29 Oct 2014
Danger is now my comfort. He is dangerous but yet is so gentle. Last night in the dark I told him my problems. The darkness consumed me both inside and out like bleeding ink. He just smiled and hugged me tighter. I think he gets pain. He probably felt it when his dad left. Today at the pool he kept dragging me under and kissing me with all his remaining breath. It's almost as if he knew the swirling blue liquid surrounding me would help me feel better. Calmer. He wanted me to know the world could be like that. And he kissed me to tell me he would be there even if it wasn't. The water that is only a mere metre deep made me feel like I was worlds away. There's a certain perfection to only hearing muffled voices above you somewhere and looking into someone else's eyes through your own blurry ones to find that even though this small tiled pit makes you bubble with excitement. He would sit me on his lap with my back against the pool wall for support and kiss me. Everything about him with me was gentle. He changed from that bad boy to the most caring person. Even when he sat me between his legs while sitting on the poolside grass he did it with care. His hands holding mine gently and his eyes studying me as to make sure I didn't hurt myself. His friend accidentally brought up my ex. I had no problem I just smiled and nodded. The claustrophobic pool atmosphere making it feel like I couldn't breathe. The chlorine closing my wind pipe. Z gently pulled me toward him and hugged me close as if knowing the subject was still a healing wound for me. He cares while seeming like he doesn't have a care in the world. I remember looking up through the flittering light on the surface of the water and the ladder right next to me. I slowly drift higher and higher toward the surface and I feel myself moving slower and slower. The water surrounds me and my eyes are squinting to see where I'm going. His strong arms lifting me out the last of the way. He smirked and commented "wouldn't want you to drown" me sitting on his lap joking about how he wouldn't drop me down into the blue deep water. He would only hold me up. He laughed a bit and said "well you are sitting in my lap being held up in my arms." I smiled to myself because that's the only place I ever want to be.
YOU ARE READING
The recollection of my misunderstood thoughts.
PoetryLife's a struggle and it's hard. There's nothing you can do. Just get trough it. I hate my life. There's nothing new. But when the sun is out and the sky is void of clouds you can't help but feel a smile is overdue
