18 Nov 2014
My parents are mental but I guess that's what divorce does to people. Maybe that's why I'm fucked up too.
It's not like I have to 'fake a smile' it's just the weight of it at school around my peers vanishes. It's just as if I'm normal during those six hours. It's a hellhole but for different reasons. When teaches yell at me it really messes with me and makes me angry. I've been yelled at enough in my life. Nonetheless I've seen my parents yell at eachother for no reason. It's not fair. When I'm at home in my room it's like the guard falls and I let all my emotions take over. Pulling me in every direction. Sometimes I lay on the floor not even being able to cry and just staring at the slightly off white ceiling. Walking back inside my mother and her friends voices in the background behind me. I left the conversation. Even though we joke about how tough it is sometimes it's too much and I can't deal with it. I close the door behind me. The voices muted and stare at the old, useless, more-of-an-ornimant-than-an-instrument piano. Tears sliding down my cheeks. A pain in my gut, a hole in my heart and a confused brain. I don't know who I am anymore and I'm stumbling trying to find something familiar to grasp onto. He left me, he's gone. My family's too busy to care about me. My friendship group will eventually fall apart and I'll be left alone in this whirlwind d of life. I'm not scared to be alone, I'm scared to be lonely.
YOU ARE READING
The recollection of my misunderstood thoughts.
PoetryLife's a struggle and it's hard. There's nothing you can do. Just get trough it. I hate my life. There's nothing new. But when the sun is out and the sky is void of clouds you can't help but feel a smile is overdue
