(BOOK 3 ) Chapter 19 - What goes around comes back around..

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I'm running out of patients
'cos I can't believe what the hell
I'm hearing
And speaking of hell
It don't compare to this heat
That I am feeling

I love you too much
It shows
All my emotions go
Out of control oh whoa whoa
Good for you bad for me
When I can hardly see
From the tears that flow oh whoa

Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten
With my eyes closed
'cos ladies take it in
And get comp- oh oh oh 'sure
Before I lose it get comp- oh oh oh 'sure

I am gunna breathe slow
Count from one to ten
With my eyes closed
'cos ladies take it in
And get comp- oh oh oh 'sure
Ladies never lose comp- oh oh oh 'sure

Not gunna lie
Or even try
You've got my wheel spinning
And I ain't the one to show
The gun
'cos that means you will be
Winning oh yeah

I love you too much
It shows
All my emotions go
Out of control oh whoa whoa
Good for you bad for me
When I can hardly see
From the tears that flow oh whoa


Somebody better hold me back
You're lucky I know how to act
(so lucky ain't gunna attack)
I'm being calm and cool
But believe me you
It's taking everything to just
Breathe breathe breathe ...

 

Breathe Slow


I woke up before Omari the next morning.

I had been waking up every hour to make sure that he was still here, and he was, my head was still on his chest that was going up and own slowly. His breathing was shallow but he looked so peaceful, you would have never known what had happened last night. I looked at the time and I thought I should get up and explain to my mum what had happened last night before she left for work. I got out trying not to make any noise but Omari kept his hand firm on my shoulder so I didn’t get very far.

‘’You awake ?’’ I whispered, I thought maybe he was just being strong all the time and I didn’t want to just wake him up.

‘’I haven’t slept.’’ He said still with his eyes closed. I nodded.

‘’I’m just going to speak to my mum, I’ll be back.’’ I spoke as softly as I could; I was scared that I was going to break him. I kissed his cheek knowing that I had morning breath. His hold relaxed and I tiptoed out of the room, trying not to make too much noise. I picked up my wrap on the way out and went towards the direction I  could hear speaking, which was the kitchen downstairs. I walked inside just as Jim and Mum where whispering something to each other, but when I walked in they stopped.

‘’Hey hunny, how’s Omari ?’’

‘’I don’t know.’’ I replied truthfully, I looked up the stairs wondering if he could hear me.

‘’What happened ? Jim said that he came in a state, apologised and asked to see you ?’’ I nodded.

‘’Something happened last night, but I don’t know.’’

‘’Let me talk to him before I leave yeah.’’ I wanted to argue but I didn’t know what to do. Omari wouldn’t disrespect my mum so maybe she could find out what was going on. We both went upstairs and whilst I went to brush my teeth and wash my face my mum went into my room. I tried to eavesdrop as much as I could from the bathroom but that didn’t really help. I finished just as my mum was leaving my room. I raised my eyebrows expecting her to explain but she just walked away back into her own room. What?

I opened my room and Omari was now sitting at the edge of my bed with his head in his hands, dressed in the same clothes that he came my house in last night. I sat next to him and rested my head on his shoulders. I wanted him to tell me what was wrong, I wanted to share the weight that he had on his shoulders. But I didn’t want to scare him off so we sat there and whilst Omari looked like he was thinking, I waited for him to be ready to speak to me.

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