5 Feb 2015
I got in the car.
Heart pounding with excitement that turned to fear.
A crippling and paralysing fear of what was going to happen.
The excitement was washed away by my shaking while I gripped the window.
My dad was at hers.
Mum and her had a fight and aren't friends anymore.
We drove past and beeped.
I wanted to let the confusion take over, tears to slide down my face but I waited until I got home and into my room.
My life is a blur of court notices and confusion.
Police talking to me and treating me like I'm five and I don't understand anything.
I guess I just think I do.
Sitting in my room next to my window my confusion is overwhelming and in the corner of my eye a tear glimmers in the setting sun's light.
The pressure on my chest doubles.
I feel like it's pushing me down and through the floor.
It feels like it's ripping a hole in my upper body.
I've never felt pain like this.
Not even when I broke my arm did I cry this much.
It's so cliche and unless I actually do it people will call me an attention seeker but I want to rid myself of the world or rid the world of me.
I don't know if it's slowly killing me or if I'm slowly killing it.
Both probably.
It gives me family problems and I give it global warming.
Writing this calms me down and now my tears accompanied with hiccups are stopped.
I want this to stop.
YOU ARE READING
The recollection of my misunderstood thoughts.
PoetryLife's a struggle and it's hard. There's nothing you can do. Just get trough it. I hate my life. There's nothing new. But when the sun is out and the sky is void of clouds you can't help but feel a smile is overdue
