(4) Out of Control: An All Time Low FanFiction Romance

Chapter 66: No Words

        The gnawing uneasines in my stomach seemed to grow as the days passed by. I was really trying to focus everything I had on the songs we were working with, one of the two duets I would be singing and recording with Alex. Only one would be on the record, but Matt wanted to hear the finished product of both and then we'd decide which song we'd choose.

        It had been a long day of singing the same verses over and over again in different pitches and speeds until I got it perfect, and typically, I usually wouldn't have minded spending an entire day in the studio, but Jack hadn't shown up today, and the reson why was getting under my skin more than I thought it would.

        When Matt announced that we were calling it a day, I gathered up my purse and headed for Lauren, pulling her to the side, away from the others.

        "Can you tell me where Jack is staying?" I asked quietly. I knew Lauren and Zack had their own place, as did Stella and Alex. I olny assumed Rian had his own apartment that he could share with Cassadee when she was around, leaving Jack alone, hopefully. I wans't exactly sure, just anticipating, but I was hoping Lauren would ention if he was staying by hismelf. I shifted on my feet, biting at my lip as her eyes rose in surprise.

        "Uh, yeah," she said slowly, writing out the name of the street and apartment number. "He's by himself, by the way. I think he was kind of hoping to have a reason to not share an apartment with the guys," she added, thankfully.

        "Great, thanks," I muttered, holding the paper in my fingers tightly.

        "What are you going to do?" Lauren asked before I had the chance to leave. I held her gaze for a moment, silent, trying to come up with the answer that I didn't have.

        "I really have no fucking clue," I sighed, shaking my head slightly and shrugging before I turned, heading out of the room before anyone else. I found myself walking quickly down the hall to the large glass doors of the building.        

        The sun was almost completely hidden behind the horizon, only illuminating the area with a small amount of light. The rest was provided by street lampe and building lights, creating a yellow-white glow across the sidewalk and the people walking on it. I stepped outside into the warm air, hailing a taxi to take me to the address Lauren had written on the paper.

        While I was sitting in the cab, I started fighting with myself. Twice I almost made the driver stop and let me out, deciding that I was being stupid and I had no reason to go and talk to Jack, and twice I stopped myself, letting my curiosity at what was happening between him and Holly and the simple thought of being near him again keep me in the taxi until it came to a stop in front of an apartment building. I hadn't even noticed, too wrapped up in my own thoughts to notice until the driver snapped my attention, an amused expression on his face as he told me we were where I wanted to go.

        I got lucky, and a couple was heading out, and they held the door for me without questioning me. I gave them a small thank you before taking the stairs, moving quickly until I got to Jack's floor. My eyes drifted over the numbers on the door until I found his and my arm immediately reached up, fist hitting the door heavily.

        I felt my heart race as I stood in front of the closed door, waiting for it to open. A million and one thoughts raced through my head, most of them doubt filled, telling me this was the stupidest idea ever and there was no reason for me to be here. I wasn't this type of person. I never cared abotu anything involving guys untless they were my band mates, who were like brothers. So, why was Jack so different?

        I couldn't wrap my head around hwy he had this effect on me or how he got under my skin, making me care about him in a way I never had before. It was a mystery. I would probably never really understand why I cared, I just did, and that was so frustrating to me.

        I tried to sort through it, but nothing came up that settled the thoughts in my head, and it seemed like forever before the door opened and Jack's dark eyes met mine, hiding any surprise he might have had seeing me at his door. I crossed my arms over my chest, saying the first thing that came to my mind in that moment.

        "Are you and Holly back together?" I blutered out, before he had the chance to say anything and before I had the chance to understand what I was even saying.

        "I don't really see how that's any of your business," Jack started to speak slowly, evenly, but I started talking over him about halfway through, adrenaline coursing through me. I was becoming too wrapped up in the moment to even think about how absolutely stupid I was acting.

        "Are you back together or not?" I repeated slowly, temper showing with my tone.

        "No," he said simply, expression blank, almost lifeless as he stared at me across the threshold. His voice held absolutely no emotion.

        "Then why were you with her?" I asked next, not bothering to care if he wondered how I knew.

        "I still don't see how this is any of your business. I thought you made it perfectly clear that you don't care," Jack said, voice even. I took a deep breath, anger rising.

        "Just answer the fucking question," I growled.

        "I was just ending things, officially," he explained shortly, giving in easily. "And this brings me back to why the hell you're here yelling at me when you've told me you don't give a shit about anyone. How many more times are you going to tell me that you don't care, Nat?"

        I didn't answer right away. Instead, my feet carried me into his apartment, my shoulder brushig his as I stepped into his place. I should have felt relived that he didn't stop me, but that would probably come after. Instead, he shut the door slowly behind us as I spun around to face him.

        "Don't tell me how I feel," I snapped, voice low as I lifted my finger, pointing it at him. I felt us falling back into the argument we'd had a few times before.

        "Well, someone has to do it if you can't make up your own mind!" he snapped back, throwing his arms up in anger.

        "I can make up my own fucking mind," I tried to say over him, but he kept talking, completely ignoring me, making me even more furious.

        "One day you basically tell me to go fuck myself, the next you're breaking down my door because I wanted to end things with my ex, like you even have the right to know anything about it! You need to make up your mind." He pronounced every word carefully, walking a few paces closer as he spoke. "So, what do you want, Natalia? Humor me, why did you come here? Why?"

        I couldn't think of anything to say to him. No words I could conjure up would really express what I wanted better than just showing him.

        I let my bag fall from my shoulder to the ground, taking a few long strides towards Jack. In a matter of seconds, my hands were clamping around the back of his neck and I was pulling his head down, capturing his lips against mine and pushing him until his back hit the door so he couldn't move and I stood as close to him as poeeible. He reacted instantly, hands dropping to the back of my thighs, liftin gme up easily off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his torso as he moved us away from the door, his hands holding my body to his. I twisted my fingers through his hair, keeping his lips moving roughly against mine as he carried me.

        A few moments later, I found myself falling backwards onto the bed, my chest rising and falling heavily with my labored breathing as Jack stripped himself of his t-shirt and crawled over to me, his body resting lightly on top of mine as he pushed his lips back against mine. I crossed my ankles around his calf, pushing my entire body against his, craving the touch and feel I'd managed to ignore for so long.