(4) Out of Control: An All Time Low FanFiction Romance

Chapter 12: Forgotten

        "Are you sure you have everything, sweetie? Enough clothes..." My mom rambled on, causing me to roll my eyes before cutting her off. There was a slight pinching in my chest, a feeling I knew was coming from the knowledge that I wouldn't see my parents again for two months. I was trying to brush it off, knowing that playing a show every night or every other night and being with the group on tour would distract me from missing home, but being on the road was something I'd have to get used to. It was something my parents would never get used to.

        "I've got everything I need, mom. I'll be fine," I sighed, giving her a small smile. She nodded slightly, her hands patting my shoulders slightly, looking as if she was struggling to hold back tears.

        "Well, call us when you land, okay?" she saif softly, lips twitching into a weak smile as she pulled me into one more hug and then backed away, hand resting over her mouth as she watched me, eyes sad. I could hear the guys' mom's around me, sounding the same way mine did.

        "Okay, mom," I muttered, turning to the side to give my dad another hug before taking a step towards the van. Kinsley was leaning against the passenger side door, legs crossed over one another, arms across her chest as she waited for us to say goodbye. She was bringing us to the airport and then coming back. We were flying to LA to meet with Lauren and All Time Low, and tomorrow we were flying to Pennsylvania. Kinsley was meeting us there and after that it was a two month road trip.

        The excitement had Maverick and Porter even more rowdy than usual, and Xavier was being me with Kinsley. I wasn't going to turn around, knowing that whatever talking, or lack of, would make me want to vomit. They wouldn't even be away from each other for more than two days, but I could imagine they were acting like they'd go weeks without seeing each other.

        It made me glad that I wasn't committed to anyone, especially Hunter. His parents had come out to say a quick goodbye, wishing us luck, but I hadn't seen him, not that I was entirely expecting it. He usually got over his problems quickly, especially if it was about me, or us, so I was just waiting to see if he'd make his last minute appearance before we left.        

        Thinking about him made me glance towards his house, seeing that Hunter was still nowhere to be seen. I turned, watching as Kinsley made her way around the van with Porter, Maverick and Xavier each making their way into the back seat. I sighed, walking forward and reaching for the handle. Kinsley looked over at me as I opened the door, eyes darting from my face, out the window to my right and then back at my face.

        "I think you have one more person who wants to say bye," she said softly, head nodding in the direction behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know who she was talking about. I closed my eyes for a moment, shaking my head softly before ducking back out of the car.

        I walked quickly up to Hunter's front porch, knowing that he wouldn't come any closer than that. If he wanted to talk, he wanted the conversation to reach our ears only.

        "If you have something to say, make it quick. We have a flight to catch," I sighed, coming to a stop in front of him, hand shoved deep into the pockets of my pea coat. Hunter's eyes stayed focused above my head for a moment, his breath coming out in clouds from the freezing weather. He hadn't even put a coat on to come out, and I could only imagine how cold he was. I was freezing, even with my thick coat and a beanie covering my head.

        "Seriously, Hunter," I added impatiently, meeting his eyes as he looked down at me.

        "I wanted to apologize for what I said to you before," He said softly, apologizing even if his voice sounded cold and hard. I shrugged softly, breathing in and out heavily. I saw this coming. This was typical of him, apologizing even if he was right. It seemed like he never stayed mad at me for long, he always wanted me to know that even if he said something hurtful, that he was over it and wanted us to be okay. That was another little thing that got under my skin sometimes. If he was mad at me, I wanted him to be mad. I wanted him to be furious and not come around the next day apologizing.

        "Doesn't make it any less true," I told him, causing him to roll his eyes. I smirked softly, watching his lips turn up into a slight smile. As little as his anger towards me would affect me, I was glad that he wanted me to leave with us on even ground. Typically, I didn't care if he was angry with me or not, but with my leaving for two months, this time was just slightly different.

        "I just think you really need to let it go," I added. "I'm not angry for the same thing you are, especially now. I'm going to be all over the place a lot and relationshps are just too much work." I knew I was being blunt, but I didn't think I was being hurtful. It was the only thing I could think of for one last shot at trying to get him to understand that there would never again be an 'us'. It was just me and him from now on, and I was still waiting for him to see that.

        "We don't need to be exclusive," he tried, but as I looked at him I could tell he wasn't placing any bets on it. I knew as well as he did that this offer wasn't as serious as previous one's he'd made. I think he was maybe starting to get the hint that he needed to let his go.

        "We both know there's not a shot in hell at that," I said quickly. "And that's the farthest thing from what you want," I added, watching Hunter's head move slowly up and down. As much as I could have tried to deny it, I knew him better than that. I knew he wanted commitment, somebody he could be with in the long run, and that would never be us.

        Kinsley's car horn sounded from behind me, and I assumed it was either Porter or Maverick. If our parents weren't standing across the yard, I would have flipped him off, but instead, I just rolled my eyes, even if they couldn't see me as I was facing Hunter.

        "That's my cue," I said, taking my hands from my pockets to wrap them around Hunter's neck, pulling him into a short hug, more for his own sake then for mine. I could have just walked away, but there was something here that was making me try to smooth over the bumps.

        "If you're around, you should come out and hear us play," I offered, raising my eyebrows slightly. I wasn't sure why I was trying so hard to make Hunter feel better. It was unlike me to care this much about how people I knew felt, especially Hunter.

        "Yeah, maybe," he said, and after giving him a slight nod, I turned and hopped off his portch, heading back to the van, knowing that he, along with everyone else, had their eyes on me.

        Usually, I couldn't care less about the way other people felt, but this was me, for some reason, trying to make up for the fact that I was hurting him. I knew I was, and it annoyed me that I was even remotely bothered by it, but maybe there was some part of me that actually cared about Hunter; not in a romantic way, or even a friendly way, but he meant something to part of me. Maybe because he was always there wheneber I wanted to go back to him, and no matter how many times I threw him away, he still stuck around for me to turn to. Maybe, maybe not. I knew whatever I was feeling would be gone soon, forgotten and replaced by anticipation of uncoming events. Besides, I was never one to care for somebody for so long, with the exception of my family and a few friends.

        Just as I thought, sitting in Kinsley's van and driving away with my friends pulled me away from whatever I'd been feeling, and I'd forgotten about it as if it'd never even happened.