"Hello." I walked towards her as she faced away from me.
No response came, the silence was getting too loud now. I could only watch her back, this girl who had no way of turning to me. I could tell by her hair, I could tell by her uniform, I had every way of letting me know that this girl was her, I reached out to her. Since I knew who it was I reached out and yet I couldn't grasp her.
"Wake up..." I heard a voice mellow in my ears.
My eyes fluttered open, it took me a moment before I fully acknowledged my surroundings. My wife was in my arms and she was smiling beautifully at me, seemingly peaceful as my body just fizzled out and I turned to her.
"Good morning." She greeted me with that soft voice, the only tone that actually made me still and listen.
"Good morning." I greeted her back.
This was our normal morning routine, a simple hello and I would simply wake up. I just knew that I was safe with her, perhaps something like this meant I was free.
"Ara..." She grinned suddenly as she looked down. "Are you perhaps excited?" She began moving hand down and stroked the fabric covering my bulge.
This was another part of it, she would always notice my needs and I would do the same for her; we were just that in sync.
Next thing I knew she was on top of me, stuck with that smirk on her face before she leaned in and pressed her lips against mine. It was a quick exchange, before she parted away with a huff.
It was quick, before we started.
The bedsheets may have been stained afterwards.
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News quickly spread around the school about the new couple, a few were quick to support it; namely the friends of the new couple. Sadly, the same couldn't be said about the majority. Many of them felt a bad stench come from the new pairing, it was just something that they found odd. The most popular girl was now dating the gloomy loner, the confusion only spread as much as the shock when they found out who confessed to whom.
Similarly, the feeling of envy which came from the boys seemed to have spoiled the mood. Each time the boy walked they cast a glance full of anger and jealousy. In their minds, they couldn't comprehend how this loner boy with such a gloomy exterior managed to become a couple with Ichinose Honami. However, that wasn't enough to say that everything was fully ruined.
Ichinose gladly walked hand in hand with Ayanokouji, she hummed happily with a smile as they traversed the campus. It has been two days since they started dating, and despite the obvious glares and jealous stares; she ignored it.
Ayanokouji on the other hand couldn't shake the thought of someone tailing them. Just like before that same shadow followed him, he couldn't see the face but that same presence marked something wrong. He tried to ignore that shadow, that looming figure but whenever it was near he unconsciously gripped onto Ichinoses hand like a vice. Even now, the girl who was holding his hand felt that something was wrong with the person holding hers.
"Kiyo?" She called out to him worriedly.
"Oh, sorry." He quickly apologised before loosening his grip.
He had made great strides with the girl he was walking hand in hand with, but that same stare from the figure was aimed at him. He didn't want to worry the girl walking hand in hand with him, he maintained his gaze straightforward; confusion setting in quickly for the boy. He doesn't know what this shadow looked like, yet that presence was suffocating.
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I was currently in class, the teacher had put down some notes for us to copy and I absentmindedly took heed of any of his lecture.
I was bored and looking out the window seemed like a better way to pass the time. Even the times when Horikita would send an amusing quip were gone. She remained her diligent self and kept on copying down the notes.
"Hahh..." I sighed exasperatedly, each second that passed by slowly drained me.
The only good thing was that this was the last class of the day, I was eagerly awaiting the bell and as the minute hand struck the departure time.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
The bell rang, signalling the end of the school day. Once the shrill of the bell subsided, we all began to pack up; the teacher who had been overlooking our class bid farewell and made his way out of the bustling class.
Chatter and more chatter. I slung my bag over my shoulder and made my move to leave. Not before a cough stopped me in my tracks.
"Ahem..." I turned to face her. "Can we talk?" She asked, I nodded at her request.
My neighbour had something to tell me, with her face still and straight; she stood up from her seat and eyed me before beckoning me to follow her. She led me out of the class and I followed her into a secluded area behind the school. With my eyes wandering around, I saw no one near and with her back turned to me; I waited for her to speak.
Silence was the only thing that enveloped us, she had her face turned away from me and I merely watched her back.
"Did she follow us all the way here?" I glanced over my shoulder momentarily, I had the preconceived notion that there was no one around; but there she was once again.
"I'll make this quick." My attention was brought back to the girl in front of me.
"You haven't given me a reason for me being here." I told her.
"Yeah yeah, but hear me out." She rolled her eyes at my remark and then proceeded to point a finger at me. "Why are you dating Ichinose?" She inquired, a mean look being plastered on her face as she narrowed her eyes at me.
"Why wouldn't I?" I crossed my arms and matched her gaze. "Are you trying to tell me not to?" I replied with a low tone.
"She is in a rival class, so I don't see why you would date her." She rebuked with a raised voice.
"Are you trying to dictate who I should date? We aren't even that close." I responded, out of malice or contempt I didn't know. She was just pestering me with questions that she had no right to ask.
She grew silent after my response, a face that slowly transitioned into one of subtle understanding before she faced me again. A brief silence that I had no idea how to interpret. She faced me as I faced her and I closed my mouth shut to beckon her to speak.
"You are right." She blankly stated, I couldn't help but notice those quivering lips. "I'm sorry..." She mumbled and it slowly came together, the way she was trying to stifle her tears.
I stayed silent and turned away, it was for the best and I couldn't hear any words that told me to stop. It was the just the wind and as I walked back I tried to ignore the figure that was eavesdropping on us.
I had arrived at my dorm room, kicking off my shoes before heading to the bedroom to get changed. I was more than exhausted after this whole ordeal, in fact I was exhausted after the day. It was bad enough that I had to deal with the schools policies and ways, I also had to deal with my own social life.
That meant dealing with my neighbour and having to please my girlfriend. Soon enough a special exam would rock up once again to break this respite, but right now I already had more problems than I needed.
"Hahh..." I sighed before slumping down on my chair. "Dealing with Maya and Honami is too much..." I mumbled silently.
I looked up at the ceiling and imagined my next course of action.
"Dealing with Maya is the worst, since she is my neighbour..." I thought.
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"Papa! Papa!" The two kids ran up excitedly to their father, grabbing onto his legs. The twins smiled upwards at the father who had just returned from work.
"Oh! Hello dear!" The feminine voice of a person came from the kitchen. "Welcome home." She peaked her head out from behind the door and smiled happily seeing the trio all bunched up together.
"Hello Sae." He greeted her before bending down and picking both of the kids up.
"Is that all?" She cooed with a grin before approaching him.
"No." He replied before planting a kiss on her, causing the twins to grimace.
"Ewww...." The two moaned, averting their eyes from the husband and wife.
This was the life of a beautiful family, the family of Ayanokouji Kiyotaka and Ayanokouji Sae. They have been married for five years now, with a set of twins who were three years old.
It was here where it began, a life that began beautifully for the couple who were presented with a plethora of gifts. They couldn't be more blessed, yet with all good things come the negatives.
The first of the four timelines, the original that stemmed from Ayanokoujis success in achieving a perfect peaceful life. Sadly, it was the first where he experienced loss. Additionally, it was the first that caused all of the problems for him.
"Huh?" She groaned before sitting up from her bed.
A distant memory slowly flowed through her mind and that caused tears to slowly form. Replaying that scene over and over again, a painful memory that seemed so distant but so close.
The past version of Chabashira Sae had been presented with a view of her future. The glimpses and small fragments were enough that she remained fixed to her bed, paralysed by the sudden surge of information.
Faced with such images, she quietly looked down and sobbed. Uncertainty and trepidation flowing through her. Her future which was shown looked bleak. However, she didn't know that it was from a different universe. The images shown to her were from a different reality, yet it felt so close to her heart.
The earlier indifference that was once shown to Ayanokouji had changed now, replaced by a mixture of love and hate. It was quick and sudden, she didn't know what to make of it. However, what she did know was that she needed to do something.
She was at school now and with her student all alone in the classroom, she decided to approach him. The clueless Ayanokouji was fast asleep on the table, exhausted and carefree. Seeing such an image another memory and vision flowed through her mind once again.
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"Papa! Papa!" My two kids, I remember their voices.
I don't know why I have these unknown memories, but I know they belong to me and him. The way he kissed me gently and pampered me, the way he smiled and greeted me, the way he loved me like I've never felt something similar before.
I wanted that feeling, those feelings which resided in these visions; something that didn't become a memory but would be reality right now. All I had to do was push for it, maybe tell him that I love him and we could have that family.
I watched his sleeping figure and my eyes immediately became glossy, words and thoughts meant nothing here. I could only stand still and watch him. The boy who was my future husband, sleeping peacefully without a care in the world.
"If only you knew..." I trained my gaze on him, I didn't know what to do.
I didn't want to intrude in his life, these thoughts were all just my own feelings and desires. My whole life which I have lived with regrets and I could now with him live one without. I merely watched his figure in contemplation, to start a life with him and to have that happy family. To have him cherish me as my memories have shown.
Change the path of my future right now, so that bleak end couldn't happen. My life with him and a happy and fruitful one.
"Can I have that?" I wondered, I wanted to have something that I can look back on and say that I pushed for it.
To say that I didn't fail and have regrets, I wanted to be with him for however long I can. I wanted to make the most of my time with him, I didn't want to leave him all sad. I wanted to have him happy and by my side watching our kids grow.
"Was this too much to ask for?" I asked to no one, I kept that question to myself because no answer would suffice.
I stood there still with these thoughts, the boy who I had fallen in love with had no idea about our future and probably never would. I could watch him lamenting how reluctant I was being.
The way he seemed so calm, he let his guard down and I was the only one present to see it. I moved towards him hesitantly with my mind a mess. I didn't know how to approach him and tell him my feelings, all I knew was that he was the only thing I could see.
The silence remained and when I stood by him, my eyes travelled down his somber and peaceful expression. I wanted to reach out and pat him on the head and to whisper.
I knew I was too old for him, I knew that despite my regrets I always looked forward to something. This whole adoration of him stemmed from my vision of the future. I didn't know when I fell for him, my age impacted my judgment because despite how long we may be together; one day I would leave first.
"I'm sorry..." I looked at him apologetically.
I could apologise because right now you are asleep and I am looking, not moving a muscle. I wanted to apologise for what I did to you, for the burden I put on your shoulders and for who may care. I didn't feel light after releasing this guilt in my heart.
It was heavy, the way he made his presence mark me. He had no idea that the woman he had married and had kids with was standing beside him.
Perhaps my body moved on its own, my own consciousness was taken over by the immense pain of knowing our future. I let a tear slip from my eyes and leaned in towards him.
"I love you." I stated silently before pressing my lips on his forehead.
I had to fight the oncoming stream of tears until I safely pulled away from him. He was still asleep and I cracked a smile.
The boy who was my future husband didn't know me, a tender and happy fantasy was far away from me now. Today my heart broke into a million pieces, the closest thing to happiness for me was here. A way to change the future for us both was here, yet I resisted and backed away.
I backed away slowly from him and headed to the door, the way he was still asleep didn't bother me because he didn't need to hear the words of an old woman like myself. However, I wish that my voice carried through into what he was dreaming about, if it did then maybe a chance might appear.
This may be the biggest regret of my life, I don't know when another chance might appear for the both of us to be together like this. I stand true to my feelings and despite my hesitation, one day I would be able to tell him. Sadly, my dreams may become sour and my mind torn into two.
I stood at the door and sent a longing look towards him, the boy who made my life happy and I was the one to let him go. I was usually selfish, but right now I wasn't.
I didn't care about my bleak end, what I cared about was the happiness we had before it. If there was a way to prevent it, if there was some sort of salvation for the two of us. If I confessed now.
I exited the room. The boy was fast asleep not knowing about anything we would have ever had.
"Why me?" I wiped the tears away as I tried to remain composed.
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A small tear trickled down from my eye, she was beautiful in and out but I failed to see it. I had to forgive her because I knew what had happened, her love for me stemmed from the fact that she was going through what I was going through.
"I'm sorry Sae..." I mumbled before sitting up.
She had left the room five minutes ago but I still felt her presence, she had left an impact with those words. The sincerity behind them was enough to make me shed a tear, there was a particular reason why and it made me feel.
I knew our future together, she knew it too and that's why she said those words. I had to restrain myself from getting up, I knew the details all too well about each future. However, ours was one that I had the biggest regrets about.
My first timeline where we fell for each other, a story of forgiveness and love that I idealised because we gave each other sincerity and a proper response. Our two kids that I named Haru and Sakura.
"I can't stop..." I couldn't stop crying, I have been doing that a lot lately.
She knew, she was the first person that I came across from the four that knew. Perhaps if I had chosen her than this would all be over quickly, but I couldn't; my mind wouldn't let me until I done everything.
I had my own memories, it was too much for a person to harbour the emotions and memories of four different timelines. I tried my best but despite racking my brain, I couldn't come up with a proper solution.
I was stuck with an idea that this was all a test and magic wasn't real. This was just the universe and it's tricks, the fantasies that I harboured and delusions. However, the reality was that I had a future with each girl.
"I'm sorry Sae." I apologised.
She was my first and I didn't know what to say when it was revealed. However, the bleak end we both met told me that I would be hurt the most with yoo.
"But now that you did that..." I mumbled.
My decisions and thinking to stay away was changing, I had to confront her. The two kids we would have and that life; if there was a way to prevent that end then maybe.
However, I had the other three. I didn't know what to do anymore, confronting them head on was something I didn't know what to do with. I was already dating one of them, I sadly had to let go of the other and one of them has no idea whatsoever.
My future with each girl depended on my choices right now. I knew our future together.
Yet, I could only apologise because of my indecisiveness. The way each girl held some sway on my heart was too much. It rendered me silent and demoralised. From people who I didn't care about to people who became the most important in my life. I had an impossible choice to make.
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A/N
This is hard and strenuous to write, but hope you like it. Have a blessed day.
Thanks for reading
3327 words