My diary: an interactive project. Sort of.

1/13/11

I had a horrible day. So I thought I might as well yell you all. It was so embarrassing.

But be warned, it's another story about gym class.

So we were playing badminton( i checked, it actually is tge right spelling) again, and the coach separated the boys into groups of four, and the girls into other groups of four. As soon as he started separating us I knew something bad would happen. Sure enough, I was the last girl. All of the girl teams were full, but there was a guy team with only two people. They happened to be 1) the leader of the group of douchebags in my gym class, and 2) the most athletic and oldest guy in the class. I got stuck with an athletic jerk and an athletic senior( the only nonfreshman in the class too).

Curse my clumsiness and my lack of hand-eye coordination!

I felt like such an idiot. We were practicing serves, and my racket just kept not hitting the birdie. I was mortified. I know it's not really a big deal, a lot of people in my class aren't good at sports, but I'm not used to needing help. The senior tried to help me, but I'm do unused to it that I kinda just backed off.

Also I kinda felt like, it's not his job, he doesn't have to help me, he should stop trying. He has Bo reason to care if I can hit a birdie.

But wait! I'm not even at the worst part yet!

Then it was time to actually play, and since my team had 3 people, I got stuck playing against the coach and the jerk. I had the senior on my team, but it did not help at all. He said at the beginning that he was competitive and would take most of the hits, and I said that was fine, but I felt a little offended. Like, there are two people on this team. I know I'm bad, but I'm still competing. Only I'm competing for my grade, not to win the game.

Then came the bad part. I had to serve it. Which, as previously stated, I CAN'T DO. and the coach was on the team I was playing against. Well, I served it. Or at least I tried to. Ten times in a row. In front of the teacher. I was soo embarrassed! And I got a little upset that a couldn't hit it, so the senior tells me to stay calm and not get mad, and just keep trying. I was like, WTF? (in my head, of course). I wasn't really mad! I was just tired of it! And the coach just kept saying that I had to serve it everytime it fell. And I kept dropping it.

I was a mixture of angry and disgusted, but mostly I just wanted to go home and cry. But there was Bo way I was gonna cry at school. So I just held it in.

I don't know why it upset ne so much. It was partly because I don't have any other classes with them, so if they remember me at all, it will be for how bad I am at sports. It was also partly because hd might take points off my grade, even though I was clearly trying.( I hope he realizes now that it's not that I don't wanna play, it's that I can't).

But I think it was also because I thought they were judging me, and that they would think I'm stupid because I'm so uncoordinated. One of my biggest fears is being thought of as stupid.

And it didn't help that I've hated that jerk since day one. The senior never bothered me much.

Another thing: the jerk was much more reserved when separated from his friends. It makes me really consider the effects people have on each other. I know that my effect is like a depressant. I'm a downer. I can subdue any single person when they are isolated with me, almost always by force of a teacher. But I haven't yet figured out how tosubdue 2 at one time.

I say that like it's a power. It's bot, it's awful. It drives my friends away. But It's something to think about, right?

Anyway that's about it. Sorry I couldn't write more yesterday. I was buried in homework, as I am tonight.

Thank you, and goodbye.

BTW, no reads on the last part? In a full day? Geez, I usually get at least one. Not that I'm complaining. The reads will cone. Almost to 1000. I just hope I didn't lose all my readers in the weeks that I took a break...