Ordinary - (Dabi x OC)

It Never Forgets

Top pic credit: julsgax

Dabi POV:

I guessed it could be called 'ironic.'

Nah. 'Psychopathic,' maybe? Karma?

I don't know if there's a word for it. For how I'm feeling. For people like me.

Whatever it is, I guess it's funny when you think about it.

How my life turned out. How I have no problem sabotaging and destroying everything around me, including myself.

How I don't need to blink twice when I decide I want someone dead. How I can look them straight in their eyes, ignoring their fears and pleads as they take their last breath and die by my hands.

I won't say it makes me sleep soundly at night, because the sound of my own dying screams and charring skin are enough to keep me awake past all hours of the night.

But, I will say....I really thought I'd become great at feeling nothing.

I thought I had it all down. I still do.

My goal stays the same. My purpose stays the same. I have no interest in changing or extending my life. No interest in becoming a better person and having that cute, little redemption arc that everyone and their fucking mother seems to get nowadays.

I'm not the tragic villain who just needs 'a little saving.' I'm not the guy who secretly has that 'soft side,' or anything like that.

And I'm definitely not the man who's ever supposed to fall in love.

I'm supposed to be the man who's already been broken so badly, there's nothing that can ever break him again. The man who's supposed to live and die alone, with nothing but his demons and resentment keeping him still breathing.

And, yeah. I am. No, I'm not just saying that. I am. I'm a damn hollowed shell of a human being. My moral conscience is hanging on by a literal thread-a thread I only recently discovered a few months ago, as I already thought I'd been gone for good.

Living and doing good deeds don't interest me. Positivity and laughter don't excite me. And seeing someone sad and sobbing hasn't ever had any effect on a sociopath on me.

All of it is true. Everything I just said is true.

And, apparently, it's also not.

Because, seeing Violet cry-and cry over me, at that, made me hurt and feel more things in five minutes than I've felt in years.

It felt like a literal stab to the chest, and her devastated face is now burned into my mind for all eternity. When I kick the bucket soon, it may even be the last thing I'm forced to see. A nice parting gift, I guess, before I rot in hell. After all, the devil's gotta find something to make me suffer, right? That's about the only thing left in my hollow psyche that would do the trick.

I can't stop thinking about it. I've done horrible things daily, never going back to reminisce and feel guilty about them. I've murdered innocent, good people.

But, hearing my sunshine's cries. Watching her shake, and panic-remembering our last day together so strongly in her mind.

A day I hoped-deep down hoped....that she would forget about.

Because as much as I say I want everyone to suffer and remember who I am when the time comes, the same isn't true for Violet. It's never been true.

I wanted her to forget about me. Sure, I'd probably say some stupid shit if I knew she actually moved on and forgot about me. I'd probably call her a worthless bitch and kid myself, saying shit about how 'the whore moved on so fast,' 'cant even take the time to be sad over her dead fiancé, huh,'