30/31 11:53-12:01 Jan
I'm so tired
I want to stop typing and just lay here and rest.
But if I lay on my back staring up through the ceiling and to the oblivion inside my brain the thoughts will start.
Only a few at first then it's a tsunami.
I've got to be busy from the time I wake up to the time if all asleep.
I want to cry but I don't have energy.
Even writing this is painful and hard but I want to know that when I make it I can look back on what I exactly felt on this occasion and finally let myself believe it got better.
I want the "it will get better" to turn into "it did get better"
What if it's just some cruel thing people say to make us keep going.
They will say on our third last breath "it will get better"
On my second last breath I will believe my last will be better.
Only to ultimately to be completely let down.
Unless dying means getting better and I won't wait around listening to the same lie.
Everyone tells lies but this is the biggest one.
"It. Won't. Get. Better."
Or maybe it might.
I don't know.
YOU ARE READING
The recollection of my misunderstood thoughts.
PoetryLife's a struggle and it's hard. There's nothing you can do. Just get trough it. I hate my life. There's nothing new. But when the sun is out and the sky is void of clouds you can't help but feel a smile is overdue
