You can always talk to me"
"I know"

I got up and gave zizzi her breakfast before sitting back down and grandma handed me mine.

Later I went upstairs and went into Jessie's room. Kate and Michelle were folding her stuff into bags that we were going to donate to a homeless shelter and some charity shops just like we were doing with mum, nick and Bella's stuff too.
Michelle held one up, a pink t-shirt that read NO.3. I had the number one and Bella had the number two.
"Can I keep that one?" I said to Michelle as I stood in the doorway.
"Course here you go" she said as she folded it up and placed it on the palm of her hand. I took it and sat down on the armchair in the corner of Jessie's room.
"Everything's ready for the funeral on Friday" Michelle said, "have you decided what you think Bella and Jessie should wear?"
"I thought Bella could wear that pink dress that she wore at Christmas, it was her favourite. I haven't thought about Jess yet."
"Why don't you have a look now? We haven't sorted her wardrobe yet" Kate said.
"Ok" I got up leaving my phone and Jessie's t-shirt on the chair. I opened up Jessie's wardrobe and was immediately attracted to a dress that Jess was meant to wear for Bella's birthday party. I picked it out, it was so tiny, white patterned with paint splatters and glitter.
"I like this one" i said holding it up to them.
"Same"
"Mum picked it, she was gonna wear it for Bella's birthday party"
"Hang it on the door handle, I'm gonna take the outfits to the undertakers this afternoon"
"Ok"

Later that day, Michelle and Kate had finished sorting through Jessica's and mums and nicks stuff, Michelle had gone to the undertakers and then the solicitors but I stayed at home.
I was watching TV with zizzi, when she got home,
"Isla, where are you?" She shouted from the porch,
"In here" I said from the sofa in the snug.
She walked in and sat down on the arm of the sofa.
"I've got some news for you"
"Is it good?"
"Well yeah"
"What is it?"
"Well everything that mum and Nick owned, like this house, the flats in Manchester, the restaurant, half of underworld your mum even still owns liz's half or the rovers, all that would have been split between the three of you girls but because they aren't here, it's all been left to you"
"All of it?"
"Yeah, but I as your legal guardian have control over it until your eighteen next year."
"That's quite cool you know"
"I know, and both of the cars have been left to you as well, I thought maybe you could have the smaller one to learn to drive"
"Really?"
"Yeah, we could get you some driving lessons when we go back up to Manchester"
"That would be so cool"
"Are you feeling better today?" She asked.
"Yeah"
"Kate told me you went in Bella's room today"
"Yeah"
"How about you come and help me sort out her clothes with Kate?"
"Yeah, ok" I said

At tea time, grandma cooked and we all sat around the table chatting. When we had finished, grandma and grandad cleared the plates and Michelle got up and brought out a white and blue cake that read HAPPY BIRTHDAY on the top.
We sang happy birthday and sat waiting for someone to blow out the candles, I was looking down at my hands, not wanting to look up, I knew they wanted me to blow out the candles but I couldn't, they aren't my candles, it's not my birthday, at the same time I didn't want anyone else to blow them out.
"Isla" Michelle said slowly, in a quiet voice.
"No, I'm not blowing them out, they're her candles. I wouldn't do it if she was here and I'm not doing it when she's not."
"Isla-" Michelle started, there was a sudden rush of wind that caused the back door to slam. I looked up and as I did the candles blew out from the sudden gust of wind.
"Told you, she wants to blow her own candles out" I said, even though deep down I knew that that gust of wind was just a coincidence.

That night I sat in bed with Bella's blanket and the notebook looking through it again before I fell asleep eventually.

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