His Cat, Her Major ~ Jasper Hale

Jasper's Past

A few days after she had met the Major, Jasper decided to tell her about his past. He knew that he couldn't not tell her, she did after all deserve to know who exactly she was kissing. So, he invited her over after school and led her up to his room, pulling her down to sit beside him on his bed. The rest of the family had kindly left to go hunting or shopping to give them some privacy.

"Darlin' I want to tell you about my past."

"Are you sure Love? You don't have to rush into this if you are not ready to talk about it. I can wait."

"No, you deserve to know and more than that, I want you to know."

"Alright." She took his hand in hers and settled down to listen.

"Well, as you know my last name is actually Whitlock. I was born in 1844, in Houston, Texas" he began. He explained everything he remembered from his time as a human; his parents and what it was like to grow up in that time period. He told her how he had lied about his age and joined the army. Not because he believed in their goals or ideals, but to help support his family when his father got sick and could not work. How he was quickly promoted to the rank of Major and how he had met Maria.

He had paused there, allowing her to take it all in, before continuing on. He left out very few points explaining about what he had done for Maria; training her newborns, fighting on the front lines, and disposing of the newborns when they were no longer useful.

He explained that he had thought Maria his mate and how the emotions of those around him and the guilt of all that he had done had been slowly crushing him. He told her about Peter and how things had been slightly better with him around, but how he had later run off with Charlotte, his mate, and Jasper had covered for them. He explained how this had been when Maria had begun to distrust him and how when Peter had come back for him, he had left with them, knowing his only other choice would have been to fight Maria.

From there he described his life with Peter and Charlotte. Where he had gotten a little bit better, but feeling the emotions of everyone he had killed was still tearing him apart so he had set off on his own. He finally came to the end of his story as he told her how he had met Alice and she had told him about the Cullens and their diet and how he would eventually meet his mate if he went with her.

Throughout his whole story she had stayed silent, tears falling from her eyes at parts. But now that they had finished, those eyes blazed with anger and Jasper pulled back thinking that she was mad at him. For allowing himself to become close to her after all that he had done.

She stood up abruptly then. "If you'll excuse me. I have to go down to Mexico and kill a bitch."

He glanced up at that, "you don't hate me?"

She whirled to face him at that, the fire in her eyes dying at the sight of him so worried and fragile looking on the bed. Quickly she fell to her knees at his feet, reaching up to cup his face. "Absolutely not! What on earth could possibly make you think that I am in any way angry, upset, disappointed, horrified, or disgusted by you Love?"

He felt a glimmer of hope start to grow in his chest then, "so you don't think I'm a monster?"

"Jasper you could never be a monster!"

"But I have done so many things. Terrible things to innocent people."

"Yes, and I am not denying that, but you know what I heard when you told me your story? I heard about a brave boy who set off to war to help his family. Who would have done anything for those he loved and that has not changed. You loved Maria, so you put aside your own feelings and morals to help her. You practically destroyed yourself to make sure she was happy and alright. And when Peter became your friend, you again risked everything to help someone you cared about, knowing full well that Maria may just kill you for what you did. So no, I don't see a monster when I look at you. I see a very brave man willing to do whatever it takes to help and protect those he loves."

By the time she finished, he had tears pooling in his eyes and he quickly pulled her up into his arms. He held her there, just softly rocking the two of them, not saying anything as he thought over what she had said. His family over the years had all reassured him that he was not a monster, that Maria had manipulated him and used the fact that he knew nothing of their world to convince him that her way was the way things were. But no one had explained it to him as Maya had. No one had ever told him that what he had done had not been because he was a monster capable of the level of harm he had committed, but because he was a man that cared for those he loved. Her words soothed him in a way that no other reassurances had and overwhelmed with the feelings he pulled back to crash his lips to hers.

They stayed like that for a while, making out on his bed as Jasper forgave himself a little more for his past. Finally, when they did pull apart Maya went and ruined the mood. "Seriously though, I want that bitch's location so I can go and tear her limb from limb."

He laughed, perhaps for the first time ever while discussing his past. "No Darlin' I will not be sending you out to pick a fight with her. She is in my past and I would rather leave it that way."

She pouted at that, "fine. But can I at least see your scars. Preferably the ones hidden under that shirt of yours." She fluttered her eyes at him jokingly to keep the mood light.

He laughed at her again, but sat up to roll up his sleeves so she could inspect his scars. She ran her hands slowly over them, so that she could feel them as she counted.

"That is a lot of scars Cowboy."

"I fought a lot of battles Darlin'."

"Then I suppose this just makes them even more amazing." At his questioning look she continued on, thinking of what her uncle Caius had told her when they had discussed all the horrible things people had done to win wars. "One of the vampires I lived with mentioned how it is easy for a man to lose himself in war. To throw away his humanity in order to survive or win. To kill off all the things that make him capable of love, compassion, kindness, and forgiveness. How men allow themselves to become monsters if they stay on the battlefield long enough so that they may survive. He told me that only the strongest of men are able to not only survive the fighting but to come out on the other side with their humanity intact. And you my dear Jasper, definitely did that. Even with all you have been through, you are still the kindest, gentlest and most loving man I know. These scars show all the battles you fought, all the times you almost died, and all the times you chose over and over again to stay a man and not throw away your humanity."

Once again, his Darlin' had him blinking in shock and he did not fight it as he once again crushed her to his chest thanking whatever being or power that gave her to him. He had never considered his scars anything more than a gruesome reminder of his past. He tried very hard to keep them covered so he and others could not see them. But she somehow came along and turned them into something beautiful. She did not see them as a warning that he was dangerous like other vampires would, but something to be proud of. Something to hold his head high about as each one was a victory, not over the vampire he had fought and killed, but over himself as he held onto his own self against all the odds.

"I really don't deserve you" he muttered.

"And I keep telling you, we're perfect for each other."

"Oh yeah so tell me what makes me so special to deserve such a wise and kind mate?"

"Well for one, its not like I can claim credit for that last bit of wisdom. As I told you, I was just repeating what my Zio had told me. And two, we are perfect for each other because we can both see past the others flaws and accept each other for who we are. You love me despite the fact that I am a curious cat who often runs off without first checking to see if it is safe and I love you despite the fact that I have been laying here in your arms for the last few minutes and you have yet to kiss me."

He burst out laughing at that, throwing his head back as he allowed all his worries, fear and shame to be pushed aside for the moment. "My apologies ma'am. Allow me to correct that." He said bringing his lips down to meet hers in a sweet kiss.

~Hey okay, I know this is a little unrealistic. A few words from someone are not really enough to wipe away guilt or trauma, but as I discovered in my last book, I suck at writing and describing that sort of thing. So, we're gonna say that he was doing pretty well thanks to his family before she came along and the rest is due to the magic of the mate bond and knowing the girl he loves doesn't think him a monster~

Translation:

Zio – Uncle