(4) Out of Control: An All Time Low FanFiction Romance

Chapter 47: Watch Me

        "You ready to tell me why you flipped out on Jack yesterday?" Kinsley asked, suddenly appearing behind me. I turned to her, not startled at all by her abrupt appearance.

        I was leaning against the equipment at the side of the stage, watching All Time Low perform in Baltimore, the last show of the tour. Our show had been over for hours, but I was still waiting for the idea to hit that this was the last show and we were done. Maverick and Porter had been going on about some end of tour party All Time Low was planning shortly after their show, but I knew nothing more than that. At this point, I wasn't even sure if I was going.

        "Not really," I said quietly, watching Jack run about the stage, the energy on his face evident in every step he took. I reached up lazily to scratch around my ear, brushing back my bangs that had fallen into my face. They were still damp from the shower I had taken a little while ago.

        I had escaped to my bus right after our show ended, successfuly avoiding Jack, as I had been since last night. I stayed with Kinsley and Xavier on the bus until I knew All Time Low would be on stage, and then I left, coming to the spot I was at now, watching Jack standing in front of his microphone that was decorated in bras, listening to Alex introduce the next song they were playing, the last song of their set. He was making a little speech, words fighting over Jack's as they both talked loudly in the microphones at the same time.

        "I think you do, considering it's obviously annoying the fuck out of you," Kinsley persuaded, watching me closely. It was the same type of persistence Jack had, the type that annoyed me, but I was too busy fighting with myself to get upset at her for. I sighed, turning towards her, leaning my back against the equipment. 

        "I was just tired of his questions about Hunter, and you know me and my wicked short temper. I was just pissed at Hunter because he was still hung up on me so I had to tell him that Jack and I were dating, which only made him stalk away like a baby, and then Jack wouldn't let it go until I told him something, so I just exploded. Once I started it was too hard for me to stop." I turned back towards the stage, listening now as Kinsley spoke.

        "You told him more in five minutes then you've told me in five years," Kinsley said quietly.

        "Yeah, but you're my best friend. You know Hunter, you've been around both of us for years. You know what happened, I didn't have to explain anything to you."

        "You didn't have to explain anything to Jack, either," she pointed out. "So, why did you?"

        "I told you, I was tired of his questions. He just pissed me off."

        "Why are you avoiding him, then?" she asked next, and when I didn't answer right away, she knew she'd caught me. I ran my hands across my face, rubbing slightly at my eyes before raking my fingers through my hair, pushing through the curls.

        "I just -- I needed to get things together," I said quietly, eyebrows furrowed slightly in annoyance at myself. Kinsley stayed quiet, eyes trained on me as I turned to her again. "You know I almost told him that he was going to end up like the other guys, that whatever we had would be over soon because I got bored again."

        "So, then how come you didn't say it to him?" she wondered, even though I had a feeling she knew the answer. There was a light in her eyes, and the faintest some on her mouth that she was trying to hold back, trying to be a kind friend even though I knew her better.

        "I don't know," I moaned, closing my eyes tightly before opening them again. "I didn't want to say something that would upset him."

        "Because?" Kinsley pushed, the smile growing on her face.

        "Oh Kinsley, shut up," I groaned, rolling my eyes. "I know you're not that stupid." She just grinned at me, eyes shining in the dim light.

        The music started to fade, the screaming and cheering of the crowd raising to a defeating roar as All Time Low finished their last song. I looked back towards the stage, biting gently at my lip, watching Jack move to stand beside Zack, and Rian who made his way forward from the drums, the four of them standing in a row before the crowd, taking a couple bows, waving and grinning at the crowd.

        "C'mon," Kinsley said, pulling lightly at my arm. I turned easily, following her away from the stage, outside towards the bus. She was doing what I'd planned on doing, hiding from Jack. We headed back into the bus, both of us falling onto the couch, knees bent and back leaning against opposite arms of the sofa, the tips of our feet almost touching.

        "So, you care about him, that's not a crime," Kinsley said to me. "You care about Hunter, in some way. It's not like you're a brick wall, you're not immune to feelings."

        "I know, I know. It's just different this time. I didn't start caring about Hunter for years, and it's not even that much emotion. All I really want is for him to get over me and find someone who cares about him. But, Jack, I've known him for what, three months? And we only started hooking up a month ago. I don't get it. It's just, it's different."

        "Don't you think that's telling you something, then? Don't you think that means something?" Kinsley asked me, head tilted slightly to the side as she played with a strand of her hair, spinning and twisting it around her fingers.

        "I don't know," I said again, turning to look out the window to my left. The guys were coming out of the arena, talking and laughing, damp clothes and hair visible even from this distance. My eyes followed Jack, watching as his head turned slightly in the direction of our bus. For a moment, I thought he could see me watching, but I remembered next that the windows were darkly tinted so you couldn't see anything inside.

        I chewed lightly on the inside of my cheek, mind racing to make a decision.

        "No," I said suddenly, almost inaudibly, but Kinsley still heard me.

        "What?" she asked immediately, her gaze fixed on my face. I stayed fosuc on Jack, though, watching him until he disappeared into his bus.

        "No," I repeated, head turning to meet her gaze. "It doesn't mean anything." I was shaking my head just slightly as I spoke, as if I was trying to convince myself. "It's just, stupid."

        "Nat," Kinsley sighed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "You can't just say you care about somebody and then change your mind seconds later. It doesn't work like that. I mean, what would you even do? You can't just completely pretend Jack doesn't exist from now on. God, even for you, that's cold."

        "I'm not going to ignore him forever, Kins," I said, "just long enough for the feelings to pass."

        "What feelings? Caring about him? That's not something you can just wait out. You can't do that," Kinsley tried to argue.

        "Yeah? Watch me."