(4) Out of Control: An All Time Low FanFiction Romance

Chapter 65: I Did

        I couldn't get over the feeling of uneasiness for the next few days. I thought I was doing a damn good job of hiding my discomfort while recording and working on new lyrics Alex brought by the studio for a possible duet, but my bluff was called early on while munching on the salad the secretaries had ordered me.        

        "What's up with you?" Lauren questioed, settling into the open spot on the couch next to me. My legs were crossed, take-out container resting in my lap.

        I glanced in her direction, noticing Matt and Xavier speaking quietly past her shoulder. My eyebrows came together, stopping mid-bite on a piece of lettuce.

        "What are you talking about?" I questioned casually, heart thumping against my ribcage. I couldn't deal with this right now, not witht he record, not with everything I had to do. Jack wasn't suposed to be a concern.

        "You've been super quiet since we finished the last song," she commented, leaning back in her seat.

        She was here almost as often as Zavk was. It made sense, that she'd spend her days not working on things for the band with her boyfriend. She got to see me almost every day, and at this point, I was wishing she wasn't around to notice the difference.

        "Just focused, I guess," I shrugged, stabbing my fork into my food without lifting it back to my mouth. For whatever reason, I didn't have much of an appetite anymore.

        It felt strange, sitting there with Lauren while Zack, Rian, Alex, Mav and Xavier hovered over the soundboard, talking into the speaker for Porter to sing the chorus to the song we were recording one more time. Jack had yet to show up, and I tried not to let any ideas filter through my brain.

        But my main concern was if she was going to pusht he subject, because I was never going to admit it in front of Jack's band mates that I actually gave a damn about the fact that he'd been hanging out with his ex-girlfriend.

        "You aren't focusing the way you have been," she commented, giving a smile. "Are you going to tell me easily what's bothering you or do I have to wait until you finally crack?"

        Lauren and I had grown close in a strange way. Even if she was only a few years older than me, it felt like she was one hundred years wiser. It was like she could read me the same way my mom could, or my dad. She was like the older sister I didn't have, because she could read me like a book.

        "I'll probably take it to the grave with me," I shrugged, mouth twitching up on the side before meeting her gaze. "But maybe one of those two things will happen before then."

        As I finished the last word of my mouth, the door to the studio opened. I looked up, recognizing an extremely familiar face, fingers clenching tighter around the plastic fork.

        He barely glanced in my direction, walking straight to Matt andthe boys before giving Alex a knowing grin and raised his eyebrows. Rian and Zack seemed to do the same, like they all knew some big secret that the rest of us weren't in on.

        "Have a good lunch, Jack?" Alex taunted like a child, gaining an eye roll from Rian.

        The conversation faltered, and suddenly Jack's voice and all the others were just a blur of mumbles, laughs and jokes. I couldn't help but overanalyze that sentence that could've meant nothing at all. He could have been genuinely interested in his lunch, but my mind automatically jumped to the thought of who he could have been eating lunch with.

        Lauren dropped the subject of my awkward mood when Zack approached her, leaning down and kissing her then asking if she wanted a drink. She rolled her eyes, before giving him a shove, telling him she was fine. He didn't seem to believe her statement, but disappeared into the small crowd in front of the sound booth anyway.

        My mind kept replaying how they looked at each other. I could literally see in their eyes how they felt, for Christ's sake. Stella and Alex, Kinsley and Zave, Lauren and Zack, all with those goddamned looks that made absolutely no sense to me at all.

        "How'd you and Zack meet?" I asked randomly, focusing on her rosy cheeks when lifting my head. She ran her fingers through her hair, biting the inside of her cheek lightly.        

        I was almost surprised that in a few months I'd gotten to know her, I hadn't even asked.

        "Uh -- we used to date in high school," she said bluntly, like she wanted to keep the conversation between the two of us. I nodded for her to continue. "But then he left for tour after we graduated and we broke up and I took off to California with my best friend at the time, Craig."

        "How in the hell did you guys get back together then?" I asked, confused. She was keeping it vague for a reason, but I was curious. I never beat around the bus with anyone, even if it might have made them uncomfortable.

        She let out a breath, searching my eyes and licking her lips once. "When the guys were out here recording their last album last summer, I ran into Stella when I worked at Starbucks. We got together a few times, and I didn't have any intention of even talking to Zack at all. But, we saw each other and tried to be friends, but it didn't work out and we ended up getting back together."

        "Why weren't you planning on seeing him?"

        She faltered, unsure of what to say or do next. It seemed, though, with my narrowed eyes, she forced herself to continue.

        "I sort of ran away from Zack after my first year of college. Things didn't work out between us, and I wanted to get away and my best friend Craig transferred to UCLA, so I went with him. But, he went to Europe for the summer, and since I was always so focued on school, Stella and the guys were my only friends here.

        "When Stella and I hung out, I didn't want to see Zack at all. I tried to avoid him, but it only lasted so long before we talked and tried to be friends again. One thing led to another, and we both wanted to get back into a relationship. Craig wasn't happy because they hate each other, and so I had to choose whether I wanted my best friend, Craig, or Zack."

        "And you chose Zack," I said simply, perplexed. I thought about Kinsley, and how I would never give her up for a boy. She was my best friend, nothing oculd ever have changed that.

        Lauren shook her head with a smile, crossing her arms over her chest. "It was more complicated than that. I lied to both of them all summer, not really telling them about the other. Craig and I were in an open relationship, and when he came home and found out about Zack, he basically packed up and left. Zack came and found me, and we worked things out. I tried to be friends with Craig, but he didn't want that.

        "I just realized that Zack meant more to me because he was alwyas there, even when I pushed him away one hundred times for stupid reasons. He always stayed when I didn't deserve any of it." She paused, smiling to herself. "It's like, when you find that one person in your life that never gives up on you, even when you tried to give up on them, you know they are just -- right for you. You know?"

        Yeah, I did.