(4) Out of Control: An All Time Low FanFiction Romance

Chapter 73: Not Fair

        My head was pounding, and I had a feeling it was from the night before, arguing with Kinsley about what we were going to do for my birthday. I didn't want to do anything, besides maybe go out and buy a legal drink on my own. She was convinced it wasn't enough of a party. I didn't even want a fucking party. I just wanted to focus on the record until it was done.

        I guess what made me the angriest was that it wasn't her birthday, and I could do whatever I wanted. I spent almost two months partying non-stop on tour, and maybe I just wanted a break for a few weeks.

        "Nat, you don't look so good," Zack buzzed into the booth after cutting the track for the tenth time. I couldn't get my pitch high enough for the verse of the fifth song. It just wasn't my day.

        "Yeah, I know. Can I - uh, take ten? I need to take a walk," I murmured quietly, pulling the headphones off. I set them on the stand, not waiting for a response. I really need to get out of here.

        I was out of the room only seconds later, letting the door close. I didn't bother to look at Xavier and his girlfriend curled up on the couch. I honestly didn't give a damn that we were fighting. I was frustrated that I couldn't spend my birthday the way I wanted.

        I pushed the door to the studio open and sucked back a deep, steady breath. I wished I could do something to relieve the aggrivation boiling in my vens. This was how I always was, I never liked to talk about things and I kept them bottled up until the feelings dissolved.

        I pressed forward, heading to the front of the building. I was hoping to get outside and take a lap around the block. The studio was too stuff and too small right now. I couldn't deal with it.

        "Nat," a familiar voice broke through my thoughts, heavy footsteps against the ground while he jogged to catch up to me. I didn't look back. I didn't want to deal with anyone right now, and Jack wasn't an exception.

        I ignored him, continuing almost through the doors to the lobby. I lifted my hand to press the door, but five, long fingers wrapped around mine, stopping me in my tracks. "Are you okay?"

        "I'm fine," I umbled, trying to tug out of his grip. He didn't bidge, though, his hold only growing firmer to show I couldn't slip away. "Let me go, Jack."

        "Just tell me what's wrong," he said simply, concern audible in his voice. "You were fine when you left the apartment yesterday. What happened?"

        "I said I was fine," I seethed, looking at him, riping my arm away. "Christ, I tell you everything's fine. Why can't you just leave it at that?"

        "Because it's pretty obvious something's bothering you," he countered, holding the door shut, keeping me trapped. "I'm not an idiot. I know when you're lying."

        "You don't know anything," I growled, shooting off my mouth for no reason. It wasn't jack's fault, and I sholdn't be as upset as I was. "Just go away."

        He paused, looking down at me and letting out a huffed breath. "I'm your boyfriend, Nat. I don't just disappear."

        "That doesn't mean anything right now," I snapped, voice louder. "I want to be alone, and I want to take a walk by myself!"

        It was times like this that I really thought I hated Jack, when he just stared at me, unfazed by the words I threw at him. He didn't take anything I said seriously, and continued to argue with me. He didn't care that I was mad, and didn't believe anything I was saying. The fact that my words didn't make him flinch for enough time to escape made me evenmore furious.

        "It's always going to matter," he said quietly. "You don't -- you can't push people away like that." He paused, shaking his head. "You're not going to push me away like that."

        I set my jaw, glaring at him in fury. "I can do whatever the fuck I want, Jack! You're not my father!"

        "But I am your boyfriend," his voice was still even. "I know you don't have to tell me anything, but I want you to and you should want to, too."

        "I don't want to talk about anything," I groaned, crossing my arms. "Why are you arguing with me about nothing? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

        His dark eyes never left my face, not the entire time we stood there. His thin lips were even smaller when pulled into a tight line. I bit the inside of my mouth, breathing heavy, angry breaths.

        "I'm not just another friend anymore, Natalia," he sighed, unable to hide his aggravation any longer. His grip let go, and he ran his fingers through his long hair. "You're my girlfriend, and I'm supposed to help you when you're mad or pissed off or sad about something, no matter how stupid it is. If any of this is going to work out at all, you need to tell me what you're thinking."

        I hesitated, feeling as if the argument became more than it was supposed to. "I tell you a lot of stuff, that's a lie."

        He laughed lightly, shaking his head. "No, Nat it's not," he let out another breath before adding. "It's like whatever I try talking about anything halfway serious, or that is about you personally, you shut me out. I'm trying so damn hard to learn things about you, to help you out when you need it, but you just keep acting like you can just walk away wheneber you want. You can't just walk out of a relationship, Nat. It doesn't work that way."

        "It can work whatever way I want it to," I still was fighting for whatever reason. "I don't need to tell you everything that bothers me."

        "But the only way for this to go anywhere at all is for you to talk to me," he said, laughing in bewilderment. "Do you get that? If you don't talk to me, we can't fix anything."

        "There's nothing to fix right now, Jack."

        "I'm not talking about right now," he muttered in defeat, rubbing his eyes. "It's obvious this isn't a big deal and you're frustrated. But, if you won't even tell me the simplest things, why the hell would you tell me the bigger things?

        "I am talking about when you're pissed at me about something, and you don't tell me about it. You like to completely cut me off without giving me a chance to figure out what I did wrong. I can't deal with you just ignoring me like you did when were on tour. We're not just sleeping together anymore, and it's not fucking fair to do that." He paused, shaking his head. "I don't think either of us are going to want to invest any more time into this if things aren't going to change."

        I paused again, chewing on the side of my lip while watching him. I knew Jack didn't want to have a conversation like this. He liked to have conversation, but he didn't feel comfortable talking about how I affected him that way. I could see it in the ay he crossed his hand over his chest, staring off above my head and out the door.

        For the first time in what felt like my entire life, my heart ached. My chest felt heavy, and my breathing became labored. My palms began to sweat, and my throat closed up.

        I didn't like to think about Jack not being in my life, not after enduring those two weeks without him.

        "I - I don't know what.." I stuttered, feeling as if I took too long to answer. My face was flushed, at a loss for words. "I just - I'm sory."

        I never liked the taste of those words on my tongue. They were foreign to me, even if it felt like I used them so often when talking to Jack.

        I must have said something right, because his mouth cracked a little smile. He leaned forward the few inches between our faces, kissing me tenderly. I grinned, smirking against his lips, reaching for his shirt to tug my chest closer to his.

        His mouth broke from mine, letting out a satisfied breath. I opened my eyes, seeing his chocolate irises watching my face intently.

        "Now, tell me what's wrong."