My diary: an interactive project. Sort of.

4/24/11 Happy Easter

I hate how reluctant I am to write. I know it makes me feel better, but I never want to do it. It's like I want to hurt myself or something.

So I have a whole list of things to write about this time. I don't feel like counting, so here goes.

1.

I have a friend, sort of, who was recently put on depression medication. ( no, this is not one of the hypothetical situations where I say that it's a friend but it's really me. It's just someone I haven't mentioned much.) this created some conflicting emotions for me. First was sympathy, because I know how he must feel if he needed medication. Second was jealousy, because if he gets to get better, then why can't I? Third was... More jealousy? Maybe anger? But for a different reason. I'm pretty sure he actually needs it, cuz he's been having some problems, but he keeps playing it off like a joke, or like he's just doing it to freak put his parents or just to have medication. I mean, I get it, he's a guy, he's not supposed to show his feelings and all that, but that doesn't mean he should joke about it. It's a serious problem.

I really hope I don't get in any kind of trouble for revealing that. It's completely anonymous, and I would never reveal who I'm talking about. Besides, I'm just repeating what he said himself. Is there any kind of rule against that? Do I need some type of disclaimer?

Anyway.

2.

I might as well get this out of the way...

Glee sucked this week, it was pointless but hilarious, the songs weren't very good, and there wasn't enough Klaine. But the Asians are awesome, Mercedes is cook, and next week is going to be 90 minutes, and Kurt is returning. So yay.

3.

Can I give my opinion on the Day of Silence without anyone getting mad? Yes? Ok good.

So one day this past week people agreed to be silent for the LGBT community, to protest gay bullying. There was this whole fuss about whether it should be allowed in schools. Here is what I think:

Some gay people are bullied. So are some Christians, as well as some athiests, and some Muslims, and some people of other religions. So are some overweight people, and some underweight people. And some white people, some black people, some Asian people, some Hispanic people, and all other races.

My point is, they aren't the only ones being unfairly bullied, and they arent the only ones who feel like no one cares. Everyone is bullied. So why not just have an anti-bully day? Why does it have to be specifically for gay people? What if overweight teenagers want a day for anti- bullying? I bet no one would listen. I bet they would just get bullied even more.

So those are my thoughts, take them however you like.

4.

F5 mentioned that one of his friends was writing a story on wattpad. When he mentioned it I was really tired and only half paying attention, and I jumped when I heard him say wattpad, cuz I thought he had found out about this. I don't remember his exact words, but he might have mentioned her writing about her life... So if you are a freshman girl who recently mentioned writing on wattpad to your friends, and you have a reruns who could be F5, then this might be you! If so, then, Hi, could you please not mention this? Like, to anyone? If F5's friend reads this, then it's getting a little close to home. So anyone else is free to mention it, but if you have suspicions that you know me or anyone else I have mentioned, pleasepleaseplease don't say anything! Thank you!

5.

I went back yesterday and read all of my old posts. I used to be really bad at this, didn't I? But I think I've gotten better. More open to the audience. I like to think so, at least. What do you guys think? Have I gotten better at all?

I also realized that in almost 50 parts I've only written 30 pages. I didn't realize how short they were! It's awful. I was disappointed in myself. Then I caught sight of the number of reads on my first part. 713! Wow! And over 4000 reads overall! I was shocked. I don't feel like I'm worthy of that much attention. I can only imagine how people feel when they get 100,000 reads. Wow.

Thank you all so much for being here for me. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you guys. Special thanks to all of the commentors and voters and fans :)

Also, sorry it took so long for me to respond to the previous comments, wattpad wasn't working for a while, plus I just had no drive to move at all for the past few weeks.

I want you all to know just how great it is to be able to write this. I really feel so much better than I did an hour ago before I started this update. It's a welcome distraction from the boredom and monotony that is life. I have been feeling so empty lately, an when i write this,or read the comments, it gives me a feeling of purpose, at least for a little while. So thank you all so much.

Now that I'm done with my rant, I have some people to thank! And again, I would like to apologize if I forget anyone, and if I do, then please let me know!

XxlolsmilexX- thank you for your encouraging comment! It really helps to have that encouragement. And comments always make me feel better :)

iztofugirl- another starkid fan! Yay! I love when people get my quotes! Thanks for reading and commenting :)

I think that's all I have to say for now. Thanks for reading!

Oh and expect a major rant about Glee next week. It's gonna be totally awesome.

Thank you all :) I feel much better now :)