"Hang on, give me a second." I place my hand on Aaron's shoulder and lean into him while I pause for a moment to catch my breath. He places his hand below my elbow and holds me upwards.
"You're so unfit Hayes. This is the fourth time we've stopped and we left home only a kilometre ago."
"You try carrying two and a half kilos on you at all times."
He laughs at me while giving me a confused facial expression. "Have you seen what I lift at the gym? Hailey, I could carry two and a half kilos with my little finger." He holds his little finger up at me and wriggles it like a worm.
I push at his chest and start walking again. I can see my dream home ahead of us. It's 200m ahead, but I'll purposely make a pit stop again, just so I can have a look at it. The night sky doesn't do its beauty justice. I haven't seen it in the daylight in weeks. I can't wait to walk past here on morning family walks with Harry and our girl. It brings a smile to my face just imagining walking her in the pram whilst Harry is beside me. Knowing him, he will fight me for dibs on who gets to push her.
"What are you smiling about?" Aaron asks me.
"Life. My future. I can't wait for her to get here."
"You won't be saying that when you're running on two hours of sleep over three days. And wait until you get to the four month sleep regression. Fuck me." He pauses when he sees a worried expression on my face. "Na, I'm kidding. I mean, I'm not kidding - that really does happen. But it's all worth it. When you're exhausted and covered in vomit, a little smile or even the tiniest yawn will brighten your mood."
"Will you and Rach have a third baby?"
He lets out a deep sigh while pondering the thought. "I don't know. I'm happy with my family now. All I ever wanted was a boy and a girl and I am lucky enough to have both. Of course, adding another member into the family would be great, but I really am content now. Besides, Tori's got enough personalities to cover four children, so..."
I hit his arm and laugh at him. "Her multiple personalities can be a handful at times, but we love her to death for it. I seriously love her so much that it hurts my heart. I love little Tyde too, he is my gorgeous little man, but it's impossible to be in a bad mood around Tori."
"Yeah, she's nothing like Rachel and I. We're both reserved, meanwhile Tori is really out there. Even more so than you."
"Yeah, T is next level. What do you think she will do when she gets older?"
"The question is, what won't she do? First she said she's going to be a fireman, then work at the supermarket checkout, a professional lawn mower, a singer, a dancer, back to a fireman, a hairdresser, a professional pooper, a singer again and currently she's going to be a puzzle doer because she finished her Barbie puzzle and claims that she is the best in the world at it."
"Honestly, whatever that girl does she will succeed. I really think she would be good in acting. She loves being in front of the camera, she's bubbly and also outgoing. She is great at telling lies which means she can act pretty damn well."
He smiles while shaking his head. "
We reach my Hampton's dream. The most gorgeous house in this street. I stop walking and Aaron scoffs. I stare up at the beautiful home and notice that one of the lights is on upstairs. I can see boxes in the room. Lots of boxes.
"You aren't seriously stopping again are you? When is Harry coming back so that I don't have to wake up at midnight to come and walk with you?"
When I don't answer, Aaron continues speaking.
"It's been sold."
I instantly look over at him, hurting my neck because I moved my head too quickly. "What?"
"You know my cousin Jimmy? He's the agent who is in charge of it. It wasn't even on the market. It was apparently a private listing."
"I could cry right now."
Aaron frowns. "Why, did you know the people who live there?"
"No, I wanted to buy it. I mean, I can't afford it. Especially when I basically threw my career away seven months ago. But I would have loved to buy it."
"I'm sure Harry would help you out."
I shake my head in disagreement. "No, I will never rely on Harry for money. I know full well that he could afford it. He could buy any house in this area that he wants. Multiple houses actually. But I wouldn't discuss that with him yet. We need to focus on the baby, not our living situation. For now we will stay at my parent's place. They can help me out while Harry is still on tour as well. Sure it gets a little hectic living at home, especially when your mother is opinionated and controlling. But my parent's are good to me."
We continue walking again, but I keep my eyes on the house while we pass it. I can't help but feel a small ounce of jealousy of the people who brought the house. I am already blessed with so much, I can't have my dream man, my dream career, my dream daughter and my dream house too.
*
After a short walk that ended a little sooner than I had hoped, Aaron and I return home. I can't walk as far anymore. I got so out of breath that Aaron offered to run home and come back with the car to pick me up.
"Why don't you stay the night at ours? The kids would love to wake up to you being there in the morning. You can come for the school run with Tori."
"You know what, I will." I say as I unlock the front door with my key. Aaron turns his flashlight off. He was shining it over the doorknob so that I can see. He places it in his pocket of his navy blue nike hoodie. "Give me five minutes and I'll pack my bags."
"I'll wait in the car for you."
*
The following morning, I wake up to somebody jumping on my bed.
"Tori, stop jumping right now. Hailey's pregnant." Aaron says in an angry tone while pointing at her from the doorway. "You need to be more careful. Think about these things Victoria Lee Smith."
"My Dad only calls me by my full name when I'm in trouble." Tori tells me as she drops to her knees and crawls over to me. "Sorry Aunty Hailey. Did I hurt the baby?"
I pull down the blankets and lift up my black silk shirt. "She's okay. A little startled because she was having a nice nap, but she's okay."
"You talking about you or the baby?" Aaron laughs. "I'm making waffles. What topping do you want?"
"Myself. And are you melting chocolate like you did last time?"
"No, we're out of chocolate. Rach got stuck into it."
"I'll have maple syrup then please." I look over at Tori. "What are you having on your waffles?"
"Vegemite."
I scrunch my nose and poke her stomach. "Ewww." I start tickling her and she falls back on the bed and tries to push my hands away. I stop attacking her and instead pull her in to cuddle. "Vegemite on waffles is gross."
"It's yummy. And I put sprinkles on it too. And strawberries. And pieces of poo. And cockroaches. And bananas. And-" she looks up at the roof while thinking of what else she would like to add to her waffles."
"Anything else? What about some worms from the garden?"
"Maybe one worm."
"Why not two? Extra flavour."
She sighs. "Okay, I guess." Tori looks up at me and places her finger on my right eye. When I close my eye, she plays with my eyelashes. "Aunty Hailey, when is Bethy coming back from the angels?"
The conversations you have with children are incredible. You could be talking about having worms and poo on waffles one minute, to something serious like death the next.
"What did Mum tell you?"
"She said that Bethy has gone to the angels and that I can't see her for some long time. Maybe some hundred minutes." She holds up ten fingers and waves her hands around in the air. "But Mum said that she is with the angels. The angels have had her for so long and they need to share because if they don't share then Daddy will take their toys from them."
I don't know what to say to her. I don't want to say anything that will give her false hope or confuse her. I also don't want to interfere with what Rachel has already told her.
"How about we go ask Mum and see what she's doing?"
"Mum doesn't tell it good."
I point to the door and open my mouth, letting out a small shriek. "Is that your brother awake? I can hear him."
Tori sits up and crosses her arms over her chest while rolling her eyes. She's pissed off. "Aunty Hailey, Tyde is there." She points towards the open door and I can see Tyde sitting on his play mat in the lounge room.
Oh shit.
"Let's go play with him then." I get up out of bed and ignore my urge to pee. Instead I walk over to Tyde who is waving Rachel's shape tape concealer in the air. This kid has an obsession with it. He won't let anyone take it from him. Maybe he will be a makeup artist when he gets older. He can come with me on tour.
"Hello handsome boy." I pick him up and he almost hits me in the head with the concealer. "You almost got me" I say while smiling at him. He laughs at me and tries to hit me in the head with it again. "Oh, don't you hit me." I poke his stomach a couple of times and he laughs at me. He continues trying to hit me in the head with the concealer.
When I grab his hand, he thinks I am trying to take the concealer from him and he starts crying.
"No, no, no. I'm not taking it from you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I put him back on his play mat and he instantly stops crying. "Crocodile tears." I bend down and poke his little button nose. He smiles up at me while waving the concealer around again. Cheeky boy.
"They smell amazing." I say to Aaron as I take a seat on the stool next to Tori at the kitchen island. We watch Aaron pull down the lever on the sandwich press. I reach forwards and steal a blueberry from the bowl. When I try to reach for another one, Aaron swats my hand away.
"Stop it or there will be none left."
While he is telling me off, Tori steals one from the bowl.
Aaron points the spatula at her. "Hey, don't you copy her. She is a bad influence."
Tori laughs at him. "Daddy, there's a spider over there." She points to the wall behind him.
"I'm not falling for that again this time."
She points to the wall again. "Daddy, it's going to jump on you! It's a really really big one. It has forty seven legs and they are super long!"
Aaron sighs. "Yeah, cool. I'm still not looking."
"It's going to eat you!" Tori screams.
He quickly looks over his shoulder and then back at Tori. He catches her hand when she tries to reach for the bowl. "I am onto you, child."
Rachel wheels herself out of the room
She leans down to put the lock on the chair before placing her hands on her knees. I watch as her hands slowly slip down to the backs of her calves. She pushes her right leg out of the foot holder, followed by her left leg. I can feel my eyebrows moving together while I watch her with full concentration. Rachel places both of her feet on the floor before she closes her eyes and lets out a quiet sigh. She places her hands on either sides of the arm rests.
She sits like this for a moment before she does the unexpected. Rachel pushes down on the arm rests with her hands, pulling her lower body up from the chair. My eyes widen and my lips part as I watch my sister who has been immobile for the last seven months, stand to her feet. She holds onto the dining chair for support.
I slide off the chair, almost losing my footing because I misjudged the distance from the stool to the floor. I run over to her and hold my hands out. She grabs onto my hands and uses them to hold herself up instead of the timber chair.
"Oh my god Rach, you're standing." I pull her into a hug. I feel her bodyweight fall onto me as she loses her strength. I can feel tears of joy running down my cheeks as I am here, hugging my sister while we both stand on our two feet. I feel more of Rachel's body weight on me and her legs begin to buckle.
"Help me back into my chair." She says to me and I slowly assist her to sit back in her chair. I bend down and hug her again. "I can't believe it. I can't fuc-I mean, I can't flipping believe it." After the hug, I turn around to face Aaron. "Is this why you asked me to stay the night?" I look back at Rachel. "When did this happen?"
"A week ago. Each day I have been practicing getting up. Yesterday I accomplished it without Aaron's help. My physio reckons that if I keep up my strength and conditioning then I'll be able to stand up for a whole minute next month."
I let out a squeal of excitement and clutch my hands together. "Rachel, you have no idea how happy this makes me. I am so proud of you." I hug her again and I hear her swear under her breath about how many times I am hugging her.
"Alright, get off me. I want waffles." She pushes me away and I walk over to sit back next to Tori.
"Did you know about this too?" I ask Tori. She nods her head while giving me a smug grin. "And you didn't tell me?" I pretend to act shocked.
"It's a surprise." She says to me before looking back at Aaron. I can see her eyeing him suspiciously. When Aaron lips up the sandwich press to take out the first batch of waffles, Tori quickly reaches into the bowl of strawberries and steals some.
"Hey!" Aaron says to her and she laughs in response. She looks between the strawberry and blueberry bowls, contemplating which one she will try to get next. I reach into the bowl and grab a blueberry. Tori squeezes my arm while laughing. "Rachel, sort these two out will you?"
Rachel is too busy glancing around the room. "Is that a phone ringing?"
I listen out for the sound. That's when I too, hear a phone ringing.
"Wait, that's mine."
I climb off the stool and walk into the spare room where I spent the night. I pick my phone up off the bedside table and see Harry's face on my screen. He's FaceTiming me.
"Rachel, do you think you could stand up again and surprise Harry?"
"Give me a few minutes to regain my strength. I'll do it."
"Okay, I'll set my phone down on the bench and have conversation with him. Then you can come over and talk to him then suddenly stand up, yeah?"
She nods her head. "Yeah, I'll roll over and talk to him about the show or something and then I'll hit him with the surprise."
I send her a thumbs up. "Alright, I'm going to answer it." I press the green button which accepts the call. The screen is black for a moment before Harry's face fills the screen. He is laying in bed shirtless with his phone held up in the air above him.
"Good morning" he sings out. Even though it isn't the morning where he is, he is still aware of Sydney's timezone. "How'd you sleep?" He raises an eyebrow. "Wait, where are you? You're not at home?"
I walk over to the kitchen and place my phone against the box where the sandwich press belongs. "Morning, no I'm not home. Look who I'm with." I tap on Tori's arm and she leans closer to me so that she is in frame. Aaron walks over and slides her chair closer to mine.
"Morning."
"Aaron, lovely apron." Harry laughs when he sees Aaron in Rachel's apron which says on it 'not all superheroes wear capes, some wear aprons'. "I seen an apron with a guys body wearing a mankini. I'm going to get it for you."
"Stuff the apron, just get me a mankini. I'd look great in it."
"Mate, I can't have you in a mankini around me. Your body is ripped as. You'll make me feel insecure."
'You're insecure, don' know what for..." Aaron starts singing.
Harry throws his phone down on the bed beside me. "I walked into that one." He picks up his phone with a cheeky smile on his face. "How's little miss Tori?"
"Forget Tori, ask me how I'm doing." Rachel says as she rolls over to us. I move the phone and the box closer to the end of the table so that Tori's full body is in the frame. "I seen a video of you spitting water into the air on stage last night. That was impressive."
"I'm good at it, aren't I? That wasn't my best one. I've done it better before."
"How do you do it without choking?"
"It takes many years of training." He winks at her. "Lot's of mouth work."
"Stop talking shit, Styles."
Tori looks straight to Aaron. "She said the S word again!"
"She is very naughty. That's one less waffle for her now."
"What's taking so long with them? You know what, I'll come and make it myself." She puts her wheelchair lock on and begins the same process as she did earlier with pushing out her legs from the footrest and then using the arm rests to push her body weight upwards.
Aaron walks over to her and stands beside her for support. She lets go of one of the arm rests and uses Aaron's arm for support instead. She then holds onto him with her other hand as she slowly rises to her feet. I watch as Harry stares at her in the same amount of shock as I did before.
"Wah-hey-hey!" He pumps his fist in the air. "Look at you go, fuck me." He smiles into the camera. "Rachel, you are a legend. Look at you."
I'm waiting for Tori's comment about Harry swearing, but I distract her by throwing a blueberry at her head. The berry lands on the floor so she jumps off her stool to pick it up and eat it.
"This is incredible, I'm so proud of you. I wish I could give you a big hug."
"In a little over a weeks time you can. How many days has it been since my sister banished you? Four? Five?"
"She banished me five days ago. I'm not allowed back for another nine days."
Aaron helps Rachel sit back in her chair and I give her my phone so she can speak to Harry. While those two have a catch up session, Tori and I eat the first two waffles which Aaron made for us. I drizzle maple syrup onto the bronzed surface and then add a small handful of strawberries and blueberries.
Meanwhile, Tori is decorating hers by placing one berry at a time.
"What are you making?" I ask her. She is placing them in what looks to be a circle with a line in the middle.
"It's a love heart, silly." She says as if I definitely should have known that.
"Oh, you're right. Silly me."
She picks up the maple syrup and pours a copious amount onto the waffle.
"Leave some syrup for the rest of us." Aaron says to her while placing another two waffles into the sandwich press.
"I'm going to take it all so you can't have any." She says to him with a cheeky grin.
I glance over at Rachel who is still conversing with Harry. I stare at my big sister in awe. She truly is an inspiration. She has come so far these past few months. From hospital bed-ridden, to standing to her feet. The next goal is for her to be strong enough to walk down the isle for the wedding at the end of the year.