22 Oct 2014
The schools walls are all patched up with square cut outs of different coloured timber. It reminds me of my heart. Where there's holes, I've patched it up.
Trying my best to match the colour so people can't tell. Although you can tell about the walls, my never faltering smile hides the bottomless holes in my heart so well.
Now when I'm with you I never let myself feel at home with you like I did with him. He was safe and you were dangerous but that was your facade just like my smile was mine. We hide our inner self with the opposite more pleasing version. He was not at all safe he was truly mean and although you have a dangerous air about you and your smirk you always hold me gently. Like I might break. It's so hilariously amazing how you, the boy who's meant to be the bad boy would care so much about a girl like me.
I swore I wouldn't trust you or get excited when you flattered me. When I subconsciously whined about caring about school and people calling me a 'nerd' you smiled. Not smirked. And said "I'm happy to have a pretty nerd for a girlfriend." It melted me like a raspberry Popsicle on a summers day. I couldn't stop it nor did I want to.
"You will make it but only if you run"
Now I'm laying in bed looking up at the dark ceiling and thinking about how to run from everything and everyone. Planning the song that's blasting through my headphones failing to drown out thoughts of the dangerous world.
YOU ARE READING
The recollection of my misunderstood thoughts.
PoetryLife's a struggle and it's hard. There's nothing you can do. Just get trough it. I hate my life. There's nothing new. But when the sun is out and the sky is void of clouds you can't help but feel a smile is overdue
